Plus, I typically reserve that type of coverage for my email newsletter because if I wrote about everything I wanted to cover here on the blog, I would basically be putting out 25 posts a day. Impossible. But if there is a person or source of information I feel like you guys should really know about, then I will cast aside my regular topics and shout about it from the rooftops. Today is one of those days.

Today I’m going to tell you about the fab MADDY MOON. You may recognize her from when she was our TBV Babe of the Week back in April, or from when I appeared on her podcast the first time, or from when we were on ABC News together, or from her own super inspirational Instagram account, website or podcast!

She has interviewed some of my absolute favorites in the wellness and intuitive eating spaces including my girls Andie Mitchell, Alex Jamieson & Isabel Foxen Duke — to name a few!

And before I go on and on and on (because I fully intend on doing that), I want to link you straight to our brand new podcast episode together, all about Breaking Vegan, our orthorexia journeys, how they parallel (spoiler alert: so many ways!!!), our relationship toward food now, and why we both are simply too extreme to label our diets ever again… Even though we are both tempted to far too often!

Behind the scenes…

Beyond the podcast episode, I want to tell you a little bit about why Maddy is amazing. She and I have yet to even meet in person, but from the very beginning she has been nothing but extremely supportive of my journey. Not only does she show support publicly, which is AWESOME, especially with her recent review on my Amazon book page that stands up to the many hundreds of mean comments I have gotten from angry people who have not read my book; but she also shows support to me privately. She asks if I am doing okay, she reminds me that she always has my back, she sends sweet texts, and has offered many times for me to give her a call whenever I am having a rough time.

She is what I call a TRUE BLUE friend, and if there is one thing in this universe that I like to collect… It’s those types of unconditional, deeply rooted friendships.

Not to mention, my schedule has been wacky this season and I had to reschedule with Maddy twice and sort of left her hanging on the Internet waiting for me to get on to record with her… And she could not have been more gracious and understanding. So, um, can there be more people in the world as kind and good-hearted as her?

I want you to listen to the podcast so I am not going to keep rambling on, but I will leave you with this beautiful section from one of Maddy’s recent blog posts, because it resonated with me SO MUCH. I think it will resonate with any of you who have been in a restrictive or orthorexic cycle like she and I both have:

An excerpt from Maddy’s post: What I Learned From My Recent Binge

One of the reasons why I was so hesitant to recover from orthorexia a few years ago was because, plain and simple, I was good at it.

I was good at restricting. I was good at making myself small. I was excellent at telling people how to diet and lose weight.

When I went out to eat with friends more times than not people would say to me, “Don’t judge me but I’m going to order a burger!”

^ The whole post in itself is extremely well-written, but that part more than anything hit really close to home for me. I too was very good at restricting my food intake. I loved my food rules. I thrived off of the rules. My friends apologized to me for eating non-vegan food around me… And while I never wanted anyone else to feel uncomfortable for what they chose to eat, I was “that girl.” The health-obsessed, plant-based, healthy blogging, super fit, juice cleansing friend. That was me.

On that note, I’ll let you listen to our podcast. Kick back, enjoy a cup of hot chocolate and dive on in, because it’s 56 minutes of great conversation.

BTW, join me in using my latest hashtag #BackInBalance to get some hype going for living the balanced life around the holidays. Fun stuff to come with the hashtag as the season goes on… So get excited and join in!

A.K.A A Very Truth, Balance, Virtue & BABE-A-LICIOUS Collab!

HAPPY FRIDAYYYY my lover loves. This week has been nothing short of UPSIDE DOWN (not in a bad way but you feel me?) after returning from Chicago annddd simultaneously preparing for some fun trips coming up over the next few weeks. Plus my mama is in town so I am going back and forth between trying to take breaks & do fun LA stuff with her, and catching up on work from being away. This weekend I will be sharing details from my Create + Cultivate experience in Chi-town and I cannot waaaiiittt.

In other news, (and by that I mean other incredibly awesome news)… I am so thrilled and so HONORED to have the beautiful Miss Maddy Moon on the bloggy today repping TBV APPAREL!! This girl has inspired me from the first day I stumbled upon her blog & podcast and fell in love with her amazing message of balance. She interviewed me for her podcast a little over a year ago, and it was clear from the conversation that took place and the instant connection we had (can you say same person?) that this girl and I needed to be BFF’s.

Since then, we have appeared on ABC News + BBC News Times’ Two together (you can catch the video here!!!) and I keep up on her killer body positivity posts & balance inspiration via her blog, FB and more. This girl is a rockstar in the arena of finding BALANCE after going to an extreme with diet and exercise (sound familiar?) and hers is a story we should all draw inspiration from again and again. Maddy, you rock, and I am so lucky to know you!

Wearing: Health is The New Black — very fitting, because this beaut radiates health from the inside out and back in again. 

Q: Maddy!!! We are so honored to feature you as a TBV babe of the week because you truly embody the elements of truth, balance and virtue that we seek to represent with our brand. Can you tell us what truth, balance and virtue each mean to you in your life?

A: First off, thank you so much Jordan for inviting me to be a TBV babe because it’s truly such an honor! I relate to you on a very personal and deep level because of our many similarities, and I absolutely cannot wait to come to Cali and hang out with you!

In my life, the word truth means authenticity of the heart. I believe that our heart changes on a moment-to-moment basis, and that our character and identity rely on adapting to those changes without feeling guilty or shameful for it. My truth today might be different from my truth tomorrow, but that’s because I’m open to learning from my day-to-day and moment-to-moment experiences.

Next is balance. This word is probably one of my most-used words, but also one of the most unexplainable. If I could define balance for myself it would mean to indulge in a full spectrum of life, whether it’s in regards to emotions, work, play, money, food, movement, love, sleep, or any other arena. Balance is hard to master in our culture because we’re taught to “go hard or go home!” and that “we can rest when we’re dead!” but once you learn to block out all of those nonsense quotes, you can fully allow yourself to enjoy every part of any spectrum of life. In regards to food, balance means to eat what your body wants in that moment and not have to justify your reason for eating it; it also means to allow your body to eat something completely opposite next time you sit down.

Virtue means to have a personal moral compass that guides you when the rest of the world doesn’t. It means to be faithful to your dreams, desires, and aspirations but also to be kind to those that have ones that differ from yours. Whether or not you always feel virtue within doesn’t mean it’s not there. You simply have to listen and let your compass guide you in life, fearlessly and with confidence.

Wearing: Loving Lately tank. Straight up gorgeous!

Q: You and I have so many similarities (in some photos I see of you I even totally think we look alike), one of those being that we both took healthy eating too far and developed orthorexia. Can you give us a little glimpse into what your life looked like when you were suffering from orthorexia?

Absolutely!

The interesting thing about orthorexia is that it’s a mental anxiety disorder completely dependent on the person. My definition of orthorexia was anything that I considered to be clean eating, low calorie and metabolic-enhancers.

The ironic thing is that my metabolism was utterly destroyed in the process of seeking a “faster” one.

Starting back in high school, I began vegetarianism, veganism, paleo, and then bodybuilding. I was always a fan of a good diet, but none of the diets I was following gave me the type of body you found on the cover of a fitness magazine. I wanted the abs, the tan, the praise, and the admiration. I wanted people to look at me and say, “Wow, she’s disciplined.”

So I set out for my first fitness competition. Before my bodybuilding days, I used to run hours on the treadmill every single day to feed my OCD behavior, so it was easy for me to change my focus from running to weight lifting, fasted cardio, and meal plans. It was addicting and thrilling, to say the least.

I loved the ability to cut out major food groups from my diet, knowing that in 5 months I would have the body on the fitness magazines.

A little glimpse into the fitness magazine esque body Maddy was so eager to achieve… (DAMN GIRL.)

But back to your question- though I had eating disorder tendencies in high school, nothing compared to the habits, rituals and coping strategies I formed with orthorexia. For 4 months at a time, I followed one single meal plan, and even though I ate the same 7 foods day in and day out, I still weighed all of the meals to make sure that every single gram of food was spot on what my trainer told me to have. I weighed cinnamon. I weighed spinach.

I was absolutely obsessed with hitting the numbers perfectly. 

But what happened after my first fitness competition (and even second competition) was over? What happened when I didn’t place where I thought I would, and I discovered that it hurts really freaking bad to have a panel of 6 judges tell you that your body isn’t enough?

More than that, how do you go back to seeing food as nourishment and not just a method of body manipulation?

For me, I didn’t for a long time. I continued to obsess. I had panic attacks when confronted with chicken with more salt or fat than the chicken breasts I made at home. I put grapes in my mouth and then spit them back out into the sink out of fear of what they would do to my body if I swallowed them. I bought food only to take it back to the grocery store the next day and say, “I bought the wrong thing.”

I didn’t go to restaurants for months at a time. I cried on my bathroom floor out of the fear of missing an AM fasted cardio workout since I was on vacation.

I was trapped inside of a perfect body I had created and nobody else could see it because all they saw was a “fit and healthy” body built from…self-discipline.

Q: Your podcast Mind Body Musings is a big source of inspiration for girls (and guys) all over. What do you try to focus on with your podcast, and how did you find the inspiration to get started?

Thank you! With my podcast, I aim to share insight in regards to body image, perfectionism, disordered eating, shame and guilt whether I elaborate on my own experiences or I bring on guests who I know will vulnerably share theirs. Before every episode, I put myself back in the shoes of hungry, anxious, deprived Madelyn and wonder to myself, “What would she want to hear in this podcast episode?” and that’s how I go about recording the podcast with the guests I bring on. I only bring people onto the show that I know are going to bring vulnerability, honesty, authenticity and truth to the table because that’s what listeners need to hear the most.

I also try to make sure that I have a full spectrum of topics ranging from relationships, disordered eating, metabolic damage, women’s health (fertility, PCOS, etc), male body dysmorphia, yoga, spirituality, sexuality and shame, and holistic medicine.

I found inspiration to get started because I was tired of struggling alone and I wanted to build a community. I wanted to interview others that have “been there” but I also wanted to help other people who were struggling feel less alone. I am so grateful, a year later, to actually experience this dream come to life.

Wearing Loving Lately + styling in the cutest way!

Q: You recently changed your site name from Mind Body Musings to your name, Maddy Moon. What was the reasoning behind the switch?

I changed from Mind Body Musings to Maddy Moon because I do not want to identify with my podcast; I want my podcast to identify with me. I am not my podcast in the same way that I am not my body. I am a spirit that just so happens to (luckily) have a body, and have a podcast!

This change also helps me to open up the doors to exploring so many other avenues outside of just the mind-body connection. I want that kind of freedom in my business forever.

Q: Favorite TBV tees and favorite way to style them?

My two favourite tees are the “Health is the New Black” tee and the “Loving Lately” tee.

I like to wear the “Health is the New Black” tee with my handy dandy black boots, jean shorts and sometimes my black kimono-esque shawl. I am a jean short girl all the way in the summer because Colorado heat is no joke! I also like to pair it with black lounge pants or even white linen pants if I’m feeling super zen.

For the “Loving Lately” tee, I usually pair this with my pink floral shawl, which I absolutely adore, and my black boots again. Sometimes I will wear this tea with a striped floor length skirt, or add a pop of color like a hot pink purse, but generally I always want to go back to the minimalistic look.

Point blank, both of these tops “make” the outfit because they are just so dang cute!

Q: Tell us three quirky things about yourself that make you YOU!

1. I am absolutely enthralled and in love with anything directed or produced by Tim Burton. Edward Scissorhands, Nightmare Before Christmas, Sweeney Todd…you name it, I love it!
2. I love the brown paper butchers wrap the meat in. Something about holding it…
3. I am a big hard alternative rock fan, like Rage Against the Machine, Avenged Sevenfold and Volbeat! Any recommendations are always welcome!

Q: Favorite meal? Favorite dessert?!

Of course, this is the toughest question of them all! I think any food that you can eat every single day and never get tired of has to be your favourite food, so I’m going to say good ole’ oatmeal. Something I don’t want every day but still love is sushi!

My favourite dessert would have to be my mom’s amazing pumpkin cheesecake, or anything lemon (lemon bars, lemon cake, Lemon Cookie Three Twins ice cream).

Q: Do you ever feel those restrictive, rigid thoughts coming back to you from your orthorexic days? If so, how do you deal with them?

Yup, sure do! Recently, I’ve come to terms with my IBS and so I have to watch my food again. This makes it particularly difficult to experience total and utter food freedom and sometimes I’ll notice those sneaky thoughts pop in telling me a certain food is bad or good.

Today, I deal with this by reminding myself of the awesome trade off I’ve been given: orthorexia for an amazing relationship, a fun podcast, a vision, a career, body acceptance and love. Do I really want to think that the grass is greener on the other side where there are meal plans, food scales and macros to count? No way!

Generally, after thinking about that I snap out of it. It’s certainly challenging when your body rejects certain foods, but instead of playing the victim card, I see myself as the victor. I CHOOSE to not eat that food because I love myself, not because I don’t love myself! That’s a huge difference.

Q: When we Skyped, I loved that you told me your first “off the plan” meal was a sandwich with your mom, the day after you had had what was supposed to be your cheat meal for the month. (Ahhh, the anxiety even writing that causes me, lol.) How has your family and those close to you played a role in your recovery process?

That’s a good question. I believe during my orthorexia days my family never fully understood what was going on because I had that nice and safe cover up of “living a fit lifestyle” to have my back. Even though I was feeling tortured on the inside, I didn’t show that to them often out of fear they would try to take away my food obsessions and coping mechanisms. The person closest to seeing through the façade was my mother…she could tell that something unhealthy was going on, and once I finally opened up to her she was extremely supportive and helpful.

I have memories of calling her while I was in Whole Foods, breaking down crying, because I felt that I ate too much. She spent hours listening to me and helping me work through my internal battles. My mom was definitely the most helpful and thoughtful person in my recovery.

Next to that, I would have to say my mentor, Matt Stone, who wrote Diet Recovery and Eat for Heat. He helped me through so much during those days and today I am so fortunate to soak up his knowledge on a daily basis. If you don’t know him, go look him up.

Q: Are you spiritual? If so, has that helped you maintain balance on your difficult days?

Yes ma’am I am!

Absolutely, my faith has helped me. A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders when I finally realized that my body doesn’t prove my worth to God. My food obsession does not impress Him. Fitness is not the key to eternal life.

In fact, I came to terms with the fact that my body was becoming an idol and taking me further away from my faith and true purpose in life. For a person that desires validation or permission to do certain things, this was the perfect validation for ending my food obsession and not feeling guilty for it.

Q: Favorite quote.

“Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety”- A Course In Miracles

Q: Lastly, if you could give ONE piece of advice to girls everywhere, what would you say?

My one piece of advice would have to be to start filling your life, your social media feed, your mind, and your bookshelves with the messages of people promoting food freedom and body positivity. You’re already exposed to over 500 advertisements a day centered on dieting and perfection. You see the same photo-shopped bodies every single day, so it’s no wonder you think you’re alone when you see you have a bit of cellulite! But the truth is, you’re not. We all do. The sooner you can limit your exposure to the fake stuff floating out there, and start filling your life up with the real stuff, the sooner you will start to see your own body and eating habits as real and honorable. Our culture, especially the media, need more real in this world and if you can start by being real with your friends and family about your struggles, I know others will open up too. That’s how attraction works. If you’re looking for reasons to obsess over food, you’ll find them. But, if you’re looking for reasons to stop dieting and start living intuitively, you will certainly find that as well.

Look at this straight up BABE on the right, glowing, happy, healthy, vibrant, radiating positivity from the inside and out. The babe on the left is absolutely gorgeous too, but not that we know what was going through Maddy’s mind while she was preparing for her fitness competitions and battling orthorexia versus the BALANCED, healthy minded woman she is now– it makes us think twice when we look at these two photos, yes? I am not a big “before & after” photo kind of person, because I think health and balance are both such an ever-evolving process and are often so, so, SO much more internal than external, but I do think in this case the physical juxtaposition when we know how she was feeling on the inside adds to how much we can learn from and value about this beautiful soul. 

MADDDYYYY YOU ARE AMAZING! We are so lucky to have you on TBB today sharing your beautiful message. Guys, check out Maddy’s blog, podcast & social media and show her some love! She is so right when she reminds us to fill our lives, our social media feeds and our MINDS with people promoting food freedom and body positivity. And check out her fav TBV tees HERE for some extra inspiration & good vibes (and style, duh).

Right then & there I knew she had to be our fifth Recovery Series participant. Madelyn’s story is fascinating to me because her eating spiraled downward while she was a fitness competitor. When you think of the body building industry and women, what do you think of?

I think of super toned, 0% body fat and very clean eating — something that once would have whisked me away at the very thought. Now I think twice. I’m not saying that this lifestyle isn’t maintainable for anyone, but for those of us with extra extreme personalities (like Madelyn and myself!), spending so much time focusing on a body-image related goal and a very rigid meal plan is a recipe for disaster.

Time to let Madelyn take the stage. I am so thrilled she could share her story with us today.

Recovery Series #5 //  ▷ ▸ ▹ ►

Q: Name, age, current location.

A: Madelyn Moon, 23, Boulder, Colorado

Q: Madelyn! Your story is similar to mine in the sense that we both got very attached to dietary labels that eventually let to our disordered eating “downfall.” Can you tell us a bit about your experiences with vegetarianism and paleo? 

A: Yes, of course! When I was in high school, my closest friend was a vegan and she introduced me to a few documentaries that really opened up my eyes to the cruelty of the slaughterhouse industry. I immediately dedicated myself to vegetarianism for these ethical reasons, but soon, after a year or so, avoiding meat became a weight control mechanism. Not being able to eat meat gave me these boundaries to live safely inside of. When my life became stressful, I clung to my dietary beliefs because I knew at least those would never change. Those rules would always be there, and therefore my weight and size would always be manageable.

Along with this diet came really obsessive “fitness” behaviors. I ran around 7 miles per day on a treadmill so that I could see how many calories I burned and then I would proceed with my day making sure that I consumed less calories than I burned during that run. It was nuts.

After a few years of doing this, I found myself a “little” consumed with the bodybuilding industry. Those bodies were so beautiful and I just HAD to find out how they did it! Well, according to all the blogs and magazines, I needed a lot more protein that I was currently consuming. I also needed more structure (6 meals a day, every 3 hours, protein at every meal, etc).

I quickly became obsessed with these bodies and decided to give this new diet a go. I’d just call it a bodybuilding diet. Fast-forward a year or two after stuffing my face day after day with the same foods, and I found that my body became very sensitive to eating so much of the same bland stuff (think oatmeal and chicken) that I had a hard time digesting them. Literally, I was always gassy. Sexy, right?

Basically, I was eating “so clean” that I couldn’t digest anything else that wasn’t on my daily meal plan. After a year or so of dealing with this, I discovered paleo. Honestly, this was more than just a diet, it was a community. Finding paleo was amazing, and I really love the idea of just eating a whole foods-based diet without worrying about the details such as macros, lea timing and calories…but yet, with my perverse nature, I used it against myself. Instead of using paleo as a template to make me feel better, I used it as a control mechanism. I could no longer eat most of my favourite foods even though I could digest them perfectly fine but the truth is, I wanted so badly to “be a part” of this group, that I decided to go strict paleo and ignore all of my body’s desires and cues for it’s favourite foods, like my beloved peanut butter.

I quickly became obsessed, just like I was with being a vegetarian and with being a fitness competitor. I was trying to stuff sweet potatoes down my throat so that I could still make gains in the gym, and for some reason I thought that was OK, just as long as it wasn’t a grain or a molecule of gluten. Heaven forbid.

So at the root of it, these diets were definitely coping mechanisms for me. Instead of facing the stressful things going on in my life, I focused my attention on food and creating the “perfect” body. I wanted so badly to find which diet would give me lean abs, a tight butt and rounded shoulders. It’s funny because even though I did find myself with that body at one point, I had absolutely no one to share it with because I was so negative, obsessed and over-consumed. 

Q: You also have a unique viewpoint because you were a fitness physique competitor– where what your body LOOKS like is the main goal that is worked toward. How did that affect your relationship with food, mind and body?

Oh man, it affected me negatively in so many ways. I no longer saw a meal. Instead I saw 433 calories. I no longer saw a tasty sandwich. Instead I saw 43 grams of carbohydrates and 25 grams of protein. Food was no longer food; it was just fuel. It was science. I was so accustomed to eating protein at every meal that I almost couldn’t eat something unless there was protein alongside it. I was so used to counting calories that I could basically count up everything in my head on the spot. I couldn’t go longer than 3 hours without eating because if I did, I thought my body would probably stop metabolizing the food and then I’d automatically gain weight.

That’s all of the mental side towards food. My thoughts towards my body were a completely different monster. To be completely honest, I couldn’t stand my body. Even when I was 7% body fat, I spend so much time worried about gaining the weight back, I couldn’t enjoy the physique I had worked so hard for. I was so consumed with my stomach and abs that the stress often made me bloat. I was bloated all the freaking time from my massive protein consumption on top of stress I was experiencing, so naturally I was always uncomfortable. I was so self-conscious and self-consumed that I pretty much blocked everyone out of my life. It was terrible, and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

The hardest part was probably coming off of competition prep, and watching my body put back on a little bit of weight. I was still underweight, but in my head I was fat. Truly, truly fat. I could no longer see my body as human flesh. Once I had been as lean as I was, I had a new standard for my figure (regardless of how unhealthy it was) and once the weight started to creep back on, I felt like a failure.

It’s taken a long time to start seeing my body in a different light, but I really do now and I love myself so much more than I did when I was a fitness model. Plus, I feel a ton sexier.

Q: What did it take to realize that your restriction was headed down a bad path? Did you have a tipping point or a moment where you felt like, “this is it, I need to change something”?

A: Goodness, yes, I had many moments. I have specific memories of crying on the floor wishing my fat would go away. I have moments bawling in the car. I remember crying on the phone with my mom at Whole Foods because I felt like I “ate too much” and everybody else was eating less than me. Though, I think the biggest moment was the night of my second fitness competition. I was lying in my hotel bed reflecting on the day and how I had given up the previous 4 months for that competition and it wasn’t worth it whatsoever. That was really eye-opening. For 4 months I followed a strict diet, worried endlessly about my body, missed out on all my friend’s social events, and found myself literally starving on several occasions. Instead of lying there upset and sad, I should have been happy! I should have been so proud of my accomplishment, but yet I was disappointed with my ranking and frustrated about how I was feeling. I knew something wasn’t right.

At one point in my life, I wanted to be fit for the sake of health, but somewhere along the way, that passion became intensely contorted and lost. I told myself that night that I needed to remember this feeling. I felt so awful about the competition and so angry about feeling awful that I knew something wasn’t right in my mind. I knew I didn’t deserve to disrespect myself like that. I was seeking a subjective desire that would never be found, and because of this, I was loathing the only body I have to live in.

Something needed to change, and I needed to find the courage to see it through.

Q: Do you think there are any personality traits that you be tied to restrictive eating and exercise? For example, I am very extreme and have an all or nothing type of personality, and I think that definitely contributed to my disordered eating habits. Do you struggle with extremes?

A: Absolutely! I had some obsessive tendencies as a child, and I think that transferred over as a young adult. That stuff doesn’t just go away unless you are really proactive about it. I am also pretty competitive and self-disciplined. Being able to discipline myself has always been a big strength of mine, but unsurprisingly, it’s also a weakness. I tend to think in black and white, and I often have the desire to be “different” or stand out because of my Leo nature. All of these qualities combined lead to a very stubborn obsessed extremist!

6. You mention on your blog that you were on the EXACT same meal plan for 4 months, to a tee (I totally get that…), what did that meal plan look like? Did you have cravings?! Did it lead to any post-diet binging?

It makes me cringe to think about it. My meals where as followed (and PLEASE nobody get any ideas!):

Meal 1- 4 egg whites, oats, 1 T peanut butter

Meal 2- Chicken and brown rice

Meal 3- Chicken and brown rice

Meal 4- Oatmeal and protein powder

Meal 5- Chicken and green beans

Meal 6- Casein powder (basically protein powder)

Okay so when I say that I followed the exact same meal plan for four months, I mean that literally. Not a blueberry more. Not a bell pepper less. No oil on my chicken, No salt. No sugar. I think I had a banana on a couple “high carb” days, but that’s the only time I had something different. And I ate every 3 hours, NO exceptions. Cause ya know…I’d probably lose all my muscle if I were a minute late. Keep in mind that I was in college at the time too, so I was taking my chicken and rice to class with me often and eating it cold. I can’t tell you how many times I ate in the car. Oh and I ate in a bathroom on a date too.

Q: You started your blog with the intention of speaking about body confidence and the correlation between mind and body. Do you think that being so open on the blog has helped your recovery process, and if so, how?

A: Oh most definitely! I actually started my website in 2012 before I had even done a fitness competition. So my website has been with me through the entire process, including my two fitness competitions. It’s helped me get through so much. My podcast Mind Body Musings has helped me the most because of two reasons. First, I can talk to inspiring people that have similar experiences and can share how they found body peace. Secondly, I confess to what I’m struggling with and I receive emails from people going through the same. It’s so beautiful to be able to share experiences with thousands of people I don’t know, knowing that it’s actually helping them in some way. I firmly believe that if we just talk about this more, so many more people would feel less alone.

Q: What is your take on restrictive diets like veganism, paleo, raw vegan, gluten-free, etc. and the growing correlation between those and disordered eating habits?

A: You know, these days I really have a firm grasp on the fact that everything works for at least one person. I am no longer trying to find a perfect diet for myself, so it’s easy for me to sit back and listen to people talk about their favourite diet.

With that said, I do believe that there is a growing correlation between the two. I consider myself fortunate to no longer have that mentality considering our culture is trying to create food-fearing individuals. We are taught to label foods as “good” or “bad” and we have created these “off-limit” foods for ourselves. We use words like “indulge” and phrases like “cheat meals.” There’s something really twisted about these phrases alone. On top of that, all of these diets with conflicting information almost force us to pick a side. And if we don’t pick a side, we’re bombarded with people trying to sell us on what works for them.

I think it really depends on the individual. If you have an allergy to dairy, gluten and legumes, paleo might be perfect for you. If you have no allergies but you just want to feel optimal, then by all means, experiment and find out what makes you feel best. I think the problem is when we cling to food when something happens in our lives we are uncomfortable with. There’s a problem when we see a smidge of cellulite and cut out all carbs. It’s an issue when we’re in a fight with our boyfriend and we binge. There’s something wrong when you are trying a new diet every single day and hating the whole process.

Simply put, it’s best to just eat what aligns with what both your mind and body want. That’s real satiation.

Q: Favorite quote:

A: Peace within makes beauty without.

Q: Give us a glimpse into a day in the life of Madelyn’s workouts and recovery foods. Because food is fuel, right?!

A: Heck yeah! I go through phases where I want to eat a lot of the same stuff over and over again. This could be a part of my obsessive nature, but honestly I think it’s because everything I’m eating is making me feel so dang good! I usually start my day with a Greek yogurt bowl with berries, sunflower seed butter and something crunchy like granola or organic cereal. Lunch is usually white or brown rice with beef or ground turkey and something green, like Brussels! Dinner is always different. I love making spaghetti squash, sweet potato fries, and healthy meatloaf. I’ve always been pretty obsessed with meatloaf. No joke.

In regards to workouts, I try to have a very sane approach to it. I realize if I get rigid with scheduling workouts, my mindset gets rigid too, and I become too critical. I try to mix it up now by combining rock climbing with hiking, biking, occasional sprints, gymnastics and strength training sessions! Oh and I’ve recently joined CrossFit, which is definitely humbling to me. I’m not very good at it and I love having a new challenge.

Q: How do you maintain your passion for exercise without letting it go overboard and affect your life the way it once did?

A: This is a tricky one to answer. I’ve noticed it’s extremely easy for me to fall back into old habits. About 3 months ago, I took a full month off from going to the gym and that helped tremendously. After I started going again, I experienced negative body image talk in my head. It happened so quickly, as if I never even took that break. I very quickly decided I needed something new to do. I needed a challenge that was focused on performance, not aesthetics. That’s why I’m really focusing on things like rock climbing, gymnastics and CrossFit because none of those things require mirrors and isolation movements. Instead, they focus on strength. Real strength. And after every class, I feel proud of my accomplishments and myself. It had been so long since I left a workout feeling accomplished that now, I only want to engage in activities I know will leave me feeling happier afterwards.

Physical activity is supposed to be fun. Period.

Q: Tell us about the “reverse diet” you put yourself on to gain weight after you realize you needed help.

A: Well the reverse diet was really supposed to be a sane way to come out of a competition diet safely, without ruining your “hard earned work” and putting on an uncomfortable amount of weight too fast. I did this after my two competitions, and they definitely helped me to increase my calorie “tolerance” but what I did after I realized I needed help was pretty different. I actually stopped following all diets altogether. I mean, subconsciously, I was still counting calories in my head and following certain macro “rules” but after awhile, I waned off and tried intuitive eating. I ate foods I hadn’t eaten in forever and thoroughly enjoyed them. I ate meals without protein. I ate at a restaurant more than once a week. I forced myself to delete my calorie counting app and eat meals that I didn’t know the macro breakdown for.

It was so challenging, but once I learned how to let go, so much changed. I was so used to being in control of every morsel that went into my body, I had to quite literally force myself to stop. It also forced me to keep myself preoccupied with other things so that I didn’t have time to focus on food. Instead, I went out with friends and went on more dates! Once I learned to let go over my desire to control, I gained so much in return.

Q: What advice would you give to girls suffering with body image issues? We all want to fall in love with ourselves, and I think you are a fabulous example of someone who was suffering from control issues and you were able to let go and find your way to health. 

A: First of all, thank you for saying that. It means a lot. Second of all, I think I have to give a couple pieces of advice here.

1. Get off of social media. Or at least unfollow accounts that make you wish you were any different than you currently are.

2. Stop your food rules if they are no longer serving the same purpose they did when you started them. If you’re allergic, that’s one thing. If you’re scared, that’s another.

3. Pick up a new non-food and non-fitness related hobby. Learn an instrument, a language, pick up a fiction book, volunteer, or do what I did and get a dog.

4. Listen to more podcasts. There are so many podcasts out there that can help you along with your body acceptance journey. Don’t fill your queue with diet theory podcasts, as tempting as that may be. Try to stick with shows that promote mind and body satiation, as well as bio-individuality.

Q: Three things you’re most passionate about… go!

A: 1. My dog, Ninabelle. She’s most literally the most amazing thing in my life and I owe so much to her. She’s helped me through a lot and there’s really nothing that can compare to the feeling of her snuggling up to me every night.

2. My faith. Knowing something bigger than me is out there watching over me has helped me tremendously. It’s made my worries and struggles seem so small and petty compared to my life’s purpose. I know I was created for a reason and it wasn’t to have an eating disorder. My experiences might have launched me into my purpose though, so for that, I wouldn’t change anything.

3. My podcast. Though it may seem small in the grand scheme of things, my show has helped me and helped others, but even more than that, it’s a blast. I know one day it might not be as purposeful as it is now, and I’m okay with that. But until the day comes (if ever), I’m going to continue to treat my show like my baby. It’s introduced me to so many inspirational people, like yourself, and for that I consider myself very fortunate.

Q: Anything else you’d like to add?

A: There was something I once heard that’s stuck with me for months now and I doubt I’ll ever forget it. It goes like this. There will ALWAYS be somebody that is better than you at something. There will always be somebody that’s deemed prettier than you by society’s standards. There will always be someone more athletic. There will always be somebody better at science. There will always be somebody funnier than you. These are just facts. But there will never, ever, EVER be somebody better at being…you. With all of that said, why in the world would you ever want to pretend to be somebody else, when you’re already one of a kind?

Thanks so much for having me, Jordan!

HUGE thanks to Madelyn for sharing her story with us today. Be sure to check out her website & the amazing podcast series she created! How inspiring is she?! What is everyone up to this weekend?!