Thank you, Michele. Your support means the world to me. I am so glad that you liked the video! Xoxox

Aww, THANK YOU for this amazing comment. I can’t tell you how much it means. I am so glad that this story has resonated with you, and even more glad that you’ve decided to break your silence and write a comment. 🙂 I know it can be hard to share your thoughts, and omgggg does it make me sad that my old WIAW posts pushed you away from the blog (Although I am NOT surprised and I applaud you for knowing to stay away at the time!). I am so glad that I am in a better place now so this space can be one you can come to for enjoyment & trust. And yay for trying new things in our recovery process. Sending you lots of love and wishing you a very, very happy holiday season!! Xox

Yes, FLAWESOME! I love it! Best word ever. So glad that this video came at a good time for you. Sending you sooo much love. We’ve got this!

{Teffy’s Perks} X

Love this. When I first talked to a nutritionist about my strict and perfectionist eating habits, she told me to go down to my university’s cafeteria and eat an ice cream cone (I think she thought that if I did this I’d simply “get over it,” “it” being my eating disorder). At the time, the mere thought of even just touching my lips to sugar- and preservative-laden cafeteria ice cream made me feel anxious. I was not ready to adventure this far, so I didn’t (even though I told the nutritionist I would).

A year after taking small steps to become less restrictive, I finally had an ice cream cone (mint chocolate chip!). And I’m glad I didn’t force myself to eat it earlier–I know if I had done it when I wasn’t ready, I would have beaten myself up about it for a week. Instead, since I was ready, I was able to enjoy every lick and realize how far I had come…I could finally think about eating an ice cream cone (and better yet, eat an ice cream cone!) without having a meltdown.

Have you figured out why you have these food fears in the first place? I did. In my early 20’s I was obsessed with my body. I just had to have the perfect body. And I did. I exercised. Anything to be beautiful…and perfect. But I suffered for it. I wouldn’t eat fat or sugar. Many salads. I was hungry all the time. Very unhealthy for the body (I know now).

Worst of all, I knew that boys/men/guys liked skinny women. I was hounded and hated. Men hounded me and women hated me because of the good looks that God gave me. I got so sick of men hounding after me, they’d do anything for a beautiful woman. I had no peace. Cops would stop me and ask for a date, just because of my looks. And women hated me…jealousy to the max. Beauty became a curse to me.

Now that I’m 45 years older and wiser, I don’t care much anymore if I carry some extra weight. It’s not good for my body or my self image though if I’m too fat. My self worth is no longer attached to my physical shape. Now I work at being a good person and loving others. My husband loves me just as I am.

So I think the more we go on and on about beauty, slim bodies, calories, nice clothing, makeup, hair, wrinkles, exercise, etc. the more we obsess about the food that makes us fat, wrinkled, etc.

We focus on health eating…which is very good. But are we really just seeking that golden nugget called beauty? What is the cause of our obsession?

But how much of our food obsessions are actually driven by our own vanity? Mine was. I’ve never lost the craving to be skinny. But it’s tempered now. I won’t even obsess now about healthy eating. I’m now programmed to eat health so it’s easy. But if I want a juicy burger…I’ll have it and enjoy it.

I’ve learned to focus outward…not inward towards myself. I wonder how my friends family are doing. I care for my animals. Being obsessed with our “Self” is our biggest challenge to overcome. Get over yourself, and you become a much happier and a much less stressed person.