Anyway to set the scene for y’all, I am currently blogging from a luscious king bed in a fluffy robe wrapped in the most silky puffy hotel sheets ever at the Four Seasons Westlake Village. A lil staycation if you will. I came to stay here with my mama last night because she was in town shopping for furniture because… SHE & MY DAD ARE MOVIN’ HERE!!

Well, they are keeping their Sactown place but they are renting a place in Brentwood to be here to help me with my treatments… and to live life, because we all know they live their best life and they’ve belonged in LA for a while.

We’re Moving!!!!!

And are you ready for the kicker? They’re renting a place in the SAAAAME BUILDING that Jonathan & I are moving into!! And yes, that means J & I are moving in together… in one week! The reign of Hudson and I living alone is coming to an end. Three years of pure magic living alone in my little one bedroom 201 sanctuary in Brentwood, where I grew and evolved and created so much and learned so dang many things about myself.

When I first moved into my current home I used to squeal every time I walked in the door. Probably for a good six months. I was SO happy to be in my own space after years & years of living with roommates, sharing bedrooms (college), and before that of course living with my family. Every living situation had its place and purpose in my life, but the last three years with just me and Hud have been particularly golden.

But after getting extremely ill slowly but surely over the last three years, traveling to Bali solo in the spring & embarking on the water fast, several months ago I started to really feel like I was outgrowing my space. I actually sobbed when I returned from all my travels because my space didn’t feel like it fit me anymore with how much I have evolved this year (in the good ways and the hard, not so good ways). I walked in the door after being gone for two months and saw boxes on top of boxes of product and soooo much clutter and lights that don’t turn on right and nonexistent curtains (thanks Hud) and our small-ass kitchen & teeny bathroom with the stained bathtub (Goop charcoal bath salts really effed me) and the way Hud has ripped our furniture to shreds and just thought, “I AM DONE. THIS IS NOT ME ANYMORE.”

Melodramatic I know but I really truly had a massive breakdown about it (space is CRUCIAL and when you see all that clutter it can make your mind feel cluttered as ever) and then our PERFECT HOME fell into our lap a few days later… the same day as my Lyme diagnosis… so things really do happen for a reason, all in their most perfect divine timing.

Not to mention, falling madly in love with my babe and being unable to imagine not coming home to him (or him coming home to me… I work from home yo) every night for eternity kind of helped me put the 201 home to rest as well. So it’s TIME, and we move next SATURDAY!

So all of my yoga videos, kitchen pics, podcast BTS videos, all of it… will have a new location very, very soon. And I am so ready for it. My glorious 201 home has served me so well, and now it’s time to move forward to the next. (Now it’s a 206. I had very, very mixed feelings about that at first but now I am very excited because I think it’s me & J’s new number together. 201 will show up all over the place there I am sure of it.)

Oh & our new kitchen is BEAUTIFUL and open and so bright (white marble my dream) and I just know it’s going to inspire me to create all of the yummy intuitively plant-based recipes and perhaps even be the home for a new SOS-free autoimmune friendly cookbook… shhhh, you heard it here first!! *insert dancing emoji x 293829832*

And my parents will be right upstairs!! Not DIRECTLY above but a few over and I am just elated. When you’re sick with chronic illness and you spend about 85% of time tied to your bed because you don’t have energy to even move to the couch… knowing your parents are right upstairs is the most comforting feeling in the entire universe. And we all know Byron is going to be my full-time photographer, box opener, and business manager so thank the LORD I will finally have some [more, hehe] help around here!

Oh & lastly about the new place… I got an in-home infrared sauna for us (LUXURY AT IT’S FINEST, I KNOW, but also my greatest healing tool I have found for Lyme, mold, parasites, MCAS, and MTFHR so far) and you can get your own here if you’re interested (tell them I sent you)… soooo much more to come on this.

What else is new?!

Beyond the move, which I am so thrilled about (can you tell?), most of my time is spent either in bed resting or carting myself around to my various healing treatments. Soon I will do a whole post on my treatments, but for now think ozone therapy (IV, nasal, and rectal… #realness), infrared sauna, acupuncture, cupping, cryotherapy, massage, foam rolling, hyperbaric chamber, and Ayurvedic Panchakarma to name a few.

And if you see that whole list and think that I am out of my mind for doing so much, just consider that my life without any one of those things on any given week (minus the Panchakarma, that’s a special occasion treat!) is pretty much unlivable. I am so grateful and yes PRIVILEGED that my sickness came at a time where I am a position to afford the treatments I am getting. It’s not like it’s easy or that I am particularly thrilled to see my bank account taking more hits by the week because of my Lyme treatments and meds and everything else… but I am damn grateful that I even have the option to do these things and get my hands on my meds.

I worked tirelessly and constantly and truly non-stop for five years straight, and THEN I got debilitatingly ill. My heart hurts 24/7 for the people out there who are sick and have no savings account to turn to to begin to heal and get well. I do this for them. And if that’s you reading, I do this for YOU. I share my experience to enlighten the public about how debilitating the chronic illness life really is. So that one day (soon, we will make this happen soon) there will be an affordable cure for all, insurance will cover the treatments we NEED in order to be well, and necessary forms of self-care will not be something reserved for the few who can afford it.

I have sadly had to cancel everything I was planning to do this summer… minus one little trip with J where we will be going and turning off our phones and I likely will barely get out of bed but that’s fine because that’s what vacation is for… but yes it hurts and it’s sad and I am missing out on a lot of important mileston’s in my friend’s lives and it crushes me. But I know I have to put my health first or else I will just keep declining, and that’s what my life looks like right now.

Just a little peak into my fourth of July: I spent it in Laguna celebrating the holiday & also J’s best friend’s birthday who I love very much… and I can’t even begin to tell you how debilitatingly ill I felt/was/became that day. I felt like my brain legitimately didn’t work. I had several panic attacks. I developed the most crippling splitting migraine, and then developed a full-body breakdown of pain worse than anything I have felt maybe ever. The fireworks hurt everything from my eyes and ears down to my bones. I drove home later that night (I was supposed to spend the night but you know how it goes) and every single joint, muscle, and bone felt like it was on FIRE. I stayed up all night with raging insomnia and sobbed myself to sleep. Jonathan was with me and he is a saint from heaven, but when I feel this way I am inconsolable. It’s rough.

I share all of this because if you also feel this way, you’re not alone. Or if you can’t imagine feeling this way (and I hope you can’t!!!) then to give you more insight into what my life is like right now and why I have to make choices the way that I do… AKA stay in bed most of the time and cancel most of my plans and/or not even make them.

Other new things… I made a new playlist for July, which you can find here! It’s called RAP & SAVASANA… WHAT?! because my intuition guided me to mix Drake, Eminem (some of his dirtiest stuff… #notsorry!!), and Macklemore with Trevor Hall, Jason Mraz, and John Mayer to name a few. Probably because they’re my two fave types of music so I felt like blending them all into one playlist.

When I make playlists I try to include live versions of songs and fun remixes as much as possible because a lot of us have heard the originals and it’s fun to step outside of the box with music. Music is actually one of my greatest healers. In terms of completely FREE things we have access to that can heal us from the inside out, music is one of those things. Music sets my soul on fire and makes me so happy.

Other newness vibes… YESTERDAY WAS HUDDY’S THIRD BDAY!!! We celebrated him with lots of treats and new toys and snuggles. My little man changed my life exactly three years ago and made me a mama and I truly don’t know what I would do in this Lyme season of my life without his unconditional love and sweetness.

We have our high vibe chronic illness tribe on FB that is an amazing resource & community full of inspiring humans who are dealing with being sick. Feel free to join whether you have an illness or whether you just love/know someone who does or are interested in learning more what living with one might be like. I have learned so much from these humans already and the fab questions and feedback they’re providing in our group.

And as always we have our soul on fire podcast tribe on FB that is my other favorite place to be. High vibes & likeminded humans all around the globe. If you’re looking for community and friendship with people who GET IT… I mean like, REALLY GET IT, then join and hang with us. <3

Today I am off to have lunch with my BFF Brandin (remember him from our kinda viral BFF video?!?! One of my all-time faves) and his mama who is also suffering from Lyme, mold, parasites, and basically everything that I am. I love her. And then getting a consult at Surya Spa for my upcoming Panchakarma on Monday. Tomorrow doin’ some infrared and hitting up the farmer’s market.

What is everyone else up to this weekend?! Tell me how you’re doing and where you live and all that jazz, I love connecting with you guys more than life. <3 Xoxoxo 

A few very special things happened while I was in New York. I met some of the kindest, most inspiring people I have ever known, and I also grew unbelievably close to the friends who were already in my life before I moved. I think New York has that quality to it – your friends become your family rather quickly. It’s partially because our real families are all so far away, but there is more to it than that.

We are all in the city for a reason. New York draws in a certain type of personality; a certain type of person at a certain stage in their life—someone who is motivated, inspired and driven to chase their dreams and isn’t afraid to get ripped out of their comfort zone. (Yes, ripped… there is nothing light and airy about the growth that happens in NYC.)

Sure, there were hard days. Many! There were days it was 7 degrees outside and the snow burned my face red for days. There were nights that Katie was out of town and the only thing in the world I wanted to do was fly home, crawl into bed with my parents and stay there forever. There was the time I realized that grad school wasn’t for me and I felt entirely out of place and at a standstill. And of course there was the time we had mice living in our apartment (oh wait, that was always).

There were amazing days too – days that I roamed the streets for hours, wrote my heart out in sidewalk cafes and ate every meal of the day alone at a different adorable organic restaurant. I learned to be completely okay with being alone and to trust myself to be my own friend… to take more than ten steps outside without feeling the need to call someone or try to meet up with a friend.

I learned that spontaneity is healthy, that people who are too extreme give me anxiety and I don’t need them in my life, and I learned that Saturday nights laying in bed watching Orange is the New Black and pinning food photos to Pinterest can be just as fun as a night out at a club on the Lower East Side. I surrounded myself with people who accepted me unconditionally and supported my choices.

I learned that it’s quite easy to stay in touch with people who are truly meant to be in your life, and that a good 3-hour catch up sesh with one of your besties across the country can sometimes be the best medicine. I also learned that people come through New York constantly – that it’s a hub for anything and everything cultural and awesome, and that the city has a wild way of connecting people who may not have been close in another city or another type of city.

I also learned profound things about myself that I had been in denial about for a long time – that while health is and should be a priority to me, it was taking over my life in an unhealthy way. The obsessions and difficulties I was dealing with all through the winter (and for years before, but very much intensified in the last six months or so) could be attributed to a rapidly developing eating disorder. I learned that I had developed a whole host of unhealthy habits to deal with the “WTF” period in my life.

And, in the last couple of weeks, I learned something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Good people, people who understand their own truths and are happy in their own skin, will always support those whom they care about and they will always stand up for what they believe in. The positivity I have been shown by all of you lovely souls since my “coming out” post on the blog two weeks ago, through the GMA and Nightline filming and the vicious attacks from the “vegan police,” has left me utterly astounded and happy as hell to be alive and sharing this lovely world with all of you.

I learned that people who are unhappy and insecure with their own choices will do anything in their power to judge and to make their voices heard. And I’ve learned NOT to pay attention to them, because their negativity isn’t worth my time or energy. There’s no reasoning with people who make no sense, and even though it’s kind of fun to laugh at the wild things they say (such as: “I’m going to barbecue your family”… excuse me?) it’s also very worth it to ignore their ridiculousness entirely. All they want is a response and a rise.

I am SO EXCITED to walk you through the thrilling few days of filming for GMA and Nightline with ABC news and the incredible Juju Chang, but for now I will show ya the clip that aired on Wednesday morning (best day of my life) for anyone who missed it!!!

CLICK HERE to watch!!

Now, I’m back in California and I simply can’t wait to share so many things with you!!! A) GMA & Nightline deets, B) I cannot WAIT to share my “A Year in Photos” post on the bloggy about my year in NYC, C) I have some fun giveaways, product reviews and recipes to share, D) Now that I’m home I can finally get to work on the app (YAY), and E) I am going to be doing some fun filming with the talented Morgan Oliver-Allen for the yoga section of the blog.

Another thing I learned: while I am highly addicted to the internet and all things social media (hello, I’m a full-time blogger!), I am much more addicted to PEOPLE and the real human connection of having a fabulous face-to-face conversation, frolicking around fun cities with people that I love and sharing happiness with the people I care about.

Thinking about the friends I’ve left in New York brings me to tears… (especially my sissy), but they all know that they are in my heart always and forever and this is only the beginning of our beautiful life adventure together.

And now I get to spend some long-awaited time with my family. I haven’t written about this on the blog, but it’s been a rough year for my fam… and being back here with them is the greatest blessing I could ask for right now.

TBV is BACK in the blogosphere, babes!! It was a brief but whirlwind hiatus, and I think all the excitement of last week was a pretty good excuse.

How the heck are all of you?! What have I missed? Any particularly fun posts that I missed out on while I skipped out on blogtown for the week? Share anything and everything with me. I’ve missed you all! Xox

Just to give you a little visual before I get into it: I am sitting on the floor of my empty room wrapped in my comforter with my pillows propped up against my closet door. My suitcases are at my feet, and my clothes that I couldn’t part with for a few years are hanging on my doorknob. Its reeeal empty up in here!

Here’s the thing. I have never been so sad to leave somewhere before. Every time I go home to California after living another city, I am totally satisfied with the experience and ready to close the chapter. New York has such a huge piece of my heart and has turned into such a home for me, I am really not feeling that “satisfied” feeling right now.

People keep asking me – why California? Why leaving New York so soon? Well, I moved here last August for a graduate school program and also because I always wanted to live in New York for a certain amount of time after college. As soon as I got here, the blog started taking on a bigger and bigger role in my life, until eventually grad school (right now at least) didn’t make as much sense anymore.

When I made that decision it was still the middle of the winter… the harshest winter New York has seen in decades, by the way. I was also still relatively new here and was desperate to be closer to family and many of my friends who are back in California. I decided that LA was much more conducive to people like me with alternative schedules, because I would be able to go outside year round and also connect with people in the health world in LA and start building awesome connections that I felt I had already built here.

I wanted to be somewhere where I felt I was going to stay. It was a rocky few months for me, and I was feeling very ungrounded. Every time I visited sunny LA and got to hike the Hollywood Hills in the middle of January while it was 7 degrees in NYC… I felt at home. I felt whole, and I felt happy.

Long story short, I now feel whole and happy in New York too. I think it takes a while to get adjusted to living somewhere… almost a whole year, in my case. My friends in New York have become family, likely because my own family is so far away. The city, and especially the west village where I live, has turned into such a comfortable home. I love my independence here and the ability to walk down the street and get whatever the heck I would ever need. I love the energy of the city and being surrounded by extremely motivated people. I love living with my lifelong best friend and I am going to miss her terribly. (Say hi, Katie!)

All of that said… I know I will re-make a home for myself in LA as well. I am still extremely excited to be close to my family and all of my amazing friends in California. I am excited for the sunshine, the beach, the health community out there and of course my beloved yoga studio. I am a lucky girl, because to me it’s a win-win. LA is a win, NYC is a win. I am going to come back and visit as often as I can. This city has stolen my heart, and it’s time to conquer the next!

Oh, and my best friend in the world came to visit me this weekend and it was a SURPRISE… can you say amazingness?!?!

I am putting together A Year in Photos post to commemorate my time in New York, and I cannot wait to share it!!! It’s really cool to look back and see how much has happened in the last year. Last August feels like a century ago. I am also going to write a little “What NYC means to a California girl” post, because I have gathered so many thoughts, quotes and experiences about it that I might as well share. All of my west coasters and my east coasters will appreciate it!

Now… before I get back to packing and rolling my suitcases from here to Katie’s new apartment (eeeek!!), I want to hit you with a little “How I stay healthy while in the process of moving” kinda thaaang.

It’s kind of hard when you realize it would be silly to buy groceries that are going to last more than a few days, and also because it’s your last few days somewhere you are eating out constantly because you’re on the go and you want to spend time with as many people as possible.

That’s why it’s extra important to remain prepared! I have stalked up on Kind bars (my ultra fav, omg so good) and also my Vega One protein powder mini-packets so I can make smoothies on-the-go. I even packed up my Vitamix yesterday and sent it on a truck to LA… it was like parting ways with a boyfriend, for real.

Another few things that are great in a time of packing and stress are… juices and smoothies. Pre-made, but still entirely organic, raw and cold-pressed. Rawpothecary and Luli Tonix have been savin’ my life this week. A nice blended smoothie with fruits and veggies is a great breakfast alternative when you are pressed for time and don’t have access to your regular kitchen appliances. Even my pots and pans are gone!

I do admit that NYC makes it a heck of a lot easier to stay healthy while moving out of an apartment… because there are awesome organic restaurants like Feel Food on every corner in the west village. I stopped by for some delicious oatmeal and green juice yesterday morning, and will probably do the same this morning.

And this was me picnicking on the floor of my empty living room after my movers came yesterday… (and the first time salmon is making an appearance on this bloggy… big step!) PS– sorry for all the iPhone pics!

Another important thing is to stay movin’! It can be hard to find time to stay active while in the crazy moving process, but taking an hour out of your day to do some yoga or go on a run makes a HUGE difference. I went to yoga yesterday after several days of being unable to, and I felt like an entirely new person. Absolutely worth making the time for.

And, lastly… have FUN. Enjoy special time with your friends before you head out. I am lucky to be surrounded by incredible people here, and am soaking in every moment with them! And, with my resurgence of love for balance, finding that balance and spending time with the amazing peeps in my life instead of stressing about the move 100% of the time has been extremely healthy.

Thank you a million trillion for the continued love about my last few posts, and about the crazy changes going on in my life right now. It’s hard to stay grounded when nearly everything is upside down at the moment, but your love and support have made it SO MUCH EASIER. I can’t thank you all enough. I keep breaking down and crying because I am so grateful, so lucky for all of you and so overwhelmed all at the same time.

Cannot wait to be back in Cali in a few days where I am going to really set my mind to coming up with a brand new blog name and rebranding a bittle.

Oh, AND if you didn’t see my excitement on Facebook and Instagram about the Women’s Health article about TBV yesterday and my journey through transitioning out of veganism…. check it outttt!!

So much love to you all! Cannot wait to share my year in photos post.

How is everyone else’s week going?!

I promised that today would be the day that I shared my big life news with you all. It’s news I have been uncontrollably hinting it for the last month and a half…but I couldn’t fully come out with it until I had every last detail squared away. I didn’t want to jinx it!

Well, all my ducks are certainly lined up and ready to go, so here goes nothin’…

I’m moving back to Los Angeles!

Yep, cue the Coconut Records song I’ve been obsessed with since I moved from Italy back to California in 2011…

That’s right, this west coast gal is headed home! L.A. is the place that makes me happiest and makes me feel the most alive. I am my truest self when I am near the ocean, my family, my closest friends, my favorite yoga studios, and year round sunshine (a.k.a when I can actually go outside between the months of November and April). I will also be closer to everyone I work with on TBV, which is becoming more and more of a must with all the exciting new projects we have going on.

I know what your next question is – what about grad school?! Didn’t I move to NYC to pursue an MFA in Creative Writing?!

I certainly did, and I am about three weeks away from finishing my first year of the two-year program. I have had an incredible experience in the program, have met some amazing people and have most definitely learned a lot about the craft of fiction and writing a novel.

But you’ve probably noticed that over the last several months my talk of novel writing has been dwindling as more and more has been happening with TBV. I find it more of a struggle to write fiction and meet my deadlines for class because all I ever want to do is brainstorm all things TBV, learn more about health and nutrition, answer all of your questions and connect with all of you.

All of this, combined with some little things going on in my personal life, have brought me to the decision that I need to focus on TBV full time and allow myself to become fully immersed in the health world (getting my health coaching certification from IIN, too!). This was a terrifying, albeit exciting, decision for me, because I have spent my whole life thinking that I was going to grow up and be a novelist. All I wanted to do was write novels – hence my decision to jump directly from my undergraduate degree to a Master’s program.

Also, I have basically never made the decision to not finish something I have started. I always plug through it, no matter what, even if it is no longer serving me in the way that it once was.

When I was in L.A. for my spring break about a month ago, I was trying to tell one of my best friends that I felt like I should just finish the program and then allow myself to get fully immersed in TBV… and she looked at me and said, “You’re going to finish that program if your life depends on it, even though you’re not going to be happy doing it and you’re going to be living in the future waiting for it to be done.”

Her words really struck a chord with me. It has become incredibly clear to me what I am most passionate about right now, and trying to force something else is A) making me feel unnecessarily guilty, B) overwhelming, C) going against what my heart is pulling me toward.

I am pretty darn spontaneous in every other aspect of my life, and when I am passionate about something I am very passionate. Sometimes you just have to take a look at your life plans, realize how much you have changed along the way, and let your heart take you where it wants to go.

So that is what I am doing.

My heart is taking me back to California.

And I am happy, thrilled, terrified, shocked and astounded about it.

And I’m OK with that.

More details to come – but I couldn’t wait another moment to tell you! Thoughts?!