Not to mention lots of other exciting goodies in the works (*cough cough* TBV Summer Cleanse program, *cough cough* my mom’s upcoming fashion blog, *cough cough* super fun collabs with WorldLifestyle, Nadya Andreeva,  Goodwater Farms and The Raw Food Sisters, *cough cough* half-marathon in Central Park this weekend, you know, the usual…)

Anyway, I wanted to check in with you all regarding “Fall in Love With Yourself April” a.k.a the self-love challenge I have been running on my blog and Instagram account this month. The emails, photos and comments that have been pouring in from those of you sharing your personal health journeys and self-love struggles have been humbling and absolutely incredible.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thanks to each and every one of you for warming my soul with your willingness to share, your openness to make changes and your overall positivity and love.

Having all of you on board for this self-love challenge has been particularly helpful for me in dealing with my own eating issues and how I view and treat myself… especially in the midst of all of these wacky changes happening in my life (mainly good changes, but changes rock the freakin’ boat of life no matter what).

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you know that I have had my fair share of struggles with the restrict-binge-restrict-binge cycle, and that going plant-based changed my life and settled my lifelong tummy problems. But that doesn’t mean I have been able to totally divorce my mind from the self-destructive mentality that comes along with the “oh shit I just ate something that’s going to make me feel really sick,” or “oh god I just ate something off of my diet plan… I guess this means I’m going to skip dinner.”

Learning the relax the rules about food that I have made for myself throughout my lifetime and to accept that my body knows best and I need to trust it, love it and support it every waking moment of the day in order to have the best relationship with my self and with food has been the real game changer for me, and this month I have learned a whole lot about myself.

This month…

I have made it a point to not allow myself to have negative thoughts about what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat, how little I eat, or how I feel before/after I eat. Replacing those negative thoughts with positive thoughts, looking in the mirror and practicing self-love versus self-criticism, allowing myself to indulge when it feels right and refrain when I am not in the mood for something, and most of all relaxing versus trying to control my every step has been SO. HELPFUL.

It might sound ridiculous to you – how does she not know these things? Isn’t she human? Doesn’t she have common sense?!

Yes, I have common sense (too much of it I think sometimes), but when you’ve suffered from digestion issues your whole life and you have found something that works and are trying to get back to that state of balance without beating yourself up in the mean time, you might have issues and it’s OK to admit that.

Scratch that, it’s necessary to admit that.

Repeat after me: I have issues!!! And I am fine with it. I am working my issues out, because I love myself and I know that I am worth it. I am enough. I deserve to wake up every morning feeling light, amazing, energized, confident, proud of myself and ready to tackle my day.

I am enough.

And you know what helps? Finding others who inspire you. You know who inspires me? The winner of this week’s self-love challenge, Miss Natasha Kadimi of Organic and Happy. (Oh, and it’s also her birthday, so happy birthday Natasha!!! Love you, beautiful girl.)

Also linking up with Amanda from Running With Spoons since this post is largely a “Thinking Out Loud” post one of my favorite things to do…

All photos from Organic & Happy from here on out…!

The Winner of This Week’s Self-Love Challenge:

I found Natasha on Instagram when I was a new vegan and I had not even started my blog yet. She posted tons of beautiful photos of raw vegan yumminess, but more importantly she wrote inspiring, self-affirming captions that sparked my interest and made me develop an immediate respect for her.

Over the past few months I’ve had the opportunity to get to know Natasha on a more personal level, and I am so incredibly lucky that I have. Her story is beyond inspirational, and the moment I heard it I knew I had to share with you all.

To keep it short and sweet, Natasha suffered from disordered eating habits for 7 years of her life. When she was in high school, she ate nothing more than a handful of strawberries a day for two years straight (!!!!). Her self-worth revolved around people telling her how pretty she was because she was thin. Her grades slipped from A’s to B’s to C’s and then to D’s… and she was tired, miserable and knew she was battling a huge problem on the inside.

A few years later her eating disorder shifted, and she began binge eating (who wouldn’t after years of such tight restriction?!). She spent hours in her cupboard devouring everything in sight, mainly processed junk, and then she felt so terrible afterward she wouldn’t eat again for several days. The cycle continued, and her weight yo-yoed way back up.

One day, after several years had passed, Natasha decided she wasn’t going to do this to herself anymore. She was going to learn to love herself and ditch the self-hate and self-harm, no matter what that meant.

Her new decision lead her to the plant-based diet, and through the beauty of fruits and veggies she has been able to heal herself one day at a time. She now believes that she is beautiful and knows that she has so much love and knowledge to offer to the world, and she doesn’t know her weight nor does she care to.

I am here to attest to the fact that Natasha is a gorgeous woman on the inside and out. She is a huge inspiration, and she is incredibly wise beyond her years. I know that she is going to do big things and she is going to help so many people become comfortable in their own skin by sharing her story and sharing what she’s learned with us all. If nothing else, she has inspired the crap out of me, and for that I am forever grateful.

#fallinlovewithyourself #tbvchallenge

Comment on this post, email me, and/or enter on Instagram by hashtagging #fallinlovewithyourself and #tbvchallenge to share your stories and for a chance to be featured on the blog in the coming weeks. I want to share as many stories as I can! And if you don’t want your story to be shared, email me personally, I would still love to hear your story. 

Would that make you uncomfortable? Do you think you could rise to the challenge? Well, I’m challenging you to do it. Starting now. The month of April is going to be all about loving yourself, loving your decisions, making choices that scare you, taking care of your body and nourishing it with goodness, loving and accepting the exercise goals you choose for yourself, and doing the things you always dream of doing but put off until “next week” or “next month” or, you know, “SOMEDAY.”

Today = your someday. It’s goin’ down!!!

There are a few things that spurred this sudden desire to declare April the month of self-love on TBV. Let me tell you in list form, because you know I love a good list:

Why Self-Love Matters to Me:

A) I have been realizing lately (in reading the amazing book Happy Belly) that, although I am a pretty darn positive and confident person, I put myself down a lot more than I need to. It stems from my stomach and indigestion problems and the fact that I have to be so rigid about what I eat if I want to feel good. Instead of practicing self-love after a meal that upsets my stomach, I beat myself up over it and tell myself it’s all my fault and I didn’t have enough self control. In reality, it’s those moments where I need to be showing myself the most love and listening to what my body is telling me. And when you practice self-love versus all of the negative “OMG I can’t believe I just ate that what the eff was I thinking?!” you have way more of a chance to be in tune with your body and develop a happy, healthy relationship with food.

B) While training for my half marathon I pushed myself to the brink, every single day, loving the running high and the endorphins swimming through my bod. I was also swimming, doing yoga, walking several miles a day, and taking Equinox classes like a maniac. I hurt my ankle a few weeks ago and continued to push and push until I reached the point where I had to stop training. Huge bummer, right? If I had been practicing the utmost self-love, I would have listened to my throbbing ankle and forfeited my long runs until it started to heal. This month for me is going to be about listening to my body to get back to the healthiest state possible. I will not push myself on days that I am tired, and I will continue to practice yoga, run and swim in a healthy (and not obsessive!!!) manner.

C) You all know I place a huge emphasis on my health, and because of that I eat a super clean, oil-free, salt-free, wheat-free, refined sugar-free diet. And because of all of that restriction (even though I do it happily!) I sometimes get too hungry or too run down while I am out and about, so when I finally am able to sit down and eat a meal I have a tendency to overindulge. Even overindulging on vegetables, fruits, healthy granolas, dried fruits, raw chocolate etc. is just as damaging to the stomach, digestion, and the mind as overeating on something unhealthy. If I take care of myself, eat when I am hungry, listen to my body to know how much to eat, and maintain my clean diet, I should have no problems. Time to listen to my bod and not my overactive mind!

D) I have a lot of changes going on in my life right now. Huge things are happening, great things, but they are pulling me in all sorts of directions. I need to stay extra focused, breathe, and take it easy on myself while I figure out all of the life adjustments that need to take place to accommodate the changes. My go-to super-fast-paced kick-butt-in-the-gym and eat-the-cleanest-EVER is going to do me more harm than good… I need to take it easy on myself, and practice what I preach! This means journaling, relaxing bubble baths, massages, unwinding and more yin yoga (deep stretching) classes.

E) Holding myself accountable by engaging in a challenge like this with all of you is way more fun than doing it on my own. I also know that I am much more likely to succeed if I have a platform to come back to—we can all do this!

If you love yourself and your body every single day, you are more likely to feed it in the most healthy and nourishing way possible. It will foster a loving, trusting and sound relationship between the body and mind.

Do you normally exist in a restrict-binge-restrict-binge cycle? This is the month to work on that. Tell yourself that this is worth it. You are worth it.

Do you push yourself at the gym until you’re completely dead and your limbs are shaking like jello? Or do you slack off and tell yourself you can go to the gym tomorrow? Find a healthy medium – you are worth it.

Are you putting off making a big life decision because you’re afraid of change? This is the month to make your dreams your reality. You know what I’m going to say here, but… YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Challenge Rules:

Tag me in your photos, too! The photos can be anything from a healthy meal, a sweaty gym selfie, a relaxing bubble bath, a productive to-do list, a new pair of running shoes, your yoga mat, a photo of a food journal, the list goes on and on… it just has to be related to health, making positive changes, and loving yourself. Include a little story (or you can email me if you aren’t comfortable posting on social media!) about why this challenge is important to you, and I will choose a winner each week to feature. I cannot wait to see what you all come up with!

As act #1 of self-love I have decided to do a one-day juice cleanse this Sunday, which for me is huge because I would normally commit to a three or five day cleanse when it comes to detoxes. I know all I need is a little recharge to help me kick this cold in the butt, and on Monday I will be back to my regular ways. A one-day cleanse is what my body is calling for right now, so by all means I am going to listen to it.

And, as act #2 of self-love, I had this heavenly bowl of oatmeal this morning! I used to be afraid to eat oatmeal because I thought it would be too heavy and would bother my stomach more than a simple green smoothie for breakfast, but through listening to my body, being kind and patient with it, and trying out new recipes I have learned that gluten-free oats are a great meal option for me, as long as I stick to about 1 cup oats once fully cooked.

Gooey Flax Seed Oatmeal

Ingredients:

½ cup gluten-free steel cut oats

1 tablespoon flaxseed meal or flaxseeds

½ cup blueberries

¼ cup mulberries (I use the brand Navitas naturals)

½ sliced banana

1 tablespoon raw local honey (or agave, maple or liquid stevia)

Directions:

1. Boil the oats in water until the water is fully soaked through. While you wait, slice your bananas and get everything else ready.

2. Once the oats are boiled, stir in flaxseed and raw honey.

3. Top with toppings, and enjoy!

Nutrition Information:

This is an issue I spend a lot of time thinking about. I think about it in regards to myself, the people I know and most often (strangely enough) in people that I observe. I am sort of cursed with the quality of being painfully observant (it can be a blessing when it comes to writing), so when I am in a room with a lot of other people I can’t help but observe, analyze and make postulations. I don’t do it in a judgmental way, it’s more of a subconscious habit, but I do make a note of people’s faces, bodies, the way they carry themselves, the way they interact, how happy/unhappy/distracted/present they look, etc.

Think about it: you are placed in a room full of people. For the purpose of this post, let’s say it’s a room at a yoga studio. The room is pretty packed; it’s a popular class. Everyone is coming to practice yoga, so if nothing else they are motivated to do something good for their body. This generally means most people in the room are going to be fit or be on the road to a healthy lifestyle. Think about how many of these people are comfortable in their bodies. Likely a very small portion of them. Then think about how many of them are happy with the way their body looks. An even smaller portion. And to be completely honest, maybe none at all.

I look around the room and pick out the fittest people, or the happiest people, or the fittest and happiest people in an attempt to gauge who falls into the category of being happy with the way that they look. In the yoga studio I see a lot of people with awesome bodies. But the thing is, no one is perfect. The people who have bodies that I think are awesome probably have a thing or two that they don’t like about the way that they look, and chances are they have a few pounds they’re trying to lose or body parts they want to tone up.

That’s the sad thing about living in this image-driven world – we can be entirely perfect and beautiful in a stranger’s eyes, but in our own eyes we pick ourselves apart. We might be healthy, active, fit and attractive, but we are always going to find that one thing about ourselves that we don’t like. And if we fix that, we will already be focusing on the next issue.

I often do this weird thing where I think about if I had to choose to be in another person’s body in the room, whose would it be? Then I go through my analysis again: physical fitness, level of happiness, level of comfort in their body. I usually try to pick someone who is smiling, laughing or comfortably interacting with other people in the room. There are some people with rock solid abs and not an ounce of fat on their body, but sometimes there’s an undeniable intensity in their eyes that makes me wonder if they are content with themselves or if they are terribly unhappy.

I think we should all challenge ourselves to let those judgments of ourselves go. Problem is, we have already established how hard that it is to do. So I pose this test to you: view yourself from someone else’s eyes. Look at yourself as the stranger in the yoga room sees you, or the girl on the sidewalk or the new co-worker you haven’t gotten the chance to know yet. See yourself from the eyes of a stranger, a loved one, or an old friend. See it all. Tell yourself you can be that person that someone else chooses to be. Because you are happy, healthy, friendly and confident. Not because you have a perfect body.

Let’s be honest, we aren’t going to be happy with ourselves 100% of the time. I’m admitting this as someone who prioritizes health and exercise above most things in life. It’s just the truth. You’ve got to be realistic and set achievable goals for yourself if you want to reach them. And once you do that, you can begin the process of falling in love with yourself.

Next time you look in the mirror, I challenge you to pretend you are seeing yourself for the first time. Pretend you have one shot to make an impression on yourself. How would you carry yourself? What would you want to see?

I posted a photo of my breakfast this morning, which was a peach, date, banana, honey and granola smoothie (it was delicious). I picked a cool filter, wrote a snappy little caption, and traipsed into a yoga class, all the while blissfully unaware that while I was zenning out Moksha style, there was a heated debate brewing in the comments of my photo. When I got out, I had texts from friends and family gently suggesting that I do something about the argument that had now tainted my cute peach smoothie pic.

While I understand that some ethical vegans do not consider honey “vegan” under the traditional guidelines, I was pretty shocked to read that some people equated my usage of honey to eating meat or fish. I am all about answering friendly questions and quelling innocent confusion, but flat out judging someone for the way they choose to eat is the exact opposite of what my page, and my lifestyle, is all about. I am not trying to reprimand anyone here, but rather softly recommend that if you are someone who is so gung-ho about the way you eat that you are going to look down upon others for their choices, my blog is not the place to be.

In response to the debate, a couple of my followers raised the point that when people try to hold others to a set of “vegan guidelines,” it turns people off from the vegan lifestyle in general. I had a similar experience a few months back when I promoted a friend of mine on my page who makes delicious smoothies and healthy meals – a couple of people went to her page, saw that she ate fish, and came to me upset that I promoted her. I was disheartened back then, as I am now, because no one should be judged for their choices. ESPECIALLY if they are healthy choices!

I strive for my page to be a place where others can gain inspiration to lead a healthier lifestyle while still eating yummy foods. I am vegan, and I am OK with the usage of honey when it is produced in a humane manner. If you disagree with that, I think we should agree to disagree. The variety of beliefs and choices in this world is a beautiful thing – and I completely respect any and all points of view. There is a claim to be made for either side.

I thought this quote was a beautiful reminder of what my blog, and my lifestyle, is all about: “don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.” This quest for optimal health begins and ends with you – inside of your own body, your own mind and your own spirit. You don’t have to answer to anyone else. What works for me may not work for you, but we can still feed off of each other and gain inspiration and motivation.

I am vegan for a whole boatload of reasons (I would be happy to elaborate on this if anyone is curious!) but my most crucial reason, and the reason that is most dear to my heart, is because it makes my body feel amazing. I feel healthy, light, glowing, energetic, empowered, happy and fit. I am confident, secure and passionate about my lifestyle.  I love to inspire and gain inspiration. I LOVE converting people to veganism and helping others dabble in it. I love hearing about why people choose to eat the way they do, and I love bringing awareness to healthful eating and a balanced way of life.

If you have ever been a situation where you have been judged for doing something you believe in, I hope you found some consolation in this post. I am not angry or upset with anyone, but after careful reflection upon the negativity I received this morning, I thought this was the perfect opening to state and reiterate what TBV is all about: loving yourself, and finding what works best for you. Because I may be blonde and I may be vegan, but first and foremost I am an individual.

On the topic of honey itself… you can read my last post (raw chocolate almond butter cups!) to see the nutritional benefits and to read about why I still consider eating honey “vegan.” If you are still not satisfied, agave is a great alternative! I use agave in lots of recipes.

In other news, I could not be happier or more excited with things that are going on right now. I am LOVING living in NYC, my best friend moved in with me today, I have had some super inspirational meetings and get-togethers with awesome like-minded individuals in the city, I start my creative writing graduate program next Monday, I have found a beautiful yoga studio near me that I enjoy, and I am feeling more stimulated and passionate about life, love and blogging than ever before

It’s a beautiful day, and I hope you are all feeling it too! Xo