So let’s do a fun little list, you guys know I love a good list, to catch you up to speed on where my mind has been lately and why I have been so quiet on the blog posting front! Ready?! Let’s do it.

What I Have Been Up To These Last Few Months…

1. CELESTIAL DIET & LIFESTYLE! You guys, OMG omg. The Celestial Diet & Lifestyle 7 day program officially launches in 4 days… and I have a free live intro workshop to all things celestial THIS Thursday!! Are you signed up yet?! I don’t do a lot of live workshops anymore because I pretty much try to save all of my energy for my healing body, my husband & family, friends, and life off screen. When I do something I give it my ALL, and sometimes I find after giving something my all I am super depleted for days and weeks afterward. #justtruth. But this program definitely deserves all of the live workshop energy from me because I have not been this excited about anything in a VERYYYY long time.

The Celestial life channeled through to me (diet, lifestyle, meditations, journaling prompts, a whole damn way of LIFE) in late December of last year & it’s been time to bring it fully to life ever since. It has a whole vibe & life of its own and I am soooo freakishly thrilled to share it with you! Anyway, in creating this program and everything that goes along with it… like I researched the shit out of binaural beats, mindful eating meditations, walking meditations, forest bathing (nature healing), frequency & ascension, celestial life, read tons of Pleiadian books & other books channeled by light beings & beyond… I officially became one of those people who was pretty much “too busy / distracted to post on Instagram.”

I NEVER UNDERSTOOD those people before! I swear! I was like haha yeah right everyone has time to post on Instagram if they want to. But no. My daily posts became once or twice a week posts and even then I felt like my energy was pulled elsewhere. I am still very active on IG stories because those are just easy and not curated, but when it comes to posting a photo, writing a caption, and pouring my energy there, WOW — I have been so pulled into everything pertaining to the Celestial Diet & Lifestyle that I have just taken a little breather. And it’s actually been super nice if I am being honest.

So needless to say, this is where about 75% of my energy has been going, and nearly 100% of my creative energy. It’s so worth it. I realized I wrote another whole damn book!! It’s 72 pages and full of so much goodness. Be on the lookout for another post this Friday breaking it all down, and be sure to join us for the FREE WORKSHOP this Thurs!!!!

2. Working on (ideas for) my next book… This has been so awesome and so exciting, and has been consuming the other .0001% of my creative energy aside from the Celestial program!! Once TCD (The Celestial Diet) launches into the world this Friday and after I guide our very special 7 day program live, I am planning on putting a lot more energy toward the book. It has been so wild because I have been vacillating between fiction & memoir/self-help for years now (7 years to be exact, holy moly) and I wish I could say that confusion has been resolved but it’s still 100% unresolved. I know that I am being called to bring both into the world, it just depends on which one is coming first. If you could comment below on this post and tell me which one you are more excited about, that might sway me as to what to put most of my energy into first!!

What I will say is I am working with a wonderful editor in San Francisco who is going to help me bring the self-help to life in June/July (just in outline form so I can get the juices flowing) so we will see… I am excited. I am a book writer at heart. The further I stray from it, the more upset and lost I get. I came to this earth to write books. I even did a past life regression 5 years ago and asked my soul what I came here to do. The answer was, write books. So here we are!! It’s written in the stars and I am elated to pour my energy into it once the launch of TCD takes place! Eek!

3. Enforcing new social media boundaries. I’m not going to sugar coat it, social media changed a lot in 2020, and we are still feeling those changes in 2021. I get it, people are angry about the state of the world and they turn to the vastness of the internet to project their anger. For a while there I was receiving so much violence on my page I started questioning whether a more peaceful, happy life would require me stepping away from being online for work. (Well the answer is a more peaceful life would definitely be the result of that LOL but would it be worth it? No because I love what I do).

It was helpful to work with my medium Nikki on this, who helped me see that if I did step away, I would be letting the darkness win. The darkness has been trying to overturn the light for centuries and eons. I refuse to play a role in letting the dark win. So here I am, showing up, but with NEW boundaries in place. I spend a lot less time scrolling. I’ve muted like 50% of the people I follow in favor of seeing content that truly inspires and awakens me every day. I post far less on my actual feed, and that is helpful because it frees up creative energy for other, more long lasting things. I block & delete ANY rude/violent/hateful comments immediately, and I have an entire team on the backend doing that so I don’t end up seeing most of the hateful messages anyway these days. I hired a social media assistant to run @tbbpodcast & she’s been crushing it.

Most of all, I do not check my phone (especially social) at night after about 9pm, or in the morning before about 10pm. This is a huge game changer. I will do a whole post on this soon!

4. Personal life / health!! THIS ONE IS HUGE. Many of you know I have been working with my TCM doctor since January to find health in my body, and I have healed so, so much. I can honestly say this is the best I have felt in over 5 years. I have energy again, I can use my brain again, and I feel amazing and so much more like myself. AND there has been so much going on in my personal life / health that has required so much of my energy and attention, and it does make it so much easier to have those social media boundaries. I have loved being an advocate for Lyme disease & healing, but I never wanted to be a poster child for Lyme. I don’t even think that is healthy. I have seen how that affects people, including me, and ties us in with a chronic illness when it’s time for us to step away and back into the light of health. Will go deeper on this soon too.

5. Lots of time with my love & family. Jonathan and I have been doing lots of nearby getaways. We spent this past weekend in Laguna just us two, totally off the grid, and it was so nice & SO NEEDED. I was fullllyyy in my element and just in my preparation headspace for the Celestial workshop this Thurs!! I will be live channeling there so I wanted to save all of the energy for that that I possible could. It has been so fun and so nice just relaxing with my love, especially as the world begins to return to “normal” in many ways. Which I am both ready for and not ready for… who else feels that way? Glennon Doyle has an amazing podcast episode on this on her new pod that made me feel so seen.

6. Working on so many behind the scenes things!! SOMMEEE of what I am doing and working on is still a secret!! So that is also why I have found it harder to show up here, because I am a blabbermouth and I typically TELL ALL to my TBB fam, so keeping certain things to myself has been not the easiest. But I will be sharing more soon and I cannot wait.

Ok hopefully that helps & gives some insight into where I’ve been. I have gotten some messages lately from you guys telling me how much you miss the blog posts, and that both made me sad because I AGREEE and feel the same way and lit my heart up with joy because it means that this little corner of the internet really does have impact. So I want to let you know that I plan on getting back to a more regular posting schedule, even if it’s once or twice a week updates. I miss the OG blogging days, of checking in every day & keeping a life scrapbook for the most part. So my plan is to get back to that. I miss & love the life scrapbook. So here we are !! It’s time!!

What do you guys think?! Would love your thoughts & update me below on how you’ve been doing! I want to hear everything!! XOXO 

By the end of last week it was extremely clear to me that I needed a break from my phone. Not just social media, but my phone in general. Every time it buzzed (or god forbid rang — lol), I felt something deep inside of me jolt into fight or flight mode. The anxiety has been brewing SO intensely and I have been feeling it in every muscle & bone of my body.

I sleep with my phone on airplane mode every night, and by the time I turn it on I usually have between 45-60 text messages. Every morning. At least. I feel like my phone has kind of turned into a DM inbox, especially because I haven’t changed my phone number ever & have had my same number since 6th grade, giving it out with wild abandon. Old habits die hard.

I receive text messages often from people I haven’t seen in 15+ years. Or people I’ve met once. Or people I’ve never met. But you know what the craziest part is? I feel a deep & innate need to get back to everyone. Every time I try to not respond to place a boundary in my energy field, a week or two passes and I feel like a bitch. I don’t like to ghost people. So then I go on a responding spree. But I also know that my energy is precious and as time goes on, I realize how much I need that energy for my own healing body, my own family, my husband, and my close circle of friends. There is only so much energy to go around!

And although some things can easily be ignored, a lot of the messages I wake up to every day are from my team and my family. So the moment my phone goes on, I am immersed in a different world. An online world. One where being “on” is the name of the game & if too many hours pass by without me getting back to someone, they will start to worry about me! Or things with TBB just simply won’t get done.

I know I am not the only one in this boat and I am certainly not special because I wake up to so many messages. I think all millennials are in this boat, and especially those of us who have chosen a more public life. I was recently told, “You know you have too many friends when you have a birthday to go to every single weekend.” Well, that would be me. I love having a lot of friends. But because of my life on the internet, I also have a lot of internet friends, and then a lot of eyeballs that can form opinions on what I am doing or saying even if we are not friends. Where does all of that energy go…?

We live in an “on demand” world. We are all on demand, at all times. My time with my phone on airplane mode every night and into the next morning is deeply coveted for me, because it’s just about the only time I am alone with my thoughts before I get into response or reactivity mode. All of the most efficient business people I look up to talk about this time as the best time for thinking — proactivity vs. reactivity. My goal is to be able to turn my phone on AND remain proactive and creative, but is it just me or is that a really hard thing to do!?!?

Anyway, this weekend I kept my phone off for 48 hours and believe me when I say it was fucking bliss. Yes, my mom got a little worried so if you are going to follow suit I recommend you tell your family before you do it so no one freaks out. I thought about telling her on Friday night before I turned it off, but to be honest keeping it off was very spontaneous. And truth be told I have told her & others many times that “I’m going to turn my phone off for the weekend” and that lasts about 2 hours before it’s back on. So I didn’t really want the pressure or to make it a THING, I just wanted to do it if it felt right. And boy did it feel right.

On Saturday morning, Jonathan and I woke up and just KNOWING in my heart that I wasn’t going to turn on my phone filled me with an unexplainable joy. I felt free. I felt like I could breathe, and like I had space to do… whatever the hell I wanted?! What a novelty! It actually felt like the 90’s again which I miss & think about all the time. How sad is that? That I had to turn my phone OFF to actually experience that feeling of total freedom again. To return to something that is an actual birthright for all of us, to keep our energy inside of us for even a day.

All day we laid in bed, binge watched our favorite show (This is Us — we are late to the game but it is SO GOOD), cooked healthy food together, went on a long walk in our dream neighborhood, went to Erewhon (turns out grocery shopping is a hell of a lot more productive when you don’t look at your phone every 15 seconds), made dinner and got in bed early to cuddle & read. I read a whole novel this weekend. It was so simple… and returning to the simple joys of life for even one day blew me away.

For the record I texted my mom from J’s phone around 6pm that day! She was annoyed & had been worried !! Hence why you should tell your family if you are going to go phone-free. And as much as I LOVE how connected my mom and I are, and it’s my favorite thing about our relationship, it’s also kind of sad yet again that we as humans are used to being SO ON that if the majority of a day passes by without someone we love getting in contact, it scares us. I mean, I’d feel the same level of worry if I didn’t hear from my mom all day. We are a society and a culture that is supposed to be reachable from the time we wake up to the time we fall asleep.

What I learned from the experience…

Of course Saturday was so blissful that I had to do it again on Sunday. Plus, there was the mounting anxiety of, “What if I turn my phone on and have 60+ messages and then my day is not mine anymore?” So I kept it off. Went to the farmer’s market. Went on another long walk. Had more quality time with my love. Got massage & cupping. Then I kept it off until this morning, and something miraculous happened! I had ENERGY to get back to people. I was EXCITED to talk on the phone, to catch up with my close friends, & to hop on social media and share a little tidbit about my weekend.

The burnout was already healing. And that was an amazing feeling. But I feel in my bones I will be approaching social media & my phone differently from here on out. What used to serve me as a blogger, writer and human no longer serves me in the same way. I built my career off of sharing everything… very much to a fault. I reached a point somewhere along the line where I felt that if I kept certain aspects of my life to myself, then I would be boring, or people wouldn’t want to follow me anymore, because I lead with an open heart and share it all. But also somewhere along the line I lost the energy I used to be able to give to myself.

So now, that is what I am focused on. Returning that energy to myself. I have a lot of big goals for my business and my life, and I recognize that I can accomplish absolutely none of it if I keep going at the pace that I have been going. It’s easy to tell myself, “it’s just one more email, just one more DM, just one more little slide for my IG story…” but that’s not what it is. It all compounds. When I did a plant medicine ceremony last year I saw my email inbox & the time I spent within it as an absolute energy assault. I know that is a strong word, nut our energy is precious. Our time is also precious. And I really fear that we as a society give too much of those things away (both time and energy) for our own good.

Energy Boundaries !!

Today I am writing with a clear mind. I really believe that if I had not taken a break over the weekend, I wouldn’t have had it in me to write this post. I am also looking up at my organizational post-it notes that outline my goals both in business & in life for the rest of 2021 and beyond. I have some BIG goals, you guys. I am excited about them. And it’s going to require a lot of my energy to bring all of this to fruition. I know I need to use my energy wisely & have respect for what I am really trying to do here, and not continue to play small in the ways that I have been. Playing small is scrolling social media all day & using all of my creative energy to write Instagram captions + respond to DM’s / comments all day. Playing small is considering myself an influencer rather than the spiritual teacher I know I am in my heart.

I am transitioning into that person now. Spiritual teacher. I envision myself in a white bubble of light, and I envision my business in a white bubble of light. I genuinely believe in this energetic shift I am creating, and I know that we can all do the same if we feel called to. I also genuinely believe and know that what worked for many of us in the past isn’t going to continue to work as we move further and further into operating from the 5D. BOUNDARIES are going to become not only more needed, but completely imperative. 

So yes, all of this is my focus right now. I can’t say I learned all of this from my 48 hours off of my phone — this has been a long time coming for me. These thoughts have been percolating and brewing for YEARS. I have simply reached a point now where if I don’t operate in this way, everything will suffer. My business, my energy, my mind and heart. I promise to continue to show up with an open heart and let you into my life but I won’t be sharing *everything* & also, I don’t think seeing everything serves the greater good anyway. I would much rather show up as a teacher and guiding light, what I know to be in my heart, than an internet diary pouring my heart out into the ethers every day. You feel me?

You will see all of this reflected in my upcoming Celestial Diet & Lifestyle program (are you on the list yet?!), other exciting projects I have in the works, but ultimately in the energy with which I will show up in the world. Energy speaks louder than words. & I believe and know it is time for me to be the example of all I believe in, and highlight a different way of doing things. A new way of doing things. This will also be reflected on my podcast — you will see a lot more solo episodes and a very different type of energy exchange. A much more sustainable one. It’s going to be good. 

I would love your thoughts below. What are your boundaries with social media? This is something I will be working on big time from here on out, and would love all of your own ideas, hacks, tips & tricks !! XO 

When they go low, we go high. This article is not to slam anyone or wage any type of war. It’s to draw a BOUNDARY both energetically and physically, and to hopefully help the world by adding to the conversation that enough is enough. We are so sick and tired of the media’s boring & cruel agenda to tear women down, mostly by lying entirely. This post is about true spirituality — which means standing up for what’s right. This is an open letter to all of the journalists who have fucked with me, the industry I love, so many humans I love, and so many powerful women I admire.

Once you read this article I encourage you not to slam the writer of this hit piece (it may be hard not to ) or even go and read the piece, but rather to second guess clicking on click bait articles that tear down women. Corporate media is dying and they are truly and profoundly stopping at NOTHING to stay relevant. It’s sad and embarrassing for them. We here in TBB community are warriors of the LIGHT & we don’t have time for this shit. Somehow I was dragged and sucked into it yet again, and I used to wonder WHY am I so polarizing? All I want is health and happiness for all living beings… lol. But I know why: people who are filled with light are always going to be confronting MIRRORS for people who are sad, sick, unhappy, and mentally disturbed.

So here we are, this has not happened to our community but FOR our community, and if it happened so that this important conversation could be facilitated then I’ll be damned if I don’t write about it. We all know the darkness will never win, and this darkness is something these sad humans will have to deal with day in & day out for eternity… while this is just a blip on our radar. In a way it’s almost comical, but what’s not comical is how deeply this affects women’s mental health (mine included for many years) to be the butt of a cruel joke they have nothing to do with.

So let’s back up for a moment. Last night it it was brought to my attention that there was a hit piece written in a major mainstream publication using my name and likeness for click bait. Nothing new, right? In the last 8 years I have been dragged through the media and have had words put in my mouth about so many topics that are truly BORING AF but are made to sound salacious because of the desperation of the dying form of art otherwise known as journalism. For example, in 2014 I was vegan and then ate some eggs and had headlines all over the global news for FIVE YEARS titled: “Veganism almost killed this woman.”

And then there was the time I stupidly spoke to a journalist at great length about my battle with Lyme disease, and even connected her to my Lyme doctor for deeper references & the science behind Lyme, and she included us both in a hit piece about “the cult of Lyme disease.” In the article she implied that women with Lyme were suffering from nothing but mental health issues and needed psychiatric help. When I read that piece, it was terrifying & heartbreaking to realize how corrupt humanity had become. Luckily, global readership has come a long way and it was pretty obvious by then (even two years ago) that people no longer bought into the bullshit. Floods of support came through and it really restored my faith that the greater collective of humans out there were beginning to UNDERSTAND that most “journalism” is a lie.

From there I have never spoken to a journalist again. Shockingly, that doesn’t stop them from writing about me (and so many others) in unsolicited, grotesque, painfully untrue and salacious ways. This latest hit piece was a real doozy. Not just for me, forget me, but for wellness in general. Wellness, my friends, is not rooted in darkness. It’s quite literally the opposite, and because everyone knows that, the media will stop at nothing to tear it down. People are SO threatened by the light it’s truly sickening. Like all industries, wellness has its snakes that talk nonsense (fucking duh because we live in a fucked up world), but overall wellness is a beautiful lifestyle & industry that makes the world & people’s lives a better place. “Wellness influencers,” bloggers, health coaches, functional medicine doctors, holistic healers, and any & all people living in the light have nothing to gain financially by drinking green juice, trying alternative health methods, and sharing it online. Literally nothing to gain except the one important thing we care about most which is people being HEALTHY & HAPPY & EDUCATED & AWARE.

I was actually contacted about this recent disgusting piece about “vaccines” by the writer about two months ago and I told her in no uncertain terms that I would not be speaking to her, had no interest in being a part of the article, hoped that her piece would be lovely (because I’m a nice person and I am endlessly hopeful that people & media corporations will do better), and said I have no interest because “I have been so misrepresented, misquoted and attacked in the media in the past so I am extremely careful.” Well folks, she never responded and then went on to write a hit piece without actually ever speaking to me once. She had no qualms about using my name and likeness publicly and with wild abandon even after I told her not to, but the people she quoted who “spoke about me” (I actually have to wonder if this is the writer Hayley herself) have had their names changed for their own privacy.

I will not link the article because I’m fairly certain it already has more clicks and reads than any other piece on their site due to the valid outrage from the entire wellness community — for example, their Instagram photo promoting the piece has 3,000 real human comments (that are all fucking awesome), and their typical Instagram photo has less than 5 comments, from robots no less. Do you see why the media drags innocent people who are interesting, like us?!?! It gives them clicks, which makes them money, which keeps food on their writer’s tables, all at the expense of attacking, lying, bullying, shaming, and spreading lies. Literally. THAT is the world we live in.

So even though I am not linking the article let’s address it for a moment. In it I am called a “whitewashed privileged anti vaccine, science denialism activist” among so many other things, and my green smoothie recipe is also used as the click bait intro to the article which ok ok I am flattered by HMMMM. Ok so I have a lot to say about this. 

1. How fucking yawn is it that they had to use the term “whitewashed”? White… washed? Because now the simple act of MENTIONING that a woman is white means that the media has a right to tell them they’re an awful human being. (I have absolutely no reason to deny that I am white & that I have all of the privileges that come along with that & do the best I can every single day to make the world a fairer and more just place. Just because I am white does not mean that I am automatically a conspiracy theorist who denounces science. It’s such a reach it’s laughable. What in the actual *&@&$*W!!!!!)

2. I am not anti vaccine. This writer went back into the archives of my podcast to find a Q&A in which I mentioned that I PERSONALLY am not planning to get the C19 vaccine “at this time.” I also stated that I would not speak further on the subject because I would prefer to have a DOCTOR on the show to speak on it scientifically. Vaccines are not for everyone, period. & it’s certainly not for me to PROMOTE getting it or not getting it. Some people (like myself) have genetic mutations that make vaccines very difficult to assimilate & this is proven science. Nothing woo-woo about it. Could I still change my mind? Yes!! I am as open minded as they come & I am not anti anything.

People with chronic illness have to look at things differently and I genuinely believe mostly everyone in the world realizes that. We are extra careful and are not typically first in line to get vaccines. But we don’t discourage anyone from getting a vaccine who wants to! That’s just so not me. Chronic illness adds a whole different layer to things. Vaccines can affect people with chronic disease differently, and that has NOTHING to do with any conspiracy theorists!!!!! Many people are hesitant to get the vaccine and most (99%) are not affiliated with conspiracies. Everyone has their OWN reasons.

This is a sensitive topic that people should decide for themselves. Unfortunately the press and our government make it hard to simply get the FACTS.

My family has been vaccinated. I support them. I encouraged them to receive the vaccine, because they wanted to!!! I don’t care what other people do because it doesn’t concern me. I was a vaccinated child and teenager. There is nothing about me that is “anti vax” just because in one podcast episode, one time, I said I would not personally be first in line to receive the Covid vaccine. To label someone an “anti vaxxer” in this day and age who is not that is so ridiculously low, because we all know it comes along with the labels of “she’s a quack, she’s craaaaazy, she’s one of those deniers!” Please if you want to get the vaccine, get the vaccine. If you want to, I want you to, and I get it. Do what you please. Always!

3. I am not a science denialist. This is laughable. I am so intrigued by science — I am currently reading a book about the physics of the inter-dimensionality of time. It’s wildly fascinating. I’m reading another book about the history of physics and how it relates to spirituality. It’s way more fascinating than a hit piece written by a writer that hates women. Point blank, there is nothing on my page or podcast or blog that could be used to say that I am a denialist of science. Also, it’s no secret that big pharma is corrupt in general and that’s an actual fact. A FACT.

4. To tie me in with conspiracy theories / Q anon is an actual joke as well. I have publicly stated many times that Q anon is not only something I am not affiliated with, it is dangerous and is taking away from real issues that need to be discussed. I have a whole podcast episode on this with Marianne Williamson where I state multiple times that these conspiracies are dangerous & scary. The whole rhetoric of trying to tie in every healthy person who is interested in wellness or rooted in the wellness industry WITH conspiracy theorists is just wrong and people see right through it at this point. 

5. There is no such thing as the dark underbelly of wellness. Like I said, there are corrupt people in every industry, in every walk of life, in every space, and there will be for all of time. What we should really be highlighting is the dark underbelly of journalism. Think about the mental health concerns of women who have been dragged in the media to absolutely no avail — Britney Spears, Meghan Markle, Mia Farrow, Princess Diana, Amanda Bynes, Jessica Simpson, Demi Lovato, Amy Winehouse — I could go on. MENTAL HEALTH is what I am concerned about at this point and I am just grateful to be in a place where I can handle this level of hate in the media and not want to crawl into a hole and die.

6. The most hilarious thing about the article is that the first line is, “You could say it all began with a smoothie.” She then goes on to describe the ingredients in one of my cinnamon spirulina bowls I posted about a handful of years ago. LMAO. Is this an article about my successful recipe developing or… about the dark side of wellness? I’m waiting…

7. The media outlet that wrote this article is not a health outlet. They are a fashion magazine. Do we see and understand how corrupt the media is yet? Do we understand that they are feeding lies into the world in any way, shape or form they can find at this point? Because they are threatened by the light and everything the light entails…

8. The writer of this article also wrote a hit piece about Britney Spears and likened Britney supporters to Q anon conspiracy theories, but “celebrity-obsessed” ones. So it’s clear that this writer is threatened by powerful women, has a serious issue with all things conspiracy, will go to great lengths to compare everything she comes across to Q anon, and has no problem tearing down a woman who has been slaughtered by the media for her entire career which almost cost her her life & did cost her her career and her children (Britney).

9. At the end of the day I really want to thank this writer because these are serious, SERIOUS conversations we need to be having about the sickness of the media and I am happy to have them here on my platform. The media can no longer get away with this bullying, lying, anti-EVERYONE that doesn’t FALL INTO LINE exactly the way they are told to rhetoric, and also the media cannot get away with tearing apart women who have struggled. It’s undeniable that Britney has struggled with her mental health. I have struggled with my physical health. I have never one “promoted” my Lyme healing protocols, in fact I go to great lengths to always say, “this is what works for me and please don’t do this at home.”

10. I have never promoted any of the things that this article has said I promoted, not one, and if that’s not enough factual evidence to show you that media is strictly propaganda skewed toward what they want you to believe, then I really don’t have anything further to say.

11. Thank you for the free press yet again because honestly to be the introductory 5 paragraphs to an article I had absolutely nothing to do with and have absolutely no relevance to the topic at hand is actually flattering.

12. I know this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with how people threatened are by the light, so don’t worry I am level headed enough to KNOW THIS. This is still a boundary I am drawing and this boundary is deeply important. I have witnessed my friends get slaughtered as well as myself and I am just done.

13. Wellness has been a threat for as long as I can remember. Because the truth is, healthy people don’t make money for corporations or big Pharma. Period. Think about this. What DO we make though? Glowing, healthy, happy, radiant lives… so dangerous.

I could go on, but the truth is… I am realizing something more and more with every passing day… we who live in the light, spread the light, and radically LIVE & BREATHE the light, are going to be scrutinized by people who live in the darkness every damn day until they wake up. What I know for a fact is that I will no longer let the media use my name for their senseless propaganda and as I have shared on my Instagram, am in the midst of taking legal action.

What I want YOU to know if you are here reading, is that it’s worth it to live in the light. It’s worth it to be a person who shares their truth, goes against the grain at times, and is an actual thinking human rather than a robot who is out of touch with their feelings & reality. No one here is anti science. No one here is a conspiracy theorist. We are just honest, hardworking, light-filled people who live healthy lives and make choices for ourselves and support others who make choices for THEMselves.

The content of the article aside, how is this okay???? How is it okay for the media to do what they do, and make money off of it at the same time? I literally don’t know how these individuals sleep at night, but what I do know is that we as a collective and a community and every woman who has been slighted by the mainstream… will rise above it. We are here to rise above it. And in doing so we will make a dent and change the world for real, I really do believe that.

And also, if you did find your way to the article itself, do yourself a favor and read the comments on the IG post posted by the publication it’s phenomenal to see not a single comment supporting the article itself. There are thousands of people who are awake, open minded, and living their damn lives who know that the media at this point is full propaganda and cruelty.

FINAL WORDS: I AM FILLED WITH HOPE & COURAGE!! So many people are awake and kind and full of love. THANK YOU to the hundreds of you who have reached out and supported on social media, email, DM, text message, etc. Last night I had dinner with a friend and looked down at my phone to over 100 text messages from friends near and far offering support. THAT restores my faith in humanity. That made my heart happier than words could ever say… and gives me hope for this world because lightness always overcomes the dark.

& as with all things like this that happen, NOT saying anything about this craziness also speaks volumes to me. There is not a single person I work with that hasn’t reached out (my podcast team, my TBB team, my designers and copywriters and photographers), and that shows me what an incredible, supportive, light-filled team I have surrounding me. Every kind comment, re-share, or post of your own about this narrative helps because it adds light to a conversation that has otherwise been very dark. I am consistently reminded how full of light this world is and that is thanks to you guys. Let’s keep doing this good work of being good humans who don’t slander people.

I love you all — and back to regularly scheduled programming from here on out.

Sounds weird for a being who connects daily with the light, right? Not at all. Experiencing darkness is part of the human condition. There is a constant duality between the darkness and the light, and my belief is that without experiencing darkness we cannot fully appreciate the blessings from the light. But it still sucks to wake up and feel shitty, or to have full days that just feel so OFF.

Today for me was one of those days. Let’s get into it.

I woke up and immediately felt that feeling of… Oh. Darn. I really liked being asleep and living in my magical dreamland. Huddy was on my chest, purring his heart out, and I was holding him like a real life teddy bear. He always sleeps on my heart when I need an extra tune up. And not one but TWO of my friends texted me in the morning letting me know that Huddy & I were there healing them and playing with them in the astral plane (in their dreams!!).

So as you can imagine, waking back up into this reality just felt harsh after being in that beautiful healing space with my soul and Hud’s soul. What I do upon waking up when my mind goes to that place is repeat the mantra: “I am whole. I am beautiful. I am abundant. I am at peace.” I repeat it over and over until it really soaks in for me and I start to feel more hopeful about the day and more at peace with living with chronic pain.

And usually, once I get up and start my day, have my celery juice and coffee, do a meditation and some journaling or reading (The Daily Stoic is my morning go-to at the moment), then I really start to feel better. I ease into my body, into this existence, and tap back into how lucky I am to live a life that I love. I surround myself with people I love and make sure that every day I get into nature, write, move my body, communicate with my TBB fam (you guys), and connect with my loved ones. Those are some of my personal keys to happiness.

But some days… that routine just doesn’t cut it. Some days the reality of Lyme takes over, and sometimes I soak in the despair of the collective (I am a Reflector after all… it is not easy to have so many open chakras and centers. ALL of mine are open! Every single one!) and just feel exhausted by the mere thought of life. I really attribute this very much to being a very, very, very old soul. And to being so sensitive and soaking in other people’s emotions. Which I know many of us do.

Something that is said about Reflectors is that our health reflects the state of the world. So as you can imagine right now with the state of the world being in upheaval in many ways, my body’s baseline is upheaval. My nervous system feels flighty and fluttery and on edge so much of the time, and I have to work in my constant daily practice of tuning in, giving myself rest, and getting back to my heart center to even feel remotely at peace most days.

So here’s how I dealt with the darkness today…

Today was one of those rough ones. It was such a blessing because I had nowhere to be, and I try to work those days into my schedule as much as I can. But I still work, work, work no matter where I am or what I am doing. I don’t really know how to “rest” with much ease, so that is something I am currently working on. I woke up and instead of working just worked my ass off from bed which is… a whole other story. My work addiction!

I noticed myself slipping into a darker and darker mental space as the day went on, almost in a chemical sort of way, so I intervened by hopping in my sauna and listening to a high vibe podcast. Sweating out toxins is huge for us sensitive beings of light (which I am willing to bet includes so many of you reading) and tried to repeat to myself: Just stay calm. There is nowhere to be. No pressure to feel. It’s all working out exactly as its meant to.

I started to feel better and more inspired in the sauna, but by the time I got out I felt so DRAINED of all life force energy I just felt frustrated and sad. It’s a weird dance to be on the healing upswing from such a severe illness… because some days are very energizing and beautiful, and some days are so EXTREMELY depleting just simply being alive and doing nothing. This is not a complaint because I really feel and know that Lyme has been a gift to me. But it doesn’t take away the fact that being painfully exhausted just by being human is hard!

So I did something I never do. I laid down some towels (because I was still dripping from the sauna), chugged my electrolyte water, and laid down on my couch. Fully midday. Anyone who has lived with me will tell you I have never really sat on the couch in any home I’ve ever lived in. It’s this weird thing to me where especially during the day I have this huge mental block of refusing to “be lazy.” For whatever reason that’s what my brain associates the couch with — unless of course I am working on the couch. Now we can see why Lyme was my greatest teacher, yes?

Then I felt this deep calling, this INNATE PULL from deep inside of me to pull up a Past Life Regression Hypnosis on YouTube. I have done a past life regression with a therapist before (you can listen to my episode with that therapist on the pod here), but never on my own at home just for kicks. I have actually been feeling called to do this for a while but I was always turned off by how long the meditations are and how much time I would need to dedicate.

So I found one on YouTube that called to me and it was a little over an hour long. Again, that is a long meditation to do spontaneously in the middle of the day! But I was so up for it. I already felt my body melting into the couch with less than zero life force energy to speak of, and my energetic soul was buzzing to have this experience.

Side note: I am going to create a meditation like this for Waking Back Up To Your Own Soul, and had major visions of it while doing the regression!

Past Life Regression!!!

Within minutes the voice leading the meditation guided me to imagine roots growing from the bottom of my feet into the core of the earth, going deeper and deeper and deeper. I felt my feet literally VIBRATE with the energy of growing these expansive roots, and the vibration got more and more intense as I was guided to send these roots deeper and deeper into earth’s core.

From there I could tell this was going to be a DEEP meditation. I was going to go places. I was excited. Now I knew why I woke up feeling the way that I did — my soul was calling for this experience. So I will pause the story right here to tell you, an amazing way to deal with darkness, anxiety and depression is to stop what you are doing and meditate. It will likely not be the thing you want to do in that moment. It may be the last thing you want to do. But it WILL help. It can only help.

From there I sent relaxation through my whole body, and my hands literally started levitating. As the meditation guided me to reach for a purple flame, a chunk of crystal, and a lamp that held the knowledge of all of my past lives, I found myself reaching for each of those things involuntary. My hands put the invisible crystal on my forehead! And the lamp on my chest! You cannot make this stuff up.

I surrounded myself in a white light of protection, an important thing to do when you are opening your soul and energy field in this way. As I was guided into my past lives, I didn’t have the same blocks I often have. I could see everything. I was on the edge of GALAXIES… looking out into a dark sky full of bright stars. I was in the stars. And this was only the very beginning.

It will come as a surprise to exactly no one that Huddy was there guiding me through the ENTIRE way. And I saw my animal spirit guide and immediately burst into tears because it felt so pure and true. Any guesses??? Leave them below. :))

Then I descended the stairs into actual human past lives. I will go deeper on this in an upcoming podcast solo episode and in the book I am working on (yay ;)))) but the biggest thing I saw in one of these past lives was me as a mother of four, married to the soul of someone I know in this lifetime (actually a soul cluster but we will get into that another day), and we had a lot of new money as a family. People were after us. This was the early 1900’s. I asked my soul what year it was and it gave me a hazy answer of 1920 or 1921. WILD.

In this lifetime I felt myself getting strangled in the middle of the night in my bed. I couldn’t see by who but I knew it was an intruder who had come to ransack our home and kill me to take all of our belongings. My husband was out of town and the intruder didn’t go after the kids. I don’t think this person meant to kill me but they strangled me to death. I felt an INTENSE burning in my throat, jaw, neck and upper chest during the meditation while this was happening. I felt the struggle. I was a fighter and I fought back big time. Ultimately it was too much for me and I did not survive, but my soul stayed hovered about my home and my family for a long time after my death, watching over them.

After I relived this painful and traumatizing memory… I felt SO MUCH PAIN whoosh out of my throat, neck and jaw (in this lifetime). A lot of you guys know I have had debilitating jaw pain for years, and I’m not saying it’s gone now, but the FEELING I had while going into that past life was absolutely beyond wild. I have also had a big block in my throat chakra for pretty much my entire lifetime. I saw the root of this so, so clearly in this lifetime memory. Not to mention the root of my debilitating ANXIETY — I mean, hello?! Strangled and murdered?! Also no wonder I am petrified to the high heavens whenever I imagine our doors might be unlocked while I am sleeping!

I feel like it happened somewhere in the middle of America… potentially in Oklahoma, Arkansas, Kansas, or Kentucky. I tried hard to focus in on where it was and ask my soul but there was a lot going on. Also, I was a painter in that lifetime. My husband worked in the oil industry. I saw the names of all four of our children and what they looked like. They are all very young.

I saw a lot of other lifetimes too, but that one was extremely notable… many of them were not nearly as painful as this one. There was a lot of deep, dark karma happening in that lifetime (with the death), but it was also full of immense love. MY DAD BYRON WAS THERE, because he always is. And again I was shown that my beautiful mama is more of a new soul so she wasn’t exactly there — and I went deep into my ancestral DNA and danced with my grandmothers and was shown quite a bit of clarity on my current healing journey from them.

A lot of the other lifetimes burst into my mind in a total cluster. Like I could see them all at once but couldn’t grasp into them deeply. But my soul did say to me, “WRITE YOUR DAMN BOOK.” Which is always says. Message received!!!

It was beautiful!!! Oh, and then I came back to the human life around 1926 into the body of someone in Hollywood who I have been obsessed with for a long time…. I am dying to know more about this life. That will be my next adventure. Any guesses on who? If you are right I will send you a gift because… if you get it OMG then that means you see my soul DEEPLY!!!

As always with regressions I felt immense peace and love and nostalgia wash over me during and after. I also felt much more at ease and calm when I finished the meditation, like my body had gotten the deep rest it truly needed. I still feel exhausted but that’s because that stuff is deep work! Some of the deepest work there is!

I also saw so clearly that we travel in SOUL FAMILIES… aka our real life families as well as our chosen families in this lifetime, who are with us through the lifetimes.

It was affirmed to me that I am an old, old, old AF soul. Still resonating more deeply and clearly with being an ancient grandmother oak tree than a human being. But my human lives have all been very special.

So all of this to say, if you feel those dark feelings and that overall dark energy from time to time (or a lot), you are not alone! Try meditating and if you are interested in a past life regression, I recommend first doing one with an accredited therapist because these journeys can be intense!!! I live an intense emotional life so I felt equipped, lol.

Anyway, I want to hear all of your thoughts! Leave them below! Questions? Would absolutely love to go way deeper into this too. Love you all! Thank you for reading!

I know, I know. Bear with me here. I told you guys we were going to start to get more deep on the blog than ever before, so why not start with this? We are ready for it! Trust me! 

I first started feeling the intuitive knowing that we were in some sort of holographic reality a couple of years ago when the signs about it started jumping out to me as clear as day. Many nights I would dream that we were all infinitely powerful beings living in a Matrix type of reality, and in my dreams I could fly, heal myself and others, use magical powers, and everything came and flowed to me with complete ease. Then I would wake up and pretend to exercise those “powers” I felt in my dreams. It worked.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t wake up and start flying around my house — although that would be awesome. But I did slowly but surely start to change the chemistry in my mind and body to heal myself, heal my relationship to everything outside of myself, and feel complete peace and ease in my body, mind, and spirit. I also started channeling, which many of you know. Over time… I started realizing we truly are more powerful than we know.

SO MANY things on earth do not make a lot of sense to me, or to many of us. Like, why do we dream? Why do we sleep for roughly 1/3 of our lives? Why is truth oftentimes stranger than fiction? What is our soul’s purpose? Where do we go when we die? Who or what is God? Why do some people experience paranormal or psychic experiences and others don’t believe in them or feel open to them at all? What is fear? How do some people come up with world-altering inventions or mathematical equations or overcome impossible odds? How and why do miracles exist?! What even is impossible, if nothing is in fact impossible? Why does the number 201 follow me everywhere, every day, ALWAYS?! Why can I see people’s faces shape shift?!

What if this was all a SIMULATION, holographic reality, playground or dream state, and we all had infinite control over our own destinies? At the end of the day, only love is real. The universe has made that abundantly clear to each and every one of us when we truly stop and listen. We are all in charge of our own reality, which is why we actually all live in our own worlds — does anyone remember the whole “Yanny vs. Laurel” controversy or the gold dress vs. blue dress debate? PERCEPTION is individual. We all live in our own little universes!

Even Elon Musk says, given the rate of technology advancement in our lifetime, “It’s a given that we’re clearly on a trajectory that we’re going to have games that are indistinguishable from reality. It would seem to follow that the odds that we’re in base reality is 1 in billions.” Base reality, being of course, the one reality that is not a simulation.

Think… The Matrix, but real life! And trust me, I used to not be into this stuff at all. I was the first person to tell you that ghosts are not real, there is only one universe / timeline, there is a scientific reason for paranormal experiences, on and on.

BUT, boy has my mind shifted. I attribute that to so many things… the main thing being waking back up to my soul, and reconnecting to the spirituality I had as a child. Basically, before we become conditioned by the world, we are babies and little kids who have come from something infinite, beautiful, powerful, spiritual, the realm beyond. Thanks to getting sick with Lyme disease and going through a full spiritual, emotional, mental, metaphysical overhaul. It happened over time but also all at once… it was wild. And so cool.

This awakening has been incredible on so many levels. For one, I have been able to tap into other universes and realms and have been able to speak with ancestors, angels, aliens, my higher self, and beyond! I have received the knowing that we are so, so powerful beyond our wildest dreams and measure. That’s why things like manifestation, subconscious brain re-wiring, thought visualization (Joe Dispenza style), telepathy, and all sorts of traditionally unexplainable miracles take place on the daily — because we hold the keys to breaking patterns & building new ones every single day.

The downloads lately about us being in some sort of holographic reality have been huge. I have this strong feeling that this life really goes by in the blink of an eye as far as our eternal souls are concerned (because time is an illusion and it does not exist the way we think it does), and that when we pass on from these bodies we “wake back up” to what our true reality is. Which is infinite love, bliss, & eternal oneness. I know that idea is so out there compared to what we are taught to believe, but it doesn’t have to be a scary thing! In fact, it is a beautiful & amazing thing and to me it explains so MUCH about why we have the infinite power inside of us that I know we all possess. 

Yes… we are all infinitely powerful. Inside of us lives a whole universe of power, love, magic, and creative energy that is calling to be woken back up & put to use.

So how can we harness that!??!

That is why I am such a big proponent of routine! We ALL hold the power to our own daily routine & what we do every day. No matter how busy we are or what our life looks like – we can make the decision to instill lasting, daily habits that ultimately build up the entirety of our lives. That is why every single day no matter what I wake up, read a chapter of something that inspires me, drink my green juice, journal, stretch, have my coffee and lemon water, breathe & go inward before I start my day. That IS my spiritual practice. That’s when these ideas and knowings flow to me freely, before I am inundated by the noise of the world.

I have so many goals that I want to achieve in this lifetime, and I am so well aware that my routine still has a long way to go. When I spoke to the incredible Ryan Holiday (the author of The Daily Stoic, Ego is the Enemy, & Stillness is the Key to name a few) for the podcast last week and asked him how he has found the diligence and inspiration to write more than ten extremely successful and life changing books by the age of 33, he said simply, “I just do it. There’s no big secret to it. I wake up and write every day before I do anything else. I get all the important things done early on in my day so everything I do after that is just a bonus.”

( I am paraphrasing his words here, but I cannot wait for you guys to hear this full episode when it comes out in two weeks. We also found out we are both from Sacramento and grew up extremely close by to one another! Again, maybe it’s just me, but this world is full of too many fantastic and irrefutable coincidences in order to just be “random.” There is something larger & more beautiful at play here, absolutely. )

We are in charge of our own free will & destiny. It’s NOT THAT HARD, not if we make it easy & shift our perception.

I know without a doubt that part of what I am here to do in this lifetime is write books, lots of them. Memoir, fiction, poetry. I feel it all coming forth. I feel paralyzed right now by the decision whether to dive into memoir or fiction first — if you guys have any feelings or thoughts on that please let me know, because your words may be just what I need to help me decide and just START!!! (Please seriously though comment below + let a sista know.)

Regardless, I know that I have infinite worlds of creativity, power and aliveness inside of me to get these writings started. I know that the moment I put my mind to it and just begin, the words will pour out. I know this to be true with every fiber of my being, because I know that this is our playground reality to do whatever we wish with. I know many of us have extreme obstacles to overcome, and that is all relative, but there is no doubt in my mind that we CAN overcome anything. Absolutely anything. Health, career, love, financial hardship… we can overcome anything. We were actually born to do exactly that.

I also believe in infinite lifetimes, parallel universes, soul realms, soul contracts, soul families, DNA imprints, karmic lessons, Akashic records and so much more — so that’s not to say that there aren’t limitations in this lifetime based off of our soul’s entire JOURNEY, some of which may remain a mystery for this lifetime, but I do believe that any limitation can be broken. Any barrier can be broken through. I believe in the good and purity in all of our souls and that the lightness really is here to overtake the dark.

So the one thing we can do to make life infinitely better, in my opinion, is to know that life is a playground. We hold infinite power in the “video game” simulation of our lives.

And whether you agree with me or not about the simulation hypothesis, it is so nice to know that we do hold this infinite power. We are talented, spiritual, strong, resilient creatures who are always evolving and always learning — we hold the wisdom of WORLDS inside of each of us.

When you think of life as a game, life gets infinitely better. 

When you think of life as a game, you can essentially “win” at the game of life whenever you choose to shift your perspective.

That is why ENERGY is so potent and powerful. Because as Joe Dispenza says, when we change our energy, we change our life. That is simple truth! Have you ever noticed that when you stop worrying about something and have full faith in the outcome, you truly cannot go wrong? Because you let go of the attachment to outcome and in that you give the freedom of your own destiny + free will to take over and do its thing.

Practicing the art of letting go and surrender is huge when shifting your energy and perspective and choosing in that sense to live a happier, mindful, peaceful life of non-attachment. And JOY !! So much joy exists in the spiritual life and quest of non-attachment.

My current mantra is this: Life is a game. Life is my playground. I have worlds of wisdom and knowledge ready to pour out of me, and so much creativity at my fingertips at any given time. I am in charge of my own health, wellbeing, and the outcome of my life. I hold infinite power.

I have so much more to say on this topic, but this is just a taste for now. My soul has been speaking to me big time and has given me lots of little truth bites to start sharing on the blog.

*If I can heal myself from Lyme and mold and regain my energy and vitality, then anything is impossible. A few years ago I thought I was going to die. I wanted to die. I was so ill and lost all of my zest for life. I lost everything I thought was ever going to be mine in this lifetime. And guess what? I broke down to rebuild… and now, I KNOW I can find full healing and full remission + that life is infinitely deeper, more beautiful, and full of so many more blessings than I ever could have imagined.  That, alone and in itself, makes me believe so fully in the innate power + blessings + magic we all hold inside of our bodies, spirits, and minds.

What do you think? Are you into it? What are your thoughts on us living in a simulation world?  Ultimately I think it is so beautiful to return to our true innate power and the magic that lives inside of us no matter what. The truth is, we CAN do anything. We all can. It’s all about believing in ourselves, and believing in shifting our reality.

And today is huge because… TODAY I AM TURNING 30!! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL heck. I feel like I am forever a kid at heart, while also being such an old, old soul. Kind of like a great-great-great grandmother tree (you get this if you listen to the podcast) and a forever teenager all at once. When I was little I always thought that 30 was the epitome of ADULTHOOD — but now that I’m here I see… we are all just humans aging and growing and evolving while remaining exactly who we are in our core but getting physically older.

It’s a trip, and it’s exciting. It makes me look at people differently now, no matter what their age is, knowing we are all exactly the same people as when we were younger but gaining more wisdom and life experiences that we can share. When you can look at someone and see their inner child, everything shifts. Compassion and love flows in abundance, and there is so much understanding and forgiveness. People are always doing the best they can and “age” is truly just a number. Plus, time is an ILLUSION (!!!) you know I feel this in my bones, so our lives growing and evolving is really the only sign of passing “time” that I pay attention to.

On that note, I am fully embracing stepping into 30 today for so many reasons. Birthdays always make me feel so grateful for the love I have in my life and the experiences that have led me to this point. It has been a rough few years with my health, but every single experience I had during that time guided me to exactly where I am now… and I can honestly say I have never been more happy, filled up, abundant, or comfortable in my own skin.

I am SO READY to embrace all that this new decade has to offer, and I am in full alignment with the symbolic meaning of a new decade, a fresh chapter. I know so much will happen in this chapter of life… we will expand our family, eventually buy a house, have so many fun adventures, spend time with the people we love, and I know there is a lot of goodness coming on TBB. There are definitely books coming. Lots of books.  Calling that into existence in this very moment!

So!!! Let’s get into it!! 30 Things I Have Learned in 30 Years!!

P.S. whenever I say “you” I am talking to myself because this is pretty much a letter to myself. But “you” also means YOU, everyone reading! And if anything doesn’t resonate, just leave it out!

1. Nothing, & I mean absolutely nothing, is more important than love. Love is all there is, and only love is real. Anything that feels icky or painful or undesirable is simply a deviation from love, and we have the choice in every moment to return to love in our hearts. Surround yourself with people who radiate LOVE & love you unconditionally, and the rest will follow.

2. Don’t believe the made up stories in your mind as fact!! You, beautiful human, are a very sensitive being. It’s easy to think that someone doesn’t like you or you aren’t good enough or your creativity has run out, but these are all *stories* in your mind. They’re not real. Whenever you doubt yourself, ask someone you love to tell you 5 amazing things about you. Then return the favor. Remember that reality is so much more true & less dramatic than your thoughts.

3. You, dear Jordan, completely thrive on a plant-based diet. Save yourself the trouble of trying keto, paleo, high fat, low carb, all that silly stuff that will eventually wreak havoc on your hormones + bod, because you know in your heart what makes your body feel its very optimal best. You’ve known since you were a child that you don’t believe in eating animals. Your intuition is guiding you. Keep listening.

4. You will fall in love with spirituality in so many forms in so many ways. It’s all beautiful and will help you evolve SO MUCH. Kundalini, reiki, mediumship, crystal healing, shamanism, plant medicine… it will all expand your mind more than you will ever believe. That said, don’t take anyone’s word as the word of God. Your own word & intuition will always guide you. No need to put anyone on a pedestal. 

5. Yoga will be a constant in your life forever. From the age of 14 onward, listen to that inner calling get on your mat as often as you can. Daily will make your body feel its best. No need to do the fanciest poses in the book, just stretch and breathe and let your mind zen out. It is medicine.

6. Falling in love with your true person is not going to be dramatic or hard or painful. In fact, letting go of the idea that love has to be painful is probably the lesson of my lifetime so far. It doesn’t mean you have to let go of anyone forever, but being able to disentangle from a human who no longer makes you feel good at all is an extremely healing thing to do.

7. On that note, other people’s problems are not your own! You are very sensitive but you don’t have to soak them in. You are only responsible for your feelings, your life, your actions and reactions.

8. Creativity is the key to life. Always stay creative. Drawing, painting, writing, journaling, getting lost in nature, all of those things are the essence of happiness & staying young.

9. NATURE heals! When all else fails, return to nature. It will teach you how to be again.

10. What is so, so, so much more important & abundant than money is love. LOVE is true abundance. When you follow your bliss and your heart, the rest will follow. The money will always come. Live by the principles in “Soul of Money” & you will always have more than enough.

11. Being psychic is a gift and not something to run away from. Head straight into the fire and embrace everything that comes from it!

12. Finding “home” in many places is also a gift. You have lived in Sacramento, Los Angeles, Italy (Florence), & New York in this lifetime and every one of those places feels like home. Sometimes it’s hard to have your people spread out all over, but ultimately that too is a gift! Embrace it all!

13. You can LITERALLY DO WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO!! In this day & age you can create a career on the internet based off of exactly what you love. Believe it, and never forget it.

14. Nothing is more important than family. Work to keep those relationships strong & thriving — no one but you can do that work. If it is not reciprocated, their issues are not yours to heal. You just keep working on you. 

15. Marriage is the most fun EVER!!! It’s like hanging out with your best friend all day every day. There is actually nothing better on earth.

16. Staying in touch with the people you love is where it’s at. Tell your people how much you love them. All the time. Never underestimate how much that could mean to someone.

17. When you eat the ideal foods for your body and let go of all of the noise and pressure, your body will find its ideal weight and stay there. Breathe and enjoy your food!! Eat what you love in abundance!! Your body & your mind will thank you.

18. Don’t waste time comparing yourself to others. No one else in the world is YOU & that is your unique offering to this beautiful planet.

19. LAUGHTER is the best medicine.

20. Our bodies can heal from literally anything / everything if put in the right environment on a mind/body/soul level.

21. We have had endless past lives, parallel lives, and will have endless future lives. That doesn’t make this one life any less significant or special.

22. Humans are more magical than many people will ever know. We are alchemistic shamans who can create healing, love, unity, and bliss. That is your message to the world. Stick with it even when you know you still have a lot to learn.

23. There is nothing in the universe like the love of an animal!!! Squeeze your fur baby (HUDDY) close. He is love incarnate. He is everything. He will remind you how to live.

24. If equality and love is the goal, it is so important to stay informed about ways to create more equality & love in the world. Being born into a position of privilege is to be used wisely. Always stay committed to learning and growing, and let go of the notion of always having to be “right.” A lot of times you will get it wrong, and that’s okay. Learning and growing is a beautiful thing, and oftentimes that includes being wrong!

25. Fighting with the people you love is so boring and not necessary. Always stay committed to figuring out the quickest, most real and most efficient solution. The best thing you can do is work on yourself and heal your own wounds, and you will find that the conflict in your life begins to dissipate… life is pretty amazing that way.

26. Aliens  are real and they are full of love. You will communicate with them for the rest of your life. It’s a lot of fun and if anyone thinks you’re crazy, that’s okay. Maybe you’ve always known you ARE a little bit crazy!

27. Hold your memories close and always keep creating new memories. Make scrapbooks, journals, albums, videos, take photos + capture all the great adventures of your life. You will love looking back on it FOREVER — don’t stop taking photos just because the way of the world has changed so much.

28. Things are changing on earth, but don’t forget how adaptable we are as humans. We can really adapt to anything. Maintain focus on love, equality, unity, health, and creativity- those will be the keys to changing with the times and sharing your mission with the world in an impactful way.

29. Longterm goals are way more exciting than short term goals… and when you put effort into them every day, day after day, for years on end, miraculous things tend to occur. Keep at it and don’t forget all the wonderful things you are excited to create and write!

30. Life is short. Write the books. Eat the vegan pizza. Take the vacations. Look up from your phone and take in the love that’s right in front of you. Love hard, even when you’re afraid of getting hurt. Put yourself out there. Dream big, move your body, and take care of yourself. Breathe deep. You are in charge of your own life and your own energetic alchemy. Your world is as big, beautiful, juicy and magnetic as you make it. So step in, stay awhile, and find gratitude in every moment. This is your life. Enjoy!!!

I have so many more things to say, per usual LOL, but omg this was a good start. I am so excited. And so thrilled to be celebrating my 30th and just so grateful for all of you. Anything I missed!? Share it below!? And say hi and tell me about you!!!!

PS we are doing two BIG birthday giveaways this week!!! One is $400 worth of products from Cured Nutrition CBD, and you can enter here! There will be two winners! And the second is a NAMA JUICER (!!!) – my fave juicer there is!! They have also bumped up the discount code BLONDE to 15% for this week to celebrate my bday.

So honored & excited for all of it! Yippppeee!!

This month is FLYING… like woah. I have been taking a lot of downtime and have really been structuring my days differently, all focused around healing and feeling my best every day.

You guys know this is hard for me, real hard, but I try. And so far, it really seems to be working. I have been very focused on doing LESS, and the outcome is that I am actually accomplishing more, feeling more fulfilled, and also feeling a hell of a lot less sick on a day to day basis.

What does doing less mean? It means actually only actively working for about 2-3 hours a day, give or take, and then allowing myself to focus on other things for the rest of the day — whether that be healing, reading, meditating, going on walks, exercising, taking baths, sitting in the sauna, listening to podcasts, brainstorming and writing, hanging out with people I love, etc.

This is NOT EASY for a former workaholic, let me tell you. But my body is thanking me for it, my mind is thanking me for it, and I have realized so many things about myself in the process.

Like… there is so much more to life than working. And when you are busy working, it’s easy to forget that sometimes. I always say that getting sick has been such a gift in my life because I have simply had no choice other than to completely refine the way I go about life, and then continuously refine it again and again whenever my body speaks to me and tells me to do so.

So!!! My days lately have been awesome! And I want to share with you what I have been doing that have all been making a big difference in how I feel day to day.

The main question I get every single day on social media, the blog, and beyond is what are the TOP THINGS that have helped me heal from Lyme Disease and find relief?! And while that list is always changing and I also have so much more healing to do, I definitely have my daily lifestyle practice to thank for feeling so much better than I did just a mere few years ago… and even a mere few months ago, because things are always changing.

So let’s get into it!! My top 10 healing things that I do every day!! Keep in mind you can and should absolutely refine these and make them your own because we are all different — but this is what works for me and I am so grateful for these little life hacks that keep me feeling my best.

TBB’s Top Ten:

1. Sit in my sauna. Okay let’s start here… sweating in an infrared sauna has changed my life. Yes, it has to be infrared because infrared heat penetrates the skin 5-7x deeper than regular heat. It helps to release toxins in your body which are then carried out through your sweat, it helps bring oxygen and nutrients to the surface of your skin, it is great for skin because it stimulates collagen and encourages dead cell tie off, it burns calories, relieves pain, and greatly reduces inflammation in the body. It has changed my WORLD.

I got a home sauna about 2 years ago, and I swear by my Clearlight (use the code BLONDE for a discount!). But I know a home sauna is not an option for everyone, so if that is your case then search for a sauna place or gym near you that may offer infrared saunas. In LA I love Sweatheory and Shape House! So yes every morning I wake up, make my celery juice (see below), turn on my sauna and sit in it for anywhere from 30 mins to an hour. It helps SO MUCH with my Lyme joint pain and fatigue… it literally eliminates so much of the pain, puffiness, and heaviness (literally and figuratively) I wake up with every morning. It is EVERYTHING !

2. Drink celery juice! Ahhh celery juice, the best in the world. If you are not a celery juice person or you just can’t stand it, then any green juice in the morning will do. I like celery specifically for its incredible benefits with skin, digestion, cell regeneration, liver detox, anti-inflammatory properties, and beyond. Say what you may about celery juice, but it has singlehandedly healed me from SEVERE eczema and cystic acne, and helps me immensely every day with digestion, skin, energy, symptoms of Lyme and EBV, and beyond.

If you want to learn more about it listen, to my two episodes with Anthony William of the Medical Medium on TBB Podcast! Also, I drink 16 oz every morning minimum, which is recommended for those of us who are healing.

Celery juice specifically has changed my woooorld. Take my word on this. And give it some time. It is not an overnight fix, but 5-6 months in and you will realize that so much has changed- skin, digestion, EBV, fatigue, etc. Trust me.

3. Get outside in nature. This one is a non-negotiable. On days that I don’t get outside and plant my feet into the earth, I am a different person entirely. Nature gives me that breath of fresh air that I so desperately need. Even if I only have the energy to get outside briefly, 10 minutes is better than nothing. I love to walk, hike, and ideally plant my feet directly into the sand or the soil or grass somewhere. A great way to do this right now is to have a picnic outside or go on a walk with a friend.

Whenever I start to feel stress and anxiety creep in, I get outside. In my healing journey I discovered forest bathing… which literally means spending time in a forest and soaking in the negative ions and high frequency vibrations from the trees, plants, soil, wind, and animals in nature. I believe many of us get sick because we are being called back to nature. Nature is everything.

This is also when I MOVE! Movement everyday for me is so key. Either outside or inside for a MWH workout or a yoga flow… so, so, so needed. And I am always walking! As my husband says, I go on at least 5 walks a day (on a good day)!

4. Lymphatic facial massage. I love giving myself a daily lymphatic facial massage, to get that drainage moving. Not just to reduce puffiness in appearance but mostly to relieve pressure in my sinuses (chronic histamine issues… my Lyme people get me) and the extreme tightness I experience daily in my jaw. I LOVE using my Wildling Beauty gua sha crystal for this along with a light facial oil like jojoba. Sometimes I even do this in my sauna but it is always part of my morning or evening routine, and on the days I don’t do it I really notice the difference.

5. I optimize my digestion. I do this in a lot of ways, but one of those ways is with Arrae herbal supplements for bloating. Hot tip… they also have supps for Calm which is amazing on those high anxiety days (which seem to be a lot lately). I LOOOVE my Arrae Bloat capsules! They are full of potent digestive herbs like ginger, dandelion root, lemon balm, peppermint, and slippery elm. The founder is in TBB Tribe, Siffat, and she is amazing! Since I have started taking these my bloat has gone way down and I am love, love, loving how I feel after every meal. Such a game changer. I also drink digestive teas all day long which we will get to!

6. I eat plant based… obvi. And food combine! You guys know I am all about that SOS-free, vegan life. Eating in this anti-inflammatory way has changed my life. It has also made me deeply passionate about the vegan cause for the animals and the environment. I know at this stage in my vegan journey I could never go back. I also food combine which helps immensely with how I feel and keeps my inflammatory Lyme symptoms at bay! More on this in my 22 Day Detox Program!

I could talk about this for days but the plant based life honestly makes me so happy- I am so passionate about it I could burst. Food combining really changed the game for me when it comes to eating light to heavy… so I feel more light and energized all day long, ending the day with my biggest, most nutrient-dense meal!

7. Drink digestive teas. I am a tea drinker all day long. My main go-to’s are peppermint, lemon balm, red raspberry leaf (especially during my cycle), Egyptian licorice, ginger, lemon, you name it! I am ALWAYS sipping on tea. At night I like to drink a tea called Smooth Move that really helps with digestion. If you have Lyme or another chronic illness you know that sometimes digestion just literally crawls to a halt. We are dealing with a body, immune system, and stomach that needs a lot of support. So that Smooth Move tea most nights helps me a TON!

8. Surround myself with high vibe loved ones. I mean this is just a given. When I am feeling really sick and unwell I can get into a reclusive mode where I fear that doing anything with anyone will deplete me to the point of no return. That is a really sad place to be, and after years of dipping in and out of that place I just try to not let myself go there anymore. Of course sometimes I still do, and alone time is amazing and something I so cherish, but having my close friends, family and Jonathan to lean in has been everything in my healing journey. The more time I spend with people I love, the better.

Now that being said, it has to be the right people!! People who are not on my frequency always tend to leave me feeling exhausted AF. So keeping those high vibe friendships close is where it’s at.

9. Coffee enemas daily! This is huuuuuuge. You have seen me talk a lot about digestion in this post. I do a coffee enema probably 5 days out of the week. Some weeks I do them every single day. This helps stimulate glutathione in the body, increases liver detox through the bowels, and so much more. Head here to read all about coffee enemas and how to do them!! Also, they are a big part of my 22 day detox!!

10. SLEEP. This is another given, but one I am very much still working on. I am trying to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. If you guys saw on IG… Jonathan literally bribed me with a purse that I have been dying for so that I would wake up at 8am every day in the month of June. And it worked!! I also take Cured Nutrition CBD every evening before bed… their mint tincture! (Code BLONDE for a discount).

So there you have it my loves! My top 10 go-to’s! Save this for whenever you may be having a down day and needing a little extra boost, or for when you’re wondering what I have done to get to this next stage of healing. I hope you love it. Would love any and all thoughts below, or anything I missed. Love you guys to the moon!

I was laying in bed reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle, halfway trying to ignore the searing pain pulsing through every muscle, joint, and bone of my body. Halfway feeling the pain’s presence, always feeling its presence because it is always, always there. It felt so blissful to rest, like really rest. For once even though I was in excrutiating pain my nervous system somehow felt comfortable and relaxed, and I allowed my entire being to breathe deeper and sink into my pillowy bed.

Despite feeling relaxed, in the back of my mind there is always one thing blaring loud and clear: I’m sick, I’m sick, I’m sick, I’m in pain, this is not normal, will this ever end, how will I go on like this, suck it up, you have to deal with it, this is your reality. On a never ending loop.

This prolonged quarantine time has been interesting for me with Lyme disease because all I have hoped for and fantasized about with my schedule for the last handful of years has kind of come true (in a weird way)… having nowhere to be, with no additional pressure to be “on” or to say yes to things that my body in many ways just cannot and will not do.

Now with starting to be out and about again a bit more and re-entering the world in my own way, my body is on high alert. I feel exhausted all over again, without the exhaustion ever having gone away in the first place.

And when I say exhausted I don’t just mean tired… I mean like ravished deep in my bones exhaustion, impossible to lift an arm for a glass of water, bone deep, crushing fatigue. It is terrifying. Do I talk about it a lot? No. Do you see it on my social media when I am laughing and jogging with my husband and recording podcasts and trying to be a functioning human adult? No. But is it there, behind my smile, every waking second? …Yeah.

So you can imagine my shock when I got to a passage in Glennon’s book where she writes about her first encounter with Elizabeth Gilbert. Two of my favorite writers, so first of all it is my nerdy author dream to think about them meeting let alone lay my eyes on what the passage actually said!!

In the passage Glennon describes their first conversation, when Liz asked her what brought her to Naples, Florida. Glennon’s response is, “I got neurological Lyme disease a few years ago. My entire body shut down, and I was in bed for two years and popping fifty pills a day. I went to stay in my friend’s place in Naples, and I felt so much better. I moved there temporarily, and I was able to ditch the pills, so I just stayed. I’ve always known I wanted to live by the beach. I guess women have to almost die before we give ourselves permission to live how we want.”

I GUESS WOMEN HAVE TO ALMOST DIE BEFORE WE GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION TO LIVE HOW WE WANT.

UMMMM !!!! GLENNON !! HELL TO THE YES.

You guys, I was shook. I am still shook.

First of all, I did not know that Glennon had suffered from neurological Lyme. I have been a fan of her writing for years, but I somehow missed this key piece of info. Secondly, this line of writing spoke to my very core in a way that is truly indescribable.

The Messy Truth

Those of you who have followed me throughout my Lyme journey, and even before I got sick with Lyme, have witnessed my unbecoming. I am not who I once was. I have had a handful of near death experiences being sick, but none of those quite come close to feeling half dead every single day of my life.

I know, it’s depressing. I wish it weren’t true and I hate writing it. It’s just a fact. And while I really dislike being anything but positive and optimistic with you guys, as my dear friend Biet Simkin reminded me the other day, “Babe, feel it all. You are not a robot.”

When I showed Jonathan that line about having to almost die before giving myself permission to live how I want to live he instinctively said, “No, that’s not you,” at the thought. And I said, “…Yes it is.” And trust me, I get it!! It is so f*cking hard for the people who love us and show up for us every day and see us at our best, our worst, and everything in between to accept how much pain we are really in. Because to accept it means feeling the hurt too.

I would hate to know anyone I loved was in this much pain. But reading Glennon’s book is reminding me that pain is beautiful. Pain is feeling. Pain is human.

This year in particular I have gone through a lot of phases in relation to Lyme. I have experienced the “I am not going to talk about being sick anymore and I regret ever sharing about Lyme on my blog / social media at all” phase to the “I refuse to be sick and I will only acknowledge my good days both publicly and privately” phase to the “I am doing one more goddamn treatment for Lyme if it’s the last thing I do and then I am done treating it and living in the hell of it forever” to “okay I actually feel like scum of the earth and as a Reflector being I can’t keep this to myself anymore no matter how much I try” and so many other phases. On and on. Another loop.

Anyway, in reading that line I really broke down. I tend to look at everyone I admire (Glennon Doyle being way high on that list) and think, “What an awesome, amazing, inspiring life. If only I had that kind of energy. I miss having that kind of energy. Will I ever have the energy to be a real human again?”

So reading that she, Glennon Doyle, one of my biggest inspirations and one of the world’s most powerful women no doubt, had to overcome the same Lyme-sick exhaustion I am now having to overcome… that hit me right in the heart. And it affirms so much to me — I really feel that we get sick in order to be woken up. Spiritually, emotionally, psychically, all of it. And if you know much about Glennon then you know she is spiritually AWAKE and living her best, most aligned, most human, most real and raw and messy-beautiful life.

I have given myself permission to do a lot of things since getting sick. Like SLOW WAY DOWN, take so much more time for myself, say “no” to things it previously would have horrified me to say no to, cuddle Hudson for hours upon waking up rather than jump right into “being productive,” take several baths a day, focus on the integrity of my brand vs. growing a large company, do a lot lot lot less… but I really have so much more to do on this front.

There is so much I yearn for that I am not currently doing. Writing this soul-deep kind of stuff is one of those things. But if I were to really look in the mirror and ask myself what I still need to give myself permission to do … a lot of things would come right up.

So today Glennon Doyle inspired me to share the truth with you guys. Because positivity is great but honesty is so, so much greater. The truth is…

Some days I am just not okay. Some days I am really, really, really not okay. I worry constantly that this pain will never go away, that I will never again have the energy to spend an entire day out of bed without wanting to gauge my eyes out, that I can go to a family event and not have to curl up on the couch watching everyone talk and spend time together and wonder how they do it… how they have the energy to be in their bodies, present, like living life ain’t no thang.

I wonder if I will ever be able to make plans without having to worry that I’ll have to cancel them, or the much deeper stuff like what kind of mom I will be able to be or how my body will handle being pregnant in the hopefully near-ish future if I can’t even handle the way I feel right now. I also wonder when my stomach will not feel like it has daggers piercing my intestines every time I eat or even look at food?

It’s a lot of worrying, I know. Sometimes I put the worrying away and live in the moment and go on a magical walk with a friend and it feels great. Sometimes I just don’t have that luxury. Some days are great, some days I really feel amazing. I choose to share those days with all of you, and I am happy to do that because it gets me through the harder days.

The truth is… messy. If I were to tell you the whole truth it would fill up pages and pages and pages of a whole book. That is my plan.

In the meantime, trying to tell the truth via one Instagram post, blog post, or email newsletter is just… hard. It feels incomplete. But I guess that is what happens when you commit to sharing your soul with the world. It is always going to feel a bit incomplete and then these heart spill moments will give some insight into what’s going on on a deeper level.

I do feel on the precipice of something deeper, a new level of unbecoming. It has been knocking on my door for a while. It HURTS. It is probably why I find myself crying every day lately, why the ache of it all feels so much stronger than it usually does. I am face to face with it. That’s the real, not fun, but real truth.

I have so much more to say, but I hope my little truths today can spark some awareness or at least some inspiration to face your own truths. In the midst of everything going on in the world right now, I know we are all feeling hard. The truth can be difficult, messy, and feel a bit impossible sometimes. But the beauty is that we are never alone.

Thank you Glennon for reminding me that I am not alone even when I feel like I am the only freaking person in the world who feels the way that I do. I will be manifesting the same wide open awareness to live the exact life I want to be living. Thank you for inspiring me.

I hope so much that I can do the same for you, my sweet reader. I love you all so much. XO

This week’s TBB Podcast solo episode on spiritual awakening, channeling, 5D and beyond got me thinking: it’s time to go way deeper on the blog, Instagram, podcast, and basically… everywhere.

I usually save the super deep things for the pod, whether it’s channeling angels or talking about Pleiadians, and every time I put it ALLL out there I think, “Okay, people are either going to be into it or they’re not.” And I can usually tell pretty quickly by the response to an episode or a post if you guys are into it.

You know what you guys are always into? THE DEEP SHIT !! The channeling stuff! The Pleiadian stories, the awakening journey, the ever evolving process of waking up, and then continuing to wake up more. The stuff I always second guess myself before I publish, but then I receive more messages about it touching your heart than I could ever imagine.

You know what you guys are not into? The boring, the safe, the monotonous, the same-as-5-years-ago-and-same-as-everyone-else-online-but-very-comfortable kind of content.

And guess what, I am the same! I am bored to tears by a lot of content online and in podcasts right now, and even on TV and in books. I’m like… give me something deeper, people. The TV shows that have deeply captivated me in recent years are few and far between (like The OA!! Give me more of that!), and the books I find myself pouring over are always memoirs about people who have simply woken up to who they’ve always been (insert Glennon Doyle’s newest book, Untamed, which I cannot put down).

Sometimes I find myself going quiet on the blog because what I really want to say would require me to write a whole essay. But then I started thinking, after seeing the response to this week’s podcast episode, why put that pressure on myself? Why not show up on the blog whenever I want, or all the time like I used to, because I always have something to say? Even if it’s not perfect, even if it’s messy, because isn’t that what writing and sharing is about anyway?

So here we are and I am so happy to be here. I have always said that my favorite posts have always been the brain dump posts. The straight from the heart onto the page life update kind of posts. And right now life is weird!! I think we can all agree on that? There is so much going on, I still don’t know exactly whether to come out of my quarantine comfy bubble or stay in it, and the climate of the world is heavy to say the least.

SO HERE GOES THE CURRENT BRAIN DUMP!

I have felt on the precipice for so long of reaching a much deeper layer of myself, and now I am finally here. Doing this deeper work is not fun, it’s pure shadow work. I am seeing every side of myself with extreme clarity.

Things feel HEAVY — down to my very twisted intestines (literally) and my stomach feels like an absolute wreck soaking in the state of the world. I am seeing a new Gastroenterologist today (will definitely keep you guys updated) because it literally feels like there are daggers in my stomach which I know energetically is only the next phase of UPLEVELING. But physically… damn, that shit is painful.

I am both severely exhausted and wide awake. Severely exhausted in the sense that this Lyme battle has crushed me in a way that it is hard to explain in words. While I am healing in many ways, it’s like I have reached the edge of a long battle and have absolutely collapsed. I am waking up much earlier every day, which is a sign of health and commitment to promises I’ve made to myself, but am working + doing all things from bed because I can’t find the strength or stamina to move a single muscle before about 2pm every day.

The pain is searing. Joint pain, brain fog, out of body aggressive type of physical pain. The stomach stuff though — holy mother F there is nothing else like that kind of pain on this earth that I have experienced. Plus, anxiety is raging. Always something us sensitive souls will deal with but !! the anxiety !! right now is wild.

I am wide awake in the sense that when the negative nancy in my brain    tries to take over and tell me I am anything but healthy, successful, beautiful, a good wife, a good friend, a good daughter… on and on… I can shut that shit down immediately. It’s not easy, but I have my tools. I tell myself I can do better than that, I can choose again. And in all of those instances it is much easier to return to a state of love than ever before.

Also I am wide awake in the sense that ideas and creativity are flowing to me with ease. I have so much inspiration pumping through my veins. I am not too stuck on what I am doing “next” work wise because I know whatever makes its way through will be exactly what it needs to be. Plus, my inspo for the podcast has increased tenfold lately, probably (definitely) because I am feeling way more me and it’s time to evolve to the next level, all of us together.

Most of all, I am so happy to be very much reconnected to my spiritual nature. For a while there, for a lot of this year actually, I disconnected a bit from it. Maybe as a means of survival or just trying to live that faster paced life again. But due to a series of events in the WORLD at large as well as in my own life and body, I have been forced to go deeper again. And now I am so unbelievably glad I did. I see now that there was no other way.

My daily goal and inspiration is to remain in a high vibrational state of consciousness where ideas flow with ease, where love is the only lens through which I can see, and where sickness cannot physically exist. It is not easy to stay in this place or even to get there, but every time I get a glimpse the whole journey is worth it.

SO all of this to say, you can expect me to be coming back to my roots in a big way on the blog, podcast, Insta, and beyond. Expect lots of channeled messages, writing from the heart, plant based recipes when I feel called, and spiritual content galore. But like also don’t place too many expectations ya know because I kind of change every minute it seems.

The MOST special part of it all is that this week’s podcast ep was really geared toward you guys — toward all of us — because I know we’ve all been on this journey of awakening together. I mean, we literally started it together nearly four years ago when I started podcasting, over seven years ago now on the blog. So the messages I have received from you guys about being on this journey  T O G E T H E R  and what that means to you — that is all I freaking need in this life. It makes me feel so fulfilled, grateful, and happy. So keep them coming!!!

You on this journey of evolving with me? What are your requests on the blog / pod? I am all ears. And if you haven’t listened to this week’s episode yet, tune in here! If you are not yet signed up for my new and improved weekly newsletter, sign up here. It’s fun AF. LOVE you all, XOXO 

I want to say time flies, but I also feel like I’ve been doing this all of my life. The crazy thing is, even before I had this blog I was “blogging” for as long as I can remember.

The other day I dug up my old health and fitness blog called “Jordan Health & Fitness” (lol) that I created in college to share healthy recipes, workouts, musings about staying healthy in college and finding the best yoga studios in LA and stories from being the Director of Health & Fitness of my sorority, Alpha Phi.

I barely remembered that I’d had it because it’s always just felt like second nature to me to live this healthy lifestyle but to share what I’m doing and learning. Before that blog, I had “Meanwhile in Florence…” which was a travel blog about my study abroad experience in Italy and our travels. I remember pressuring myself to write 8,000+ word posts so I wouldn’t leave out a single detail of our experiences there which also made blogging very tedious and not so fun…. LOL.

Not to mention, the hosting sites of my old blogs were not great (I had no idea what I was doing back then!!) so it took some SERIOUS digging to even find them!! The Florence one is gone but I remember that one fondly because I felt like such a serious “blogger” and shared every post to my Facebook, MySpace, all the places.

Speaking of MySpace… before I even started blogging I was a HUGE MySpace girl. I took it extremely seriously to decorate my page, learn all the codes and hacks to have the best colors, fonts, music, artsy photos, massive Top 8 (mroe like Top 50 with all of the hacks and codes I used), and I took it upon myself to ~*tYpE LiKe tHiS aLL oF tHe TiMe bC iT wAs tHe COoLLLL tHiNg 2 Do!!!!!*~

And pre-MySpace, it was Buddy Profiles on AIM. PLEASE tell me someone remembers this!!! Same thing there, I learned all of the backend coding so that I could use the rarest fonts and rainbow colors. I used Dashboard Confessional and Taking Back Sunday quotes in my bio and away messages like it was my job. And I think I left my AIM screen up 24/7 with various detailed away messages so I could always share what I was doing or what was on my heart.

Am I crazy or is that… BLOGGING?!??! IT ISSSSSS.

So that’s why when I say I have been blogging for 7 years but it feels like a lifetime, it really started in 4th grade when my brother made me my @jojoyounger screenname for AOL. I vividly remember only one or two of my friends had a screenname or even an email address at that time (Eleni and Kayla, I am looking at you) so I would message my friends’ parents on there just to utilize my AOL messenger.

It’s wild looking back at it all. Now that I know my Human Design (REFLECTOR !!) I know that I was living my best Reflector life all along. It has always brought me so much joy to share my life and my heart with the people around me, whether no one was reading or now, hundreds of thousands of you.

Which brings me to my next point — THANK YOU.

I may have been blogging for a lifetime before TBB, but it’s you guys that have made TBB what it is. A community, a place to share our hearts, a hub for spirituality and wellness and going deep, a brand that has ranged from a clothing line, to books, ebooks, an APP, events, a podcast, retreats, Facebook groups, courses, and of course the forever mothership — THE BLOG.

I am forever grateful I started this blog (really originally my Instagram account) sitting in an airport in Maui on June 18th, 2013.

I was a brand new college graduate in love with the vegan lifestyle, and the vegan blogging community was JUST starting to get a bit popular and a select few people were sharing recipes and musings on Instagram. I had this thought while I was in Hawaii that I could do the same thing. I had plenty of food photos on my phone, I loved creating recipes, food styling, teaching people how to live healthier, and of course I loved sharing my life.

So boom, on a whim, @theblondevegan was created. I spent the summer creating content all day every day. It was a DIE HARD passion from Day One. A few months into it I decided to write a Facebook post asking if anyone I knew could help me create a website… and I got a message from a guy I went to college with saying he could do it.

We kind of dated for a bit   and he took it upon himself to be sort of a business advisor on top of building my website. He saw the blog traffic on the very first day and said, “Jo… You know you could make money off of this? We should put ads on your website.”

So we did and the revenue was super minimal but I was not in it for the money and keep in mind the blogging industry as we know it wasn’t even close to existing quite yet. I was just thrilled to get free vegan protein powders and was stunned every time someone new found my blog and told me it was impacting their life for the better.

Then the same guy who built my website came to visit me in NYC and gave me a real talk about how people were kind of starting to blog for a living. I couldn’t believe it. I had JUST committed to grad school for creative writing and was halfway into my first semester… but the only thing I could focus on was my blog already. Now someone was telling me I could actually do this for work AND fun?

I finished out my first year of grad school but the rest was history. I was hooked. By that time I had created vegan cleanse programs and we had launched our first batch of TBV Apparel t-shirts. If you weren’t here back then, think cheeky health-related sayings on shirts which may be a-plenty now, but back then let me tell you they were very original. “Health is the New Black,” “Yoga Junkie, and “Oh KALE Yeah!” Were some faves.

I could tell you my blogging story forever. I plan on writing a book about it one day soon, because this blog has been my baby and has gone through so many iterations. I’ve seen the industry flourish and then blow up during these 7 years, and it has been the coolest thing to be in it as it has grown. I fully believe that everything happens for a reason… and creating TBV (and then TBB) when I did has been nothing short of one of the top two greatest gifts in my life (number one being J + Hud obvi).

So let’s get into 7 things I have learned in 7 years of blogging!!

1. The best things are born out of pure passion. This blog was created not for the sake of creating a career or even growing an audience, but to share what I love most- health, fitness, spirituality, and my heart. I have seen many blogs come and go because they aren’t rooted in that passion. I heard something lately that said, “Brands have to have a SOUL. If they don’t, they won’t last.” That is the ultimate truth, and TBB will always have a living, breathing soul of its own – which is my proudest accomplishment of all.

2. You never have to do what everyone else is doing. Actually, it’s even better if you don’t. I have done things quite differently than a lot of other bloggers in the sense that right out of the gate I tried a LOT of things— having managers, agents, employees, business partners, so many ventures, I was really all over the place and so excited to be living this entrepreneurial life. Over the years I have REIGNED it in. And now I keep things very tight around here, I really only work with family and a select few people on TBB. My goal is not to have a huge office of people but rather to keep things true to how they started. That is what makes me happy and that’s what I focus on building upon every day.

3. Let your blog grow WITH YOU!!! I can’t even begin to name the ways I have changed and evolved over the years. I went from a passionate diehard vegan to non-vegan and back to veganism, but in the process I have changed. I have opened up psychically, gotten married, and now I am freaking 29 vs. 23 when I started. In short… everything has changed, and my blog has grown right along with me. Have I lost so many followers and readers along the way because I am not who I once was? YES. Is that okay? Yes. I believe our true audience and who needs to be here reading will always find their way here.

4. Breaks are good. When I first started blogging it was all about working 24/7 and never taking a break. I would stay up all night creating content and forego many, many other things in my life to be “on” all the time at events, festivals, traveling for work, photo shoots etc. etc. A few years ago I realized that wasn’t a life I wanted to continue living, and I made some changes. I never again want to work my ass off at the expense of missing important events and memories in my close circle’s life. Oh and the real breaks I have taken for my health have been GOLDEN.

5. It’s okay to pivot. I used to be so afraid that if I switched up my content in a big way people wouldn’t be into it anymore. It turns out, you guys are the freaking best and we have developed such a friendship over the years — many of you are here for it all, and you are ON THIS JOURNEY with me. When I pivot, many of you are pivoting in your lives at the same time. I am really just sharing the journey that so many of us are currently on and if I tried to keep it the “same” as the past it wouldn’t be true to reality.

6. Long term partnerships with brands you love are the JAM versus one off things. For a while I did a lot of one off partnerships, many with brands I loved and many with brands that I wasn’t so into. It was a nice way to make $$ for a while but there is no soul in doing that. Now, I am only interested in creating lasting, real partnerships with brands I love that have to meet certain super specific criteria. For a few years now I have seen the importance of the long game vs. the short game, which also helps keep the brand true to its core vs. ever being about $$.

7. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE AUDIENCE!! You guys are my true friends from all over the world. I mean it when I say that you guys feel like my best friends who know me inside and out. When I meet you guys out in public sometimes people say, “I hope this isn’t weird but I really feel like I know you so well,” and I always say “YOU DO!!” The Internet is a wild place but it is a beautiful place too. At the end of the day you guys have made this blog what it is — a brand with readers — so thank you, I love you, I am always here for you and right there with you.

Wow. HEART SPILLLLLL. AHHHHH!!! Pleeeeease tell me below how long you’ve been here, how you found me, your thoughts on this story, all of it!!! TBB Tribe is my heart and soul. Cheers to 7 more years and beyond, and to continuing to grow TBB right alongside of me. Maybe in 7 years I will be mommy blogging ?!?! But I will never lose the core and foundation of where this all started. Love you all HUGELY. Thank you.

Have you heard this week’s podcast episode about my health coaching and holistic healing journey? I answered a bunch of your awesome q’s that you sent in about healing including… why I no longer drink alcohol, how to eliminate the “fruit fear” from your life, how to create a career in wellness, how to find clients as a health coach (hint… let them find you!), finding body confidence, how my life has changed since I wrote my first book, and so much more.

It’s a fun one. I am loving the solo episodes lately – it feels like we are just in a 1-on-1 conversation together and it is such a great place for me to address your questions in detail. Also, with everything going on in the world right now the solo vibes feel nice and calm compared to the cadence of other conversations. I am a fan who else is into the solos?!

Today on the blog I wanted to get into my health coaching journey in more personal detail, and share with you what inspired me to sign up for health coaching school in the first place… 6 years ago now! Time has flown!

I also want to let you know that if you are interested in signing up for Nutrition School, I am able to offer you $2,000 off of your tuition + free gifts from me (detox program for everyone & a free 25 min Skype sesh for five people!!!) if you sign up through this link! You can also take a sample class there to see what you think of the program!

Okay… let’s get into it!

6 years ago I was in a tricky spot. I was 23, had just decided to leave grad school to pursue my blog full time (without hardly making a cent to my name yet, by the way), was about to move from NYC back to LA, and my family was going through a lot of challenges that happened to be weighing very, very heavy on my heart.

My NYC Days, Right When I Began Health Coaching School!

At the time I was following a few people in the wellness and spirituality blogging space who inspired me to no end (and still do) — like Gabby Bernstein, Kris Carr, and my friend Arielle of Be Well with Arielle. What did all of these ladies have in common? They had all done the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. And they were all massively successful in health, wellness, spirituality, coaching, writing books, the list goes on…!

After looking into it for months and hearing about it over and over again (Law of Attraction is so real and was so happening!), I decided I NEEDED to sign up for the program. It didn’t matter to me that I barely had a dime to speak of, I was going to make it happen. I remember sitting on my bed in my TEENY TINY bedroom in New York City (barely big enough for the bed itself) calling my dad one evening and telling him my plans to sign up for nutrition school.

He had a lot of questions, but ultimately he was supportive and I think he was very relieved at the end of the day that I would be doing more schooling to give myself some credibility behind this whole wellness blogging thing. In true Jordan fashion, I fired off all of the reasons why it was a “must” and got myself (and him) psyched on the idea. I paid for it with money leftover from deciding I was not going to do my second year of grad school, and made it happen.

Right after that phone call with my dad I got online and signed up, and just a few days later I began the Spring session of their program — just as I was wrapping up my first (and only) year of my Creative Writing MFA at The New School. It was so exciting!! I remember listening to lectures from some of my idols like Deepak Chopra, Geneen Roth, and the founder of IIN Joshua Rosenthal as I laid on my bed looking out at the bustling West Village thinking… This is my path. Finally, I have landed on what I truly love more than anything. And I can help people with this, too! And myself!

Nutrition is something I have been interested in since I was very young. I grew up with extreme stomach issues and food intolerances that always had me searching for the WHY behind the terrible way that I felt every day. For me, it always came back to food. As a child I came down with many mysterious illnesses, including severe pneumonia and whooping cough that kept me out of school for almost my entire third grade school year. Later in life I learned that I grew up in a moldy home, which definitely weakened my immune system.

While that is NOT a good thing, I have to say that growing up in that moldy home was ultimately a great gift in my life. I spent nearly 29 years wondering why my immune system was weaker than seemingly everyone else I knew, why Lyme disease (which I was diagnosed with in 2018) overtook my entire life and left me bedridden for three years in my 20’s, why alcohol simply doesn’t metabolize in my body, why I was always the “sick one” among my family and friends… and then one day not so long ago I learned (from my dad!!!!) that there was mold growing under my childhood bedroom. That no one had ever mentioned to me until now!

That probably is not the sole reason that my body became as toxic as it did and why I experienced such a total health breakdown in the last few years, but it certainly didn’t help! So while I was always sensitive and always erring on the side of sickness until full-blown chronic illness really hit me hard at 25, I have that same sensitivity and sickness to thank for the greatest passion in my life to this day. Wellness.

I always looked around at my totally healthy friends who could drink and eat fast food and stay out super late and feel just fine, while all of these things made me feel like I had been by my a Mack truck. And I always felt like that was my weakness — but around this time I realized this was not a weakness. This was actually my gift. Yes, it made life a little harder on many days and in many moments but it is what guided me toward my true path and passion in this life… health, wellness, and healing.

So! I dove into Nutrition School, moved back to LA, started blogging full-time, started charging for my services and working with brands, picked up my first few health coaching clients (in NYC before I moved!), and started a whole new life. AND IT WAS SO EXCITING!

I spent that year learning all about nutrition, business, spirituality, holistic healing, and over 100 different dietary theories from leading experts in the health and wellness field. I then applied that knowledge to my blog, my healing memoir, and the cleanse programs I’ve created in the years since to help other people heal. Not to mention, I think I use that knowledge and confidence I picked up through what I learned in IIN on social media every single day!

Then I got sick… and went on quite the journey. An inner journey.

Life was good. Really good. For a lot of years. I started a podcast, which became a #1 health podcast! I wrote a memoir. I went on a book tour! Then, 3 years ago… I got REALLY sick. It started with eczema, which turned into full body hives, which turned into chronic fatigue, joint pain, insomnia, brain fog, intense gut issues, and an overwhelming desire to crawl out of my skin.

I didn’t have it in me anymore to keep blogging and working on the same level I had been for years – or hardly at all. I withdrew from everyone and everything in my life. Western medicine couldn’t help me or give me answers and even my trusted healers were at a loss as to what was really going on with me. Then, long story short, after 10 months of pain and misery and nearly giving up more times than I can count, I found my Lyme disease specialist (LLMD) – Dr. Erica Lehman. She saved my life.

Dr. Lehman diagnosed me with Lyme, mold, parasites, gut dysbiosis, co-infections of Lyme like Babesia, Bartonella, and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, as well as several nutritional deficiencies and severe hormone imbalances. All due to Lyme. Maybe even due to growing up in a moldy home which wrecked my immune system?!

For the last several years I have been healing. And learning a LOT about myself in the process. Shedding layers, breaking down, hitting rock bottom after rock bottom and barely able to keep myself afloat. I remember saying to my dear friend Sahara Rose when she was over at my house to podcast one day, “I want what you have… I want that energy and life force and inner beautiful creativity that’s guiding you. I feel like I am not living in my highest vibration at all right now.”

And she said, “Yeah, because you’re in the messy part of your journey! You’re in the thick of it. You will come out, and when that time comes it will be everything.”

Finally Healing

And damn, was she ever right. I kept going through it and kept healing, and finally… at the end of 2019, I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. I had found the SOS-free (salt oil sugar free) way of life the year prior and had been diehard about this way of eating – which helped a lot with inflammation, but holistic healing takes time! My brain fog was finally lifting as well as my joint pain… and I was feeling like myself again.

I ended up writing my 22 Day Detox Your Life program that traces everything that helped me heal – from the SOS-free diet, to detox protocols, to food combining, to supplements, to spirituality, to shedding layers, and beyond. Finishing a creative project like this after years of not being able to use my brain properly FELT. AMAZING!!! It was the best feeling in the entire world.

And now, I feel like my life has come full circle in so many ways! Through my detox program, I am health coaching again! I may not currently be seeing people one on one, but when they enter my program we develop a rapport and I am there for them with any questions they have or any support they need. This summer I am planning to release a more intimate healing circle where I will take on coaching clients in groups who are healing from chronic illness or inflammation the way I did… and I cannot wait!

I have IIN to thank for this knowledge, confidence, and ultimately for the tools to build my business and evolve and PIVOT in all of the ways that I have! From using my health coaching education to be a health coach in the beginning, to using it to feel more credible and educated as a wellness blogger and podcaster and writer, to finally bringing it full circle 6 years later with my current interests and loves in the plant-based nutrition sphere and helping others heal — I couldn’t be more happy with my decision to do it all those years ago. Or with where I am now.

To learn more about my health coaching and healing story, head to my latest podcast episode here! I also did a very special free live Zoom webinar with the Head of Brand of IIN, Jim Curtis which you can find here (the password for the Zoom is 6K%m*XD0) if you want to learn more!

If you are interested in signing up for IIN, head here to learn more and also to get the special $2,000 discount I am able to offer you guys + free gifts from me!!!