Hi, my loves! How is everyone’s week going?
This week’s TBB Podcast solo episode on spiritual awakening, channeling, 5D and beyond got me thinking: it’s time to go way deeper on the blog, Instagram, podcast, and basically… everywhere.
I usually save the super deep things for the pod, whether it’s channeling angels or talking about Pleiadians, and every time I put it ALLL out there I think, “Okay, people are either going to be into it or they’re not.” And I can usually tell pretty quickly by the response to an episode or a post if you guys are into it.
You know what you guys are always into? THE DEEP SHIT !! The channeling stuff! The Pleiadian stories, the awakening journey, the ever evolving process of waking up, and then continuing to wake up more. The stuff I always second guess myself before I publish, but then I receive more messages about it touching your heart than I could ever imagine. 👽
You know what you guys are not into? The boring, the safe, the monotonous, the same-as-5-years-ago-and-same-as-everyone-else-online-but-very-comfortable kind of content.
And guess what, I am the same! I am bored to tears by a lot of content online and in podcasts right now, and even on TV and in books. I’m like… give me something deeper, people. The TV shows that have deeply captivated me in recent years are few and far between (like The OA!! Give me more of that!), and the books I find myself pouring over are always memoirs about people who have simply woken up to who they’ve always been (insert Glennon Doyle’s newest book, Untamed, which I cannot put down).
Sometimes I find myself going quiet on the blog because what I really want to say would require me to write a whole essay. But then I started thinking, after seeing the response to this week’s podcast episode, why put that pressure on myself? Why not show up on the blog whenever I want, or all the time like I used to, because I always have something to say? Even if it’s not perfect, even if it’s messy, because isn’t that what writing and sharing is about anyway?
So here we are and I am so happy to be here. 🙂 I have always said that my favorite posts have always been the brain dump posts. The straight from the heart onto the page life update kind of posts. And right now life is weird!! I think we can all agree on that? There is so much going on, I still don’t know exactly whether to come out of my quarantine comfy bubble or stay in it, and the climate of the world is heavy to say the least.
SO HERE GOES THE CURRENT BRAIN DUMP!
I have felt on the precipice for so long of reaching a much deeper layer of myself, and now I am finally here. Doing this deeper work is not fun, it’s pure shadow work. I am seeing every side of myself with extreme clarity.
Things feel HEAVY — down to my very twisted intestines (literally) and my stomach feels like an absolute wreck soaking in the state of the world. I am seeing a new Gastroenterologist today (will definitely keep you guys updated) because it literally feels like there are daggers in my stomach which I know energetically is only the next phase of UPLEVELING. But physically… damn, that shit is painful.
I am both severely exhausted and wide awake. Severely exhausted in the sense that this Lyme battle has crushed me in a way that it is hard to explain in words. While I am healing in many ways, it’s like I have reached the edge of a long battle and have absolutely collapsed. I am waking up much earlier every day, which is a sign of health and commitment to promises I’ve made to myself, but am working + doing all things from bed because I can’t find the strength or stamina to move a single muscle before about 2pm every day.
The pain is searing. Joint pain, brain fog, out of body aggressive type of physical pain. The stomach stuff though — holy mother F there is nothing else like that kind of pain on this earth that I have experienced. Plus, anxiety is raging. Always something us sensitive souls will deal with but !! the anxiety !! right now is wild.
I am wide awake in the sense that when the negative nancy in my brain 🧠 tries to take over and tell me I am anything but healthy, successful, beautiful, a good wife, a good friend, a good daughter… on and on… I can shut that shit down immediately. It’s not easy, but I have my tools. I tell myself I can do better than that, I can choose again. And in all of those instances it is much easier to return to a state of love than ever before.
Also I am wide awake in the sense that ideas and creativity are flowing to me with ease. I have so much inspiration pumping through my veins. I am not too stuck on what I am doing “next” work wise because I know whatever makes its way through will be exactly what it needs to be. Plus, my inspo for the podcast has increased tenfold lately, probably (definitely) because I am feeling way more me and it’s time to evolve to the next level, all of us together.
Most of all, I am so happy to be very much reconnected to my spiritual nature. For a while there, for a lot of this year actually, I disconnected a bit from it. Maybe as a means of survival or just trying to live that faster paced life again. But due to a series of events in the WORLD at large as well as in my own life and body, I have been forced to go deeper again. And now I am so unbelievably glad I did. I see now that there was no other way.
My daily goal and inspiration is to remain in a high vibrational state of consciousness where ideas flow with ease, where love is the only lens through which I can see, and where sickness cannot physically exist. It is not easy to stay in this place or even to get there, but every time I get a glimpse the whole journey is worth it. 💜
SO all of this to say, you can expect me to be coming back to my roots in a big way on the blog, podcast, Insta, and beyond. Expect lots of channeled messages, writing from the heart, plant based recipes when I feel called, and spiritual content galore. But like also don’t place too many expectations ya know because I kind of change every minute it seems. 😉
The MOST special part of it all is that this week’s podcast ep was really geared toward you guys — toward all of us — because I know we’ve all been on this journey of awakening together. I mean, we literally started it together nearly four years ago when I started podcasting, over seven years ago now on the blog. So the messages I have received from you guys about being on this journey T O G E T H E R and what that means to you — that is all I freaking need in this life. It makes me feel so fulfilled, grateful, and happy. So keep them coming!!!
You on this journey of evolving with me? What are your requests on the blog / pod? I am all ears. And if you haven’t listened to this week’s episode yet, tune in here! If you are not yet signed up for my new and improved weekly newsletter, sign up here. It’s fun AF. LOVE you all, XOXO