Health

What I Ate Wednesday: Recovery Style

August 13, 2014

Eek, it’s my first time participating in “What I Ate Wednesday” as a non-vegan. I used to be ALL about this thang when I was eating a plant-based diet. Big changes goin’ on over here! There’s a few reasons I haven’t participated in the last few months:

A) I was still getting used to my new diet and wasn’t super comfortable posting photos of non-vegan foods in fear of (more) backlash from the vegan community and also because this was a vegan food blog to begin with so initially I wasn’t sure how to build upon that.

B) In my recovery process I find myself taking fewer photos of my meals! I still photograph most of my good looking meals, which happen to be a ton of them, but I used to photograph from every angle, have friends shine lights on the food, etc. and now I kind of just go with the flow more. At the end of the week, I have a heck of a lot fewer photos to work with than I used to!

C) Paying distinct attention to everything I eat in a day isn’t exactly the healthiest way to recover from an eating disorder. I now feel much stronger than I did a couple of months ago when food gave me raging anxiety, and thinking about my next meal could have sent me into a serious panic attack. Now I am learning to let go and enjoy food a lot more, and also do a LOT less planning when it comes to what I eat in general. After a fun weekend eating out with my mom in town, I feel like it’s about time to hop back on the “WIAW” train and give you all a glimpse into my non-vegan recovering food life.

It feels good to be back on the WIAW wagon. Big thanks to Jenn for hosting! Ready? Here we go…!

What I Ate Wednesday: Recovery Style

My mom came to visit me in LA this weekend, which meant lots of eating out at yummy spots, lots of furniture shopping (furnishing the new apartment, woo!!) and laughing hysterically all weekend because that’s what we do together.

Breakfast:

Before I picked her up from the airport on Friday morning I ate this super delicious superfood oatmeal. The recipe is in my post from Friday. It’s definitely a new breakfast staple. So many nutrients packed into one filling little bowl!

Lunch:

After I picked her up we headed to the Brentwood Country Mart and shared a lovely lunch spread from the Farm Shop. We had organic free-range chicken breast, a corn and nectarine salad (YUM!), mushrooms and Brussels sprouts. Lots of plant-based goodness balanced out with some protein, and everything was local and bursting with flavor. Farm Shop is fabulous and it was so fun to show my mama one of my new neighborhood spots!

Snack:

While we were driving to Target (which ended up being a “City Target” a.k.a not even a full-sized version of Target which was so disappointing… who even knew those existed?) we passed a Penguins frozen yogurt shop. Penguins brings back so many memories for both of us – there was one right next to LMU where I went to college so I used to go all the time with my friends, and there was also one in my hometown that my mom used to go to longgg before I was even born. We decided it sounded delish and we were going to get some.

This might sound like not such a big deal to you at all. Because it really isn’t. But for me, this was kinda huge. I can’t even remember the last time I had an impromptu dessert (non-vegan, to boot!) in the middle of the day for fun. And it was so good! Worth every bite. Indulging is fab every once in a while and I am learning that more and more in my recovery process.

And now we made new fun memories there! That’s what food is all about afterall, isn’t it? Enjoying it with the people you love.

Dinner:

Okay, so dinner was a little trickier. I have gotten some feedback from readers lately that I may or may not tend to make recovery sound like it’s all sunshine and rainbows and a beautiful excuse for self-discovery. There is definitely that positive aspect to it, but most of the time it’s just hard and psychologically taxing. Dinner on Friday night was one of those experiences.

We met my aunt for dinner at Katsuya, a cute and super trendy sushi restaurant a few blocks from my apartment. After all the indulging from earlier in the day I was a little freaked about eating a regular meal, and to top it off I wasn’t even really hungry. (One of my biggest fears is eating when I’m not hungry and then throwing myself all out of whack.)

My aunt suggested that we all split a few dishes, but I quickly responded that I don’t do tempura dishes (fried food) and that the two of them should split and I would order my own thing. I ordered a kale and salmon sashimi salad that was a special on the menu, thinking it sounded great and balanced and nice and light.

Well, it came to the table, and the kale was fried in oil!! It was basically a plate of kale chips (super oily kale chips) with a little bit of salmon sashimi. I was horrified. But for some reason I wasn’t in the mood to send it back and I made up my mind I was going to eat it and deal with it. I suppose as far as recovery goes that was a good thing and I am proud of myself, but as far as my BODY goes… and I know my body and what works and doesn’t work… my stomach was writhing in pain for 48 hours after eating it.

Fried. In. Oil. Does not work for me.

But instead of obsessing and letting it ruin my weekend, I woke up the next morning and had another bowl of oatmeal. I was tempted to just juice or not eat anything until well into the day like I would normally do when feeling super gross after a meal… but I didn’t! And there’s where the growth came in.

PS… We’re goobers.

Superfood Oatmeal for Two (Yum!):

Quinoa Chicken Salad at Wood Ranch:

Iced Almond Milk Mocha at Axe:

Dungeness Crab Salad with Chili Lime Dressing at Axe:

Steel Cut Oats with honey & berries at The Coral Tree:

Strawberry Fields at the Brentwood Farmer’s Market:

The M Chopped Salad at M Café (Okay usually I love this place but this salad kind of tasted three days old…ew?):

What did your eats look like today / this weekend?! Any fun new indulgences or is that just me? 😉

31 comments

I Wanna Know what do you think?

Cancel reply

Jordan Younger

Aww, Samantha, that is the worst!! I completely understand the pain of having a seriously sensitive stomach. It can be so debilitating and so frustrating to deal with. Sending you so much love on your health journey.. you will certainly figure it all out and your body will be able to tell you what it needs to thrive. I will absolutely check out your blog post! So much love to you. Thanks a million for the kind words. Xoxox
Michele @ paleorunningmomma

I get that dealing with two different things that "throw you off" during the day must have been tough. Oil from restaurants seems to always bother my stomach, most likely because it's refined vegetable oil or whatever they use. I think for times when you KNOW something will make you sick it's more than okay to be a pest and send it back, although in the past I would just eat it and deal. I think everyone knows recovering is tough and there's nothing wrong with highlighting the positive points most of the time. But of course I think people also want to hear about the hard stuff, to make it more real and so they can relate. I know I'm a new reader but it looks like you're doing a great job and being honest with yourself about all of it. Thanks for sharing :)

Jordan Younger

I completely agree that when you KNOW something is going to bother your stomach or make you feel not your best than it is absolutely worth it to send it back. It's not worth the pain... especially when you are paying for it! I am so happy to have you as a new reader... it sounds like we have had a lot of similar struggles, and it's nice hearing more tidbits about your story and knowing that you understand! Xox

Corryne

This is an amazing "come back" post for WIAW! I happen to enjoy that you post the more positive aspects of your recovery because while it may not be all perfect, it gives everyone hope that there CAN be positive things to come from any situation. You and your mama are beauiful and I LOVE those glasses! I'm glad you're finding your niche and look forward to what's to come, you're such a big inspiration for me and my blog. Love it! -Corryne

Jordan Younger

Thank you so much, Corryne!!! That means the world to me. So thrilled that you are enjoying the positivity. It's certainly more fun to write about. And I love your blog name... yay for balance!! Xox

Lindsay

Yayyy you're back with wiaw! That kale salad does not look good! I hate sending food back - I always feel like a complete bitch if I do and I just blame myself for the way I ordered so I never complain. I went to a greek restaurant with my whole family in Chicago a few weeks ago and the veggies I ordered where so soaked in oil it was disgusting. I ended up just eating when I got home that night :/

Jordan Younger

Omg that is the worst!! I should've just not eaten the kale and ate more when I got home later... but I kind of forced myself to do it and while it sucked to pay for it for literally 48 hours afterward, the only good thing about it was that I know I am improving from my previously extreme rigidity. Normally I would have sent it back in a panic. So hey, baby steps, whatever they may be!!

Jenni

Jordan! I can't tell you how proud I am that you ate that kale at Katsuya and then ate a perfectly normal breakfast the next morning. My inclinations are always to "balance out" an unpleasant meal by restricting the next day, and that never brings positive results. These are seemingly small steps in your recovery that are actually SO huge, and I'm almost clapping in my seat right now. My indulgences weren't over the weekend, but came yesterday after we hung out and filmed our segment on Monday. I've been feeling really powerful since our talk, and decided that I needed to let go of fearing entire food groups. So I went out and bought some sprouted Ezekiel bread and allowed myself to eat gluten at breakfast yesterday. I haven't been allowing myself any grains at all, so that felt like a big change, even though it wasn't THAT long ago that I was still eating gluten. Funny how quickly a food group can become such a fear. I also had sushi with my mom and my brother last night, which I haven't done in forever. (Is this soy sauce GMO? Is this fish full of mercury? White rice!) I enjoyed it all and am so happy I'm challenging myself again. Meeting you and filming our Nightline segment has really empowered me to take recovery more seriously. Sometimes I forget that it's an EVERYDAY challenge I need to be working on. I'm thrilled your challenging yourself as well, and that we can challenge ourselves together! Let's go out for a yummy lunch pronto! <3

Jordan Younger

Jenni! Ah, everything about this comment MADE MY DAY. Yes to the fears of indulging and then the necessity to "balance out," yes to challenging yourself every single day and trying new things that scare you, yes to taking recovery more seriously and not allowing our EDs to take over our lives (at all), and YESSSS to trying gluten, white rice, soy sauce, fish, etc. Look at you go!! Isn't it crazy how sometimes talking with someone else who is in the same position and/or looking inward and beginning to ask yourself questions about your recovery and why you do the things you do can push your recovery so much further forward in such a short period of time?! I am so proud of you. Let's definitely go out for a yummy lunch ASAP... we deserve it. Let's try something wild! Xox

Linda @ Fit Fed and Happy

Your salads look the BEST!

Jordan Younger

Yes, salads are where it's atttt!! So glad you enjoy. :) xoxox

Nik

Good for you! I laughed out loud when you said you had indulged all day! You ate so healthfully and balanced! I REALLY think you are making your stomach pains worse with your mentality. Not on purpose but if you are anticipating and expecting and waiting for it and you do have stomach problems, it's gonna be a lot worse! The mind is so so powerful (which you obviously know!). Maybe talk to someone about it? I originally thought I was lactose intolerant when I started recovery from my ED and dropped my vegan ways but I introduced it little by little and eventually my stomach understood it wasn't bad! Great job and good luck! Your candid progress is refreshing

Jordan Younger

Thanks so much Nik!! So funny to hear that and thank you so much for sharing your honest views with me. I completely agree that I can be really hard on myself and it certainly affects my stomach. Believe it or not, this is the most relaxed I've been about food in YEARS! I am getting there, slowly but surely, and it feels really good to let up on that rigidity and many of my restrictions.

Jordan Younger

Thanks so much, babe!! Means the world to me that you understand that it took me several weeks to get comfortable again about posting my "new" eats!! SOOO true that it is so, so easy to focus on that one treat versus all of the great, healthy, balanced eats we are putting into our bodies the majority on the time. Ugh, oil is theeee worst. Xox to you!
Kim @ BusyBod

Super proud of you for how your recovery is coming along. As I'm sure you know already from the people you are working with, it's a lifetime process. That's part of the reason I quit doing WIAW altogether. By the time I started blogging, I was five years removed from the worst of my disordered days, but participating was just not the healthiest choice for me. Like you said, it encouraged me to focus on what I was eating and how much and how that would look to other people (does it look like I eat too much? too little? too unhealthy? too healthy? is it a genuine representation of how I eat?). It was too triggering. Actually a lot of things about blogging can be triggering. I had a hard time with it at first, but I've found a system that works for me so that being a part of this usually positive community doesn't drag up old demons.

Jordan Younger

Thank you so much, my lovely girl. It makes me feel really good to hear that I'm not the only one who couldn't exactly handle WIAW. It is very triggering!! I'm not sure if I will continue it or if I will just do it every so often or what... I kind of liked doing it and seeing how much my meals differ from the way they were in the midst of my ED (aka just drinking juice), but then again it's still a little obsessive. I am so happy to hear that you've found a system that works for you to ensure that blogging doesn't trigger any old habits or difficulties. Would love to hear some of your fav habits. Actually wait. I WANNA INTERVIEW YOU for the blog about them!!! Yes!! Emailing you right now.

Davida @ The Healthy Maven

a) I want your mom to adopt me b) If she does will I wake up with your perfect hair? (In my dreams!) c) your honesty is amazing. Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and eat the oil. It may suck at times but living a life of sending food back and wanting it all to be "perfect" isn't living at all! But you already know this! XO

Jordan Younger

a) my mom is super down to adopt you.. long lost sisters for real!, b) your hair is perfect just the way it is, c) couldn't agree MOOORE that sometimes you just gotta suck it up and eat the oil / whatever it is that you're kinda really freaked out about. d) come visit me in L A !!!

JanieY

Such a fun weekend!! Cannot wait to do it again soon!! Davida @ The Healthy Maven I'd love to adopt you!!
GiGi Eats

I CANNOT WAIT to take you to my FAVORITE sushi joint, cause it's x10 on Katsuya and 1/2 the price! :P :P

Jordan Younger

Really?!?! OMG we are going ASAP. Like the moment I get back from Nor Cal!

Arman @ thebigmansworld

Bravo buddy. I love your honesty and it's a stark contrast to many bloggers who make it out as though recovery is bloody sunshine and rainbows. Vegan rainbows. Anyway, keep November free cos this Aussie is hitting up LA. Boom.

Jordan Younger

Wait REALLY??! That just made my entire day (actually entire week). Keeping November free-er than free. Get ready for an epic time.

Allison

I had to stop and gawk at the oatmeal for a bit because I love golden raisins! I just love raisins in general. They're so sweet! I'm so happy that you're sharing what you're eating, because I'm super nosey and love looking at what other people are having hehe. Your mom is really quite stunning. The relationship you guys have makes me feel all warm and fuzzy -I can feel the love just looking at the photos! Impromptu desserts and almond milk coffee? I'm in! Just as an aside, I've definitely been trying to incorporate more balance into my life because of you. I had surgery in April, so the following year, I switched to a fully plant-based diet to relieve the pain -that the abdominal surgery relieved. I've now been able to incorporate eggs and some yogurt again. I was a little afraid that the pain would return (even though that technically wasn't possible after surgery!), but I still went through some emotions. Anyways, it's just really nice to be able to eat some foods again that made me uncomfortable in the past, I know not in the same way as you, but a different kind of uncomfortable. Does that make sense? hehe. Veggies and balance for the win! Love ya girl xo

Jordan Younger

YAY I'm glad I'm not alone in the golden raisin obsession. My mom was making fun of me all weekend because she isn't into them. I looove them and just bought the freshest, fattest ones at the farmer's market! And I agree, my mom IS gorgeous. I can only hope I age as well as her... and wow! What did you have abdominal surgery for? I am so proud of you for incorporating eggs and yogurt. It seems small, but having more variation and being able to listen to our bodies is so important. Yay for veggies and balance!! Xox have a fabulous weekend my love

Victoria

It's so helpful to hear your thought processes being food and trying to 'let go'. I get terrible anxiety over food especially when my routine is thrown out of sync. Trying to work on it! :(
Cassie

The superfood oatmeal looks divine... I guess the only new indulgence in my world is cashew butter that I bought from TJ's that I'm basically pounding haha.

Jordan Younger

OMGGG cashew butter. Best thing on earth. Any kind of nut butter is simply crack cocaine for me.

meerajeera

I swear you'd feel better if you had more grains and carbs with lunch/dinner... throw in some rice/quinoa/potatoes... this whole protein and veggies only thing is not sustainable as a fuel choice... Remember you're aiming for balance!
Emma

Hi Jordan, I have just discovered your blog and I LOVE it. I am a vegetarian but still a young teenager so I try to get as much protein as I can. I am very into treating the body right, and I know your blog will make it so much easier. For one of your next posts I would really love to hear what your fave snacks are. I know mine are coconut bounce balls and good ol' nuts. Emma xx P.S- Yoga is my best friend and I need one of those 'Yoga Junkie' t-shirts.
Rhia

Hi Jordan! I only found your blog today, and when I read this post I could completely relate to your experience at dinner time. I have been dealing with freaking out about what I eat a lot recently... possibly orthorexia but I am not certain. I am 17 and going through the most stressful time of my life with final exams coming up, and while I want to get over this fear I have of eating unhealthy foods, I am afraid that if I start now it will just build even more stress! Also, I am planning to do overseas volunteer work in Asia for 6 months, and I don't know what to do if unhealthy food is given to me in a foreign country... How do you keep with eating a balanced diet when you also want to experience the foods of another culture?