I was laying in bed reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle, halfway trying to ignore the searing pain pulsing through every muscle, joint, and bone of my body. Halfway feeling the pain’s presence, always feeling its presence because it is always, always there. It felt so blissful to rest, like really rest. For once even though I was in excrutiating pain my nervous system somehow felt comfortable and relaxed, and I allowed my entire being to breathe deeper and sink into my pillowy bed.

Despite feeling relaxed, in the back of my mind there is always one thing blaring loud and clear: I’m sick, I’m sick, I’m sick, I’m in pain, this is not normal, will this ever end, how will I go on like this, suck it up, you have to deal with it, this is your reality. On a never ending loop.

This prolonged quarantine time has been interesting for me with Lyme disease because all I have hoped for and fantasized about with my schedule for the last handful of years has kind of come true (in a weird way)… having nowhere to be, with no additional pressure to be “on” or to say yes to things that my body in many ways just cannot and will not do.

Now with starting to be out and about again a bit more and re-entering the world in my own way, my body is on high alert. I feel exhausted all over again, without the exhaustion ever having gone away in the first place.

And when I say exhausted I don’t just mean tired… I mean like ravished deep in my bones exhaustion, impossible to lift an arm for a glass of water, bone deep, crushing fatigue. It is terrifying. Do I talk about it a lot? No. Do you see it on my social media when I am laughing and jogging with my husband and recording podcasts and trying to be a functioning human adult? No. But is it there, behind my smile, every waking second? …Yeah.

So you can imagine my shock when I got to a passage in Glennon’s book where she writes about her first encounter with Elizabeth Gilbert. Two of my favorite writers, so first of all it is my nerdy author dream to think about them meeting let alone lay my eyes on what the passage actually said!!

In the passage Glennon describes their first conversation, when Liz asked her what brought her to Naples, Florida. Glennon’s response is, “I got neurological Lyme disease a few years ago. My entire body shut down, and I was in bed for two years and popping fifty pills a day. I went to stay in my friend’s place in Naples, and I felt so much better. I moved there temporarily, and I was able to ditch the pills, so I just stayed. I’ve always known I wanted to live by the beach. I guess women have to almost die before we give ourselves permission to live how we want.”

I GUESS WOMEN HAVE TO ALMOST DIE BEFORE WE GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION TO LIVE HOW WE WANT.

UMMMM !!!! GLENNON !! HELL TO THE YES.

You guys, I was shook. I am still shook.

First of all, I did not know that Glennon had suffered from neurological Lyme. I have been a fan of her writing for years, but I somehow missed this key piece of info. Secondly, this line of writing spoke to my very core in a way that is truly indescribable.

The Messy Truth

Those of you who have followed me throughout my Lyme journey, and even before I got sick with Lyme, have witnessed my unbecoming. I am not who I once was. I have had a handful of near death experiences being sick, but none of those quite come close to feeling half dead every single day of my life.

I know, it’s depressing. I wish it weren’t true and I hate writing it. It’s just a fact. And while I really dislike being anything but positive and optimistic with you guys, as my dear friend Biet Simkin reminded me the other day, “Babe, feel it all. You are not a robot.”

When I showed Jonathan that line about having to almost die before giving myself permission to live how I want to live he instinctively said, “No, that’s not you,” at the thought. And I said, “…Yes it is.” And trust me, I get it!! It is so f*cking hard for the people who love us and show up for us every day and see us at our best, our worst, and everything in between to accept how much pain we are really in. Because to accept it means feeling the hurt too.

I would hate to know anyone I loved was in this much pain. But reading Glennon’s book is reminding me that pain is beautiful. Pain is feeling. Pain is human.

This year in particular I have gone through a lot of phases in relation to Lyme. I have experienced the “I am not going to talk about being sick anymore and I regret ever sharing about Lyme on my blog / social media at all” phase to the “I refuse to be sick and I will only acknowledge my good days both publicly and privately” phase to the “I am doing one more goddamn treatment for Lyme if it’s the last thing I do and then I am done treating it and living in the hell of it forever” to “okay I actually feel like scum of the earth and as a Reflector being I can’t keep this to myself anymore no matter how much I try” and so many other phases. On and on. Another loop.

Anyway, in reading that line I really broke down. I tend to look at everyone I admire (Glennon Doyle being way high on that list) and think, “What an awesome, amazing, inspiring life. If only I had that kind of energy. I miss having that kind of energy. Will I ever have the energy to be a real human again?”

So reading that she, Glennon Doyle, one of my biggest inspirations and one of the world’s most powerful women no doubt, had to overcome the same Lyme-sick exhaustion I am now having to overcome… that hit me right in the heart. And it affirms so much to me — I really feel that we get sick in order to be woken up. Spiritually, emotionally, psychically, all of it. And if you know much about Glennon then you know she is spiritually AWAKE and living her best, most aligned, most human, most real and raw and messy-beautiful life.

I have given myself permission to do a lot of things since getting sick. Like SLOW WAY DOWN, take so much more time for myself, say “no” to things it previously would have horrified me to say no to, cuddle Hudson for hours upon waking up rather than jump right into “being productive,” take several baths a day, focus on the integrity of my brand vs. growing a large company, do a lot lot lot less… but I really have so much more to do on this front.

There is so much I yearn for that I am not currently doing. Writing this soul-deep kind of stuff is one of those things. But if I were to really look in the mirror and ask myself what I still need to give myself permission to do … a lot of things would come right up.

So today Glennon Doyle inspired me to share the truth with you guys. Because positivity is great but honesty is so, so much greater. The truth is…

Some days I am just not okay. Some days I am really, really, really not okay. I worry constantly that this pain will never go away, that I will never again have the energy to spend an entire day out of bed without wanting to gauge my eyes out, that I can go to a family event and not have to curl up on the couch watching everyone talk and spend time together and wonder how they do it… how they have the energy to be in their bodies, present, like living life ain’t no thang.

I wonder if I will ever be able to make plans without having to worry that I’ll have to cancel them, or the much deeper stuff like what kind of mom I will be able to be or how my body will handle being pregnant in the hopefully near-ish future if I can’t even handle the way I feel right now. I also wonder when my stomach will not feel like it has daggers piercing my intestines every time I eat or even look at food?

It’s a lot of worrying, I know. Sometimes I put the worrying away and live in the moment and go on a magical walk with a friend and it feels great. Sometimes I just don’t have that luxury. Some days are great, some days I really feel amazing. I choose to share those days with all of you, and I am happy to do that because it gets me through the harder days.

The truth is… messy. If I were to tell you the whole truth it would fill up pages and pages and pages of a whole book. That is my plan.

In the meantime, trying to tell the truth via one Instagram post, blog post, or email newsletter is just… hard. It feels incomplete. But I guess that is what happens when you commit to sharing your soul with the world. It is always going to feel a bit incomplete and then these heart spill moments will give some insight into what’s going on on a deeper level.

I do feel on the precipice of something deeper, a new level of unbecoming. It has been knocking on my door for a while. It HURTS. It is probably why I find myself crying every day lately, why the ache of it all feels so much stronger than it usually does. I am face to face with it. That’s the real, not fun, but real truth.

I have so much more to say, but I hope my little truths today can spark some awareness or at least some inspiration to face your own truths. In the midst of everything going on in the world right now, I know we are all feeling hard. The truth can be difficult, messy, and feel a bit impossible sometimes. But the beauty is that we are never alone.

Thank you Glennon for reminding me that I am not alone even when I feel like I am the only freaking person in the world who feels the way that I do. I will be manifesting the same wide open awareness to live the exact life I want to be living. Thank you for inspiring me.

I hope so much that I can do the same for you, my sweet reader. I love you all so much. XO

I want to say time flies, but I also feel like I’ve been doing this all of my life. The crazy thing is, even before I had this blog I was “blogging” for as long as I can remember.

The other day I dug up my old health and fitness blog called “Jordan Health & Fitness” (lol) that I created in college to share healthy recipes, workouts, musings about staying healthy in college and finding the best yoga studios in LA and stories from being the Director of Health & Fitness of my sorority, Alpha Phi.

I barely remembered that I’d had it because it’s always just felt like second nature to me to live this healthy lifestyle but to share what I’m doing and learning. Before that blog, I had “Meanwhile in Florence…” which was a travel blog about my study abroad experience in Italy and our travels. I remember pressuring myself to write 8,000+ word posts so I wouldn’t leave out a single detail of our experiences there which also made blogging very tedious and not so fun…. LOL.

Not to mention, the hosting sites of my old blogs were not great (I had no idea what I was doing back then!!) so it took some SERIOUS digging to even find them!! The Florence one is gone but I remember that one fondly because I felt like such a serious “blogger” and shared every post to my Facebook, MySpace, all the places.

Speaking of MySpace… before I even started blogging I was a HUGE MySpace girl. I took it extremely seriously to decorate my page, learn all the codes and hacks to have the best colors, fonts, music, artsy photos, massive Top 8 (mroe like Top 50 with all of the hacks and codes I used), and I took it upon myself to ~*tYpE LiKe tHiS aLL oF tHe TiMe bC iT wAs tHe COoLLLL tHiNg 2 Do!!!!!*~

And pre-MySpace, it was Buddy Profiles on AIM. PLEASE tell me someone remembers this!!! Same thing there, I learned all of the backend coding so that I could use the rarest fonts and rainbow colors. I used Dashboard Confessional and Taking Back Sunday quotes in my bio and away messages like it was my job. And I think I left my AIM screen up 24/7 with various detailed away messages so I could always share what I was doing or what was on my heart.

Am I crazy or is that… BLOGGING?!??! IT ISSSSSS.

So that’s why when I say I have been blogging for 7 years but it feels like a lifetime, it really started in 4th grade when my brother made me my @jojoyounger screenname for AOL. I vividly remember only one or two of my friends had a screenname or even an email address at that time (Eleni and Kayla, I am looking at you) so I would message my friends’ parents on there just to utilize my AOL messenger.

It’s wild looking back at it all. Now that I know my Human Design (REFLECTOR !!) I know that I was living my best Reflector life all along. It has always brought me so much joy to share my life and my heart with the people around me, whether no one was reading or now, hundreds of thousands of you.

Which brings me to my next point — THANK YOU.

I may have been blogging for a lifetime before TBB, but it’s you guys that have made TBB what it is. A community, a place to share our hearts, a hub for spirituality and wellness and going deep, a brand that has ranged from a clothing line, to books, ebooks, an APP, events, a podcast, retreats, Facebook groups, courses, and of course the forever mothership — THE BLOG.

I am forever grateful I started this blog (really originally my Instagram account) sitting in an airport in Maui on June 18th, 2013.

I was a brand new college graduate in love with the vegan lifestyle, and the vegan blogging community was JUST starting to get a bit popular and a select few people were sharing recipes and musings on Instagram. I had this thought while I was in Hawaii that I could do the same thing. I had plenty of food photos on my phone, I loved creating recipes, food styling, teaching people how to live healthier, and of course I loved sharing my life.

So boom, on a whim, @theblondevegan was created. I spent the summer creating content all day every day. It was a DIE HARD passion from Day One. A few months into it I decided to write a Facebook post asking if anyone I knew could help me create a website… and I got a message from a guy I went to college with saying he could do it.

We kind of dated for a bit   and he took it upon himself to be sort of a business advisor on top of building my website. He saw the blog traffic on the very first day and said, “Jo… You know you could make money off of this? We should put ads on your website.”

So we did and the revenue was super minimal but I was not in it for the money and keep in mind the blogging industry as we know it wasn’t even close to existing quite yet. I was just thrilled to get free vegan protein powders and was stunned every time someone new found my blog and told me it was impacting their life for the better.

Then the same guy who built my website came to visit me in NYC and gave me a real talk about how people were kind of starting to blog for a living. I couldn’t believe it. I had JUST committed to grad school for creative writing and was halfway into my first semester… but the only thing I could focus on was my blog already. Now someone was telling me I could actually do this for work AND fun?

I finished out my first year of grad school but the rest was history. I was hooked. By that time I had created vegan cleanse programs and we had launched our first batch of TBV Apparel t-shirts. If you weren’t here back then, think cheeky health-related sayings on shirts which may be a-plenty now, but back then let me tell you they were very original. “Health is the New Black,” “Yoga Junkie, and “Oh KALE Yeah!” Were some faves.

I could tell you my blogging story forever. I plan on writing a book about it one day soon, because this blog has been my baby and has gone through so many iterations. I’ve seen the industry flourish and then blow up during these 7 years, and it has been the coolest thing to be in it as it has grown. I fully believe that everything happens for a reason… and creating TBV (and then TBB) when I did has been nothing short of one of the top two greatest gifts in my life (number one being J + Hud obvi).

So let’s get into 7 things I have learned in 7 years of blogging!!

1. The best things are born out of pure passion. This blog was created not for the sake of creating a career or even growing an audience, but to share what I love most- health, fitness, spirituality, and my heart. I have seen many blogs come and go because they aren’t rooted in that passion. I heard something lately that said, “Brands have to have a SOUL. If they don’t, they won’t last.” That is the ultimate truth, and TBB will always have a living, breathing soul of its own – which is my proudest accomplishment of all.

2. You never have to do what everyone else is doing. Actually, it’s even better if you don’t. I have done things quite differently than a lot of other bloggers in the sense that right out of the gate I tried a LOT of things— having managers, agents, employees, business partners, so many ventures, I was really all over the place and so excited to be living this entrepreneurial life. Over the years I have REIGNED it in. And now I keep things very tight around here, I really only work with family and a select few people on TBB. My goal is not to have a huge office of people but rather to keep things true to how they started. That is what makes me happy and that’s what I focus on building upon every day.

3. Let your blog grow WITH YOU!!! I can’t even begin to name the ways I have changed and evolved over the years. I went from a passionate diehard vegan to non-vegan and back to veganism, but in the process I have changed. I have opened up psychically, gotten married, and now I am freaking 29 vs. 23 when I started. In short… everything has changed, and my blog has grown right along with me. Have I lost so many followers and readers along the way because I am not who I once was? YES. Is that okay? Yes. I believe our true audience and who needs to be here reading will always find their way here.

4. Breaks are good. When I first started blogging it was all about working 24/7 and never taking a break. I would stay up all night creating content and forego many, many other things in my life to be “on” all the time at events, festivals, traveling for work, photo shoots etc. etc. A few years ago I realized that wasn’t a life I wanted to continue living, and I made some changes. I never again want to work my ass off at the expense of missing important events and memories in my close circle’s life. Oh and the real breaks I have taken for my health have been GOLDEN.

5. It’s okay to pivot. I used to be so afraid that if I switched up my content in a big way people wouldn’t be into it anymore. It turns out, you guys are the freaking best and we have developed such a friendship over the years — many of you are here for it all, and you are ON THIS JOURNEY with me. When I pivot, many of you are pivoting in your lives at the same time. I am really just sharing the journey that so many of us are currently on and if I tried to keep it the “same” as the past it wouldn’t be true to reality.

6. Long term partnerships with brands you love are the JAM versus one off things. For a while I did a lot of one off partnerships, many with brands I loved and many with brands that I wasn’t so into. It was a nice way to make $$ for a while but there is no soul in doing that. Now, I am only interested in creating lasting, real partnerships with brands I love that have to meet certain super specific criteria. For a few years now I have seen the importance of the long game vs. the short game, which also helps keep the brand true to its core vs. ever being about $$.

7. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE AUDIENCE!! You guys are my true friends from all over the world. I mean it when I say that you guys feel like my best friends who know me inside and out. When I meet you guys out in public sometimes people say, “I hope this isn’t weird but I really feel like I know you so well,” and I always say “YOU DO!!” The Internet is a wild place but it is a beautiful place too. At the end of the day you guys have made this blog what it is — a brand with readers — so thank you, I love you, I am always here for you and right there with you.

Wow. HEART SPILLLLLL. AHHHHH!!! Pleeeeease tell me below how long you’ve been here, how you found me, your thoughts on this story, all of it!!! TBB Tribe is my heart and soul. Cheers to 7 more years and beyond, and to continuing to grow TBB right alongside of me. Maybe in 7 years I will be mommy blogging ?!?! But I will never lose the core and foundation of where this all started. Love you all HUGELY. Thank you.

Okay, so this isn’t MUCH of a dilemma if you don’t care that much about social media. But if you’re a blogger, you should care about social media. Unless you’re Emily Schuman or something, in that case — your blog readership is set regardless of your social media presence.

For those of us who started blogging post-2009 (which, I’m willing to say, is most of us…) then the aesthetic and vibe of our social media matters a LOT when it comes to driving readers to our blog.

Our Instagram accounts, and also Snapchat, Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, and others to some extent; are a huge reflection of what our blogs are all about.

If you’re a food blog, you’re in luck. All of your food photos will probably flow nicely together as long as you have some nice backgrounds and an eye for photography and food styling. If you’re a fashion blog, you’re also in luck. Your style will attract a certain type of curated audience and they will keep coming back for more because they love the way that you dress, and you can even throw in some fun quotes and scenery without it being totally out of place.

In other words, for those types of blogs, it’s EASY to stay consistent. The challenge might be staying innovative and keeping things fresh and exciting… but even so, your Instagram feed (and all other social channels as well) will reflect what your blog is all about — so you will keep on gaining followers and traction at a steady rate. You KNOW what will keep your audience engaged.

The LIFESTYLE bloggers:

Then there are those of us who don’t always blog about something so specific. I mean yeah, I write about health & lifestyle. I do healthy recipes, shoot some vids here and there, am a total fitness fanatic, am a sucker for the beachy-gypsy-wanderlusty travel lifestyle pics, love a good selfie, and like to share my IN THE MOMENT real life with you guys.

My Instagram photos & videos now range from yoga flows in my living room to super styled and very curated photo shoots for brands that I work with to post-workout sweaty selfies to long-as-can-be captions about what I am feeling in the moment.

You know, like this…

You see, I’ve found myself in a dilemma. But I also kind of love the dilemma for other reasons. I’m torn, you guys!

I want to have a beautifully curated Instagram feed. I want the photos to flow super well together and have the artistic aesthetic of Marianna Hewitt‘s Insta or the super reliable consistency of Chocolate Covered Katie‘s.

When I give advice to new bloggers, I tell them to BE CONSISTENT and give their audience the type and style of content that they followed them for in the first place.

But I also want to switch things up and keep things unpredictable and fresh. I want my social accounts, sort of like this blog, to have a “reality show” feel and vibe. NOT in the “famous for being famous” reality show way… but the very open, sharing my life, letting you guys know what I am up to every day kind of way.

And with that, there comes a lot of variety. No two days are the same. Try as I might, I don’t always have that killer white & grey marble slab with me for food photos. And I don’t always have the most kickass lighting for my yoga videos. I also like to throw in a few spur-of-the-moment ‘WHAT UP, GUYS?’ photos when I am feeling most inspired, which most definitely don’t always have a professional quality to them.

On the flip side, I love the creative side of curating a beautiful, perfectly flowing Instagram feed. I love high quality imagery, and I love capturing the perfect yoga photo on the beach at sunset with my fave photographers. I love being super, duper proud of the quality of a food photo I capture for a brand, and I love sharing the art of photography with you guys who are following.

SO, that is why I am in a perpetual dilemma! Do I keep sharing pure, un-curated, in the moment reality with you guys, or do I exercise some self-restraint (which I’m bad at) and JUST post the beautiful images with the best lighting even if inspiration strikes in between?

I think I know the obvious answer to this. Inspiration should never be ignored.

And I feel LUCKY, beyond lucky, to feel so inspired in the job that I do.

Just like beautiful, aesthetically jaw-dropping photography inspires me to no end, sharing REAL, authentic, & raw moments in real-time inspires me.

This was a good example of in the moment sharing, but also something I found super beautiful and wanted to share for that moment too:

That’s why when you go to my social media accounts these days (and this blog), you see a medley. High quality photos that have days and hours of prep work behind them & an experienced photog behind the lens — and hopefully when looking at them you feel a little bit of the magic that sparks within ME and the photographer when we nail that perfect shot.

That’s what I want when I share those photos. I want you to feel the magic, and I want the inspiration I feel to radiate back to you and make you inspired in your own life, and in your own way.

Like this shoot for Alo Yoga with my BFF Lex & BFF behind the lens Danika:

Similarly, you’ll see a grainy video of me DRIPPING sweat in a yoga class, and you’ll also hear some bomb-ass music playing along with the video because there’s almost nothing I love more these days than finding the perfect song to accompany my yoga flow vids.

And starting on Thursday, you’ll be along for the ride with me as I travel to Kauai for 8 days and capture the beauty around me in ALL sorts of ways. With my GoPro, my Canon 6D, my iPhone, my Snapchat story, my iPhone video (grainy at times I’m SURE), my mom’s Nikon, allllll of it.

Because I love switching it up. I LOVE staying inspired and making sure things never get dull. Not for me, and not for you guys. I want to keep it fresh and exciting always.

So, WHY is it a dilemma then?

So yeah, because of the lack of total consistency, I don’t see the steady, predictable rise of my social following the same way I used to. When I used to be very consistent with the same style of food photo 3 times a day, I knew how many followers I’d gain per week no matter what. Now I am more likely to LOSE & gain the same amount of followers per day, because not everyone is in it for the full lifestyle.

But I am interested in sharing my lifestyle above all else. The good days and the bad. The ordinary and the extraordinary. The AWESOME quotes, songs, fitness routines, recipes, outfits, moments, all of it. ALL of it.

But I promise I am still a creative nutcase and still have an aesthetic vision for everything I do.

Don’t you worry about that.

This is where I see social media moving. We want realness. We CRAVE realness.

Just tryin’ to bring dat to all of you.

What do you think? Have you noticed a change in my social media aesthetic over the years, or did you not really notice because you’ve just been along for the ride? If you blog, how do you curate YOUR social media? Heck, even if you don’t blog, how do you like to make your Insta feed look?!

XO,

TBB

Hashtag #TBBMADEMEDOIT on Instagram if you agree!!

ALSO, if you like this kind of content, you can preorder my Going Viral: A Guide to Becoming the Boss of Your Own Life, & Turning Your Blog Into a Business eBook HERE!!

Hey beauties. If you follow this bloggy on a regular basis, then you’ve probably noticed I’ve been a little MIA lately. A post here, a post there, a vacation here, a vacation there… And sometimes a week or so between posts.

In an ideal world, I’d like to post every day of the week. In a realistic yet still pretty ideal world, I like to post every day Monday through Friday! In my current world, I have been posting 1-2 times a week for the last month or so. See how that compares to what I WANT to be doing? Yikes…!

Well here’s why, in a nut shell:

I am SUCH an all-or-nothing person (this is why I’m the balanced blonde… because every day I strive for balance. STRIVE, not necessarily achieve, lol) that it’s really, really, really hard for me to pour my full energy into a bunch of things at once. I can handle it when they’re all interconnected– like the bloggy, TBV Apparel, my cleanse programs, my book, my YouTube channel, my new #TBBTribe newsletter (so stoked on this BTW), ya know. That kind of stuff.

But when I start doing a whole lot of things that don’t fall under the same semi-similar umbrella, it’s really hard for me to juggle. Exhibit A: I have been apartment hunting for the last week or so, and it has absolutely consumed me. I have hardly been able to eat or sleep or even shower (I’m weird, I know, I have issues), and I have gone days without exercising or making time for myself. I know it probably sounds silly to those of you who are able to focus on a bunch of things at once & don’t get so extreme about things, but for people like me it is TOUGH to have such a huge, unresolved, pressing issue on your plate that you can’t immediately handle.

I like to solve things and make them better immediately. RIGHT away. It’s probably a method of deflecting but I’ll deal with that eventually, lol. I also have super high standards for myself & where I want to live, so those two contrasting things started driving me MENTAL.

On top of it, I’ve also had lots of fun free-lance projects, cool TBV Apparel happenings & a few little mini-vacays. Between all of that, when I sat down to blog I. Couldn’t. Do. It. I couldn’t muster the creative energy or sense of self that I need to actually write passionately to you guys and let it flow.

Annddddd I’m never going to half-ass anything with my bloggy blog, so I kind of took a mini hiatus.

But here’s the good news. The really good & exciting & actually kind of freaky (I’ll tell you why) news… I found an apartment that has everything I am looking for, and I put my application in this morning! I am a notoriously picky person. VERY picky. Like I said, very high standards. My intern Danika gave me the most wonderful, yet unintentional, compliment a couple of days ago. She told me that I never settle for things that don’t make me extremely happy. Apartments included. And not even “settle,” but basically I can’t function if things are not 100% the way I want them to be. So even though it consumed my whole entire being for a fretful week or so, that’s okay because I came out with a place I love a lot.

I find out for sure if I get the apartment or not on Monday, but I have a pretty good record soooo I think they’ll be okay with me. Unless of course they realize my whole life is available to read on the Internet and then I’m just doomed.

Jk. I’m still pretty darn innocent.

FREAKY STORY!!!

Anyyyywayy… Let me tell you what’s FREAKY about this apartment. When I lived in Italy coming up on four years ago, a lot of interconnected things started happening with the number 201. Every hotel I stayed in, I was put in room #201. Every hostel, #201. My apartment in Florence, #201. My bar tab, $20.10. I would look up while I was walking out of the blue and see huge painted numbers of 201 everywhere. Several times a day. 2:01a.m. or p.m. both times a day too. WEIRD. And my best friend & Italy roomie Clare had the same experience. (Well, we were together the whole time so of course we both did.) Also, once we put it together we realized we had both lived in two separate room #201’s our sophomore year of college too.

When I returned to the states to finish the rest of college, it kept happening. Everywhere I went I saw 201’s. Especially when something big was happening in my life. When I was in the cab about to appear on Good Morning America to discuss my transition from veganism, I saw a huge painted 201 directly outside of the building I was walking into. It felt like such a sign, even though I didn’t know what exactly it meant. When it came time to move back to LA from NYC, I knew the situation was right when my friend Laura had an open bedroom in her apartment for me… Apartment #201. Last year, when my grandpa was moved into the dependent wing of his retirement home, he was in room 201, RIGHT after I finished telling my dad about all of my freaky 201-ness at 2:01p.m. For real.

I see it everywhere to this day, and everyone around me knows it because I can’t help but point it out. It’s awesome because good things always seem to happen to me at 2:01, both a.m. and p.m. So here’s the freaky thing…

I have toured a LOT of apartments in the last several days. I mean a lot. I have hardly even looked at the apartment numbers and addresses because they literally all blend together at this point. When I set foot into the apartment I ended up falling in love with and put an application in for today, I didn’t even notice at first… Then, as I was walking out to check out the hallway, I saw it.

2 0 1.

Apartment number two, zero, freaking ONE.

I couldn’t help but gasp and then flip a shit. The realtor wasn’t sure what to do. I could hardly get my words out to explain what an INSANE coincidence it was, and that I had to have the apartment immediately.

“You don’t get it, this apartment, this number… I ALWAYS LIVE IN 201’s. ITS MY LUCKY NUMBER. This is weird. This is weird. This is so weird. I knew I loved it. I mean… I have to have it. I need this apartment.”

He definitely thought I was certifiably insane (I know this because in the end he told me so), and I knew I was walking away with a damn good apartment.

That’s another reason why I know that even though I don’t hear back until Monday, it is going to work out. I just have a feeling. And immediately, everything feels so much lighter and so much more in place.

So now it’s time to start packing my stuff, organizing & MOVINGGGG from 201 to 201. I am staying in the same neighborhood, but now I will have my own apartment which will rock because I really do need my own space to do what I do. Work from home, blog, film vids, develop recipes… All that jazz.

So, please tell me. Do you have a weird, recurring number or situation in your life?! A lucky number, occurrence, person, place, thing? I need to know. I NEED to figure this out. If you are spiritual & know the meanings of numbers, living spaces, etc… Pleeeease share. I am curious for some answers, and more than tempted to get the numbers tattooed on my body because there is an outer force telling me that these numbers are a part of me!!

Then I go on to explain that I basically write in an online diary for a living, and what I usually focus on is health, living a balanced lifestyle, fitness, yoga, organic food & pretty much any/all details from my life, musings and travels. I understand that my response can be a little, uh, vague… And that it takes a solid five-minute explanation at least before people even begin to say, “Ohhh, NOW I get it.”

That’s the funny thing about being a lifestyle blogger. I’m not solely a food blogger where I can just say that I make recipes, photograph them and post about them for a living (although that is how my blog began, funny enough), and I’m not a fashion blogger which is another type of blogging people seem to be a little more readily understanding and aware of.

Plus, I get to make fun videos & be my totally dorky self while I’m at it.

I am a medley! My day to day is really, reaaalllly different from one to the next, and while some days I am so busy I can’t not work from dawn until the wee hours of the night… Some days I basically get to chill, work out, hang out with cool people and call it a day. If my job is only just beginning to make sense to me, how can I really explain it to other people and expect them to understand it?

Well, today I’m going to try to give you a little lowdown about some things that I’ve learned from living #thebloglife that will hopefully give you some more insight into this wonderful lil’ part of the Internet that I inhabit — along with hundreds & hundreds & hundreds of other killer bloggers.

What I’ve Learned from Living the Blog Life…

1. Just because I don’t have a traditional 9-5 doesn’t mean that my schedule is a free-for-all. One of the biggest misunderstandings about blogging is that we are flooded with free time and once our blog post is written for the day we can pretty much do whatever we please. All too often I am met with a, “Yeah right,” kind of response when I tell someone that I’m not available to meet for lunch or a workout class during the workday because I’m working. “Ugh, you work for yourself, what are you talking about?” is the typical misconception. In fact, I learned this the hard way! I used to pack my schedule with lunch dates and mid afternoon yoga classes, only to feel constantly behind and kind of stuck in my head when I was doing these other things. Now I’ve learned to treat my schedule the way I would as if I were working for someone else– working during the day is the priority. Unless I wanna be up all night and/or stressed to pieces, the workday is for working.

2. If I don’t hustle & stay on top of things, nothing will get done. And when I say “nothing,” that’s exactly what I mean… Nothing. There is no one else to pick up the slack when I get off track. Yes, I have help with TBV Apparel, securing blog partnerships, scheduling, staying on top of my book deadlines, photography, etc., BUT if I am not doing the work that needs to be done before any of my TBB Team can step in and help — then there is nothing to help with. When I am on vacation & I haven’t written any blog posts prior to leaving, no blog posts will go up. When I am sick and not in the mood to work on the book or develop a new recipe for it, it simply will not happen until I get it together and get the work done. If I don’t reach out to brands or brainstorm brands that I want to work with, then the $$ does not come in. Running a successful blog means always being on your toes, staying up on the latest brands, reaching out to brands, KNOWING what brands are a seamless fit with your blog, going to events, keeping your team close & on top of it, staying passionate and creative, etc. There isn’t a whole lot of downtime.

3. Inevitably, I end up surrounding myself with like-minded people who also blog. This isn’t always a given, but it’s crazy to think about how many of my close friends I have met through the blogging world. The people I generally spend a lot of time with during the weekdays (and weekends!) end up being other bloggers, and even the ones I have yet to meet in person feel like friends from afar. A couple of my very closest friends (Tara, Sophie & Lisa to name a few) I’ve met through the health blogosphere, and not only do I talk to them every day but we have a deep & lasting bond because of all of the work life experiences & passions that we share. Also, having a successful blog means lots and lots of fun collaborations, and if you aren’t surrounding yourself with other great bloggers to collab with, then that doesn’t happen! (Or it doesn’t happen organically, at least — I would much rather collaborate with friends than strangers!)

Two of my bloggin’ besties — Tara of TheWholeTara & Lisa of MindBodySwag

4. There CAN be such a thing as sharing “TOO much.” Alas, I never thought I’d say this, but it’s true. I share just about anything & everything that crosses my mind on the blog — all big life experiences, the bad & the good — but at times that has backfired on me. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to be an open book about my transition from veganism, but because I shared SO MANY personal details about my life before/during/after, people who did not support my decision dug up exact wording and phrases that I had used months/years prior about my stance on veganism when I was vegan. Also, there have been times that people who I am close to have found out about very key things in my life (my eating disorder, my book deal, some TV appearances…) via the blog and they have been hurt because of it. I have had to learn that some things I have to be careful about sharing, especially if I haven’t told friends/family beforehand.

5. When you make your life public, there will be criticism. This one I have definitely learned. I have heard everything in the book from being a fat cow to being anorexic to being a hypocrite who deserves to die (seriously?!?) to being someone who has no knowledge about nutrition or healthy living (funny). I have learned to roll with the punches & be okay with it, because I understand that it’s been my choice to put my life out there– for better or for worse. I will take the awesome support & the extreme fun-ness that comes from it any day and ignore the haters!

6. I get to do lots of cool things that sometimes kind of blow my mind. Sometimes it seriously shocks me that I get to be one of the first to try a new restaurant/hotel/clothing item/fitness class and that I frequently get the chance to meet (and oftentimes even interview) people that I have admired for years. I get to go to cool events and try awesome products all the time (my apartment is actually FLOODED with food/cosmetic products — my friends enjoy this very much). The perks continue to keep my on my toes and make all of the challenges VERY worth it– plus, I have always liked being “in the know,” and when you blog you have no choice but to stay on top of everything!

Sophie & I with the owner of Drenched Fitness co-owner/Flexline creator, Brian Kennington at the Women’s Health Drenched event last week!

7. There isn’t one area I can put all of my focus on — it’s a brand! I used to struggle between knowing which PART of my brand was the “most important” part. Is it the blog, the book, the app, the clothing line, the YouTube channel, the events, the health coaching, the travel?! What do I need to focus on in order to make this a lasting career?! And as time has gone on, I’ve come to learn… It’s the brand in itself. Being true to the brand and making sure it always represents my truth & my mission (balance, above all else) is my #1 job. If sometimes that means working for 28 hours straight, so be it. If sometimes that means taking a week off to be the best daughter/friend/aunt/sister I can be, then so be it. I roll with the tide… The way I’ve always worked best!

Last weekend’s YouTube filming with my Enjet Media crew

8. At the end of the day, I feel pretty damn fulfilled. I get to do what I love, and combine a LOT of things I love, on a daily basis. If that’s not fulfilling I don’t know what is.

Thoughts on blogging as a lifestyle? Have full-time bloggers schedules ever confused you? To my other bloggy peeps, what do you think about all this– do you agree?!