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Why I Don’t Agree With “Cheat Meals”

June 10, 2015

So, it’s no secret that there is some lingo in the healthy living world that drives me up a wall. Anything that encourages people to follow any particular diet that doesn’t allow them to listen to their bodies (other than promoting real foods from the earth, of course), any phrase that encourages restriction, and anything with the word “cheat” in it are among the few that just rub me the wrong way.

A few of the words/phrases I can’t stand, just to name a few: cheat day, cheat meal, thinspo, fitspo, IIFYM, & #gains, among others. One day I’ll do a post on the others, but today’s post is debunking the idea of a “cheat meal.” And just as bad… a “cheat day.”

itsnotacheatitsatreat

Waiiittttt what’s wrong with cheat days? They sound so fun!

Look, I’m all about having variation in our diets. There is no one sized fits all diet regime, and there is no such thing as eating sOOoOooo clean+pure that we are untouchable. Indulging in something decadent and delicious in moderation is beautiful, and it should be part of our lives just like our kale, broccoli, fruits & green juices should be.

I don’t have a problem with treats. If I did, I’d be in big trouble. I like desserts, cookies & raw chocolate (okay, anything chocolate…) way too much to abstain from them 100% entirely for all of time. I did that for several years actually, and all it lead me to was having an eating disorder. What I do have a bit of a problem with is referring to those indulgences as “cheats.”

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When we refer to something as a cheat, technically we are dubbing it “not okay” under regular circumstances. When we call it a cheat, we are reinforcing the fact that in a perfect world we would never touch anything that wasn’t 100% pure, healthy or clean. Basically, we are reinforcing the fact that in order to be worthy then we have to be perfect… when striving for perfection is what trips us up and keeps us from living fully in the moment and being completely happy, satisfied & content with who we ARE, in this moment, right now.

So if it’s not a “cheat,” what is it, then?

It’s a treat!

The word “treat” reinforces a carefree attitude and reminds us that there is nothing wrong with listening to our bodies & indulging in our cravings when the timing feels right. It gives us the power to choose if and when we are going to indulge, and we do so for pleasure and not to feel guilty directly afterward.

There is no “correct” amount of time throughout the week that we should be treating ourselves. These specific diet plans out there that tout eating clean 95% of the time and “cheating” 5% of the time may sound like they are giving us helpful guidelines, but really they are encouraging us to follow someone else’s words rather than listen to our own body. What’s most important for all of us, in this healthy & balanced life that we all deserve, is to eat intuitively. Healthy, well, and also balanced.

There is a popular fitness and nutrition plan out there that encourages a 45-minute “cheat period” each week. When I found that out I laughed out loud. 45 minutes?! I understand that the point is to keep people reigned in from going overboard for an entire “cheat day,” but if you tell someone to eat a certain way all week and then give them 45 minutes to splurge, there is a good chance they might use the full 45 minutes to stuff their face! And even if they don’t, putting the idea in their head that those 45 minutes are “bad” and derailing all of their hard work to eat healthy and workout for the rest of the week is just silly.

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Life is an ebb and flow. We shouldn’t have to live our lives by when we can eat certain foods and when we can’t, and we certainly can’t believe that such a diet is sustainable for a full lifetime. And I’m not in the business of sharing anything with you that isn’t a LIFESTYLE plan– ya feel me?

When we treat ourselves, rather than give ourselves cheats, then we can go with the flow! If all of your friends are going out for fro yo, that sounds like a fab time to have a treat. If your family brings home donuts on a Sunday morning, that sounds like another great time to have a treat. If you are craving healthy foods and you feel like having a warm cinnamon tea for dessert instead of a brownie, that sounds like a FAB time to do just that. You shouldn’t feel like you have to “cheat” just because it’s your 45-minute allotted time slot to do so.

Another reason I’m against “cheat meals,” is because that for someone like me, who has been suffering with tummy problems their whole life, “cheating on” the way I know my body needs to eat in order to thrive is just a terrible idea. I can indulge and have something that my body doesn’t process well, but I will be off balance for days and it won’t be worth it. For me, it’s worth finding what DOES work for me and making all of that within limits, all the time. If my “treats” are never off-limits, then there is no crazy mystifying cloud around them. They are just there, and I can have them when I feel like it and I can not have them when I don’t feel like it!

And because of the particular way that I eat, it just so happens that my treats tend to fall under the uber healthy umbrella. I like (love) frozen dates with raw almond butter, fruit drizzled in raw almond butter, coconut shreds and honey, raw chocolate (I eat it by the fistful!), raw chocolate peanut butter cups, gluten-free peanut butter cookies from the farmer’s market, homemade chocolate chia pudding, and more!

That’s what works for me when I want a treat. I also like to put stevia in all of my tea and many of my smoothies for a sweet midday treat. I have a sweet tooth, and whenever I’ve tried to do the whole “cheat meal” thing it just makes me feel guilty for listening to my body.

We have to show our bodies respect & love by trusting them & listening to them, not by force feeding ourselves something that doesn’t sound good because it’s not “cheat day.”

Who’s with me? It’s time to fall in love with our bodies & the way we treat ourselves. We deserve it. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

And if my reasons weren’t enough, check out these 7 great reasons too!

ALSO, I have to add, my dear friend Sophie Jaffe from The Philosophie is the perfect example of someone who exhibits the, “It’s not a cheat, it’s a treat” mentality. She inspires me every day to live a nutrient-rich, energy-filled life surrounded by amazing people. That’s what it’s all about… not living life from “cheat meal” to “cheat meal”! Check out her site and her products to see an example of living that cheat-free, indulgent, healthy, radiant life.

Would love to hear everyone’s thoughts. What do you think about cheat meals? If you present a good argument about them to me, I would love to hear! 

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44 comments

I Wanna Know what do you think?

  • I love this! Dairy and I have issues but instead of telling myself I can't eat it and falling back into restriction, I indulge once in awhile and tell myself it's ok. It puts my mind at ease and my anxiety
    • Denise, that is the perfect way to go about it! I do the same thing with dairy and occasionally with gluten. And even with sugar! They all bother my stomach, but thinking of them as "off limits" or as a "cheat" is terrible for my anxiety and my relationship with food. Shedding the stigma of "bad vs. good" foods sets us up to live a much happier and healthier life overall!
  • This really hit home for me. Thank you for sharing! Great advice as always :) www.comfortablycasey.com
    • Casey, I'm so glad that the post resonated with you. No need to view our food as "cheats" or something "bad" -- all good, all nourishment! Either for the body or for the soul. Xo
  • The trick is learning to discern the difference between listening to our body, listening to our hearts, listening to our intelligence, and listening to the whims of our minds. Sometimes these align with each other, but often times not, and the results of listening to one 'voice' will usually differ greatly from listening to another. Some results will be more Life-enriching than others. If our intelligence becomes employed solely for coming up with excuses/logical arguments for acting on the mind's seemingly random impulses, neurosis is spawned, and we thus end up wasting so much of our lives in inner battles (such as eating disorders).
    • Yes, so true! We have to strike a balance between all of the above. So important to remain aware of it all so we don't get trapped inside. <3
      • Yep, all about understanding we truly are multifaceted and dynamic living beings, and embracing Life with a desire to nourish and protect the Harmony of all these aspects of us as a Whole, above all else. I never felt the best way to understand Life was by 'dissecting' It, and like to apply the same to understanding ourselves, as glorious little parts of the wonderful Whole of Life!
        • Yes, yes! All about the harmony! You've got the right world view. :) xo
        • B. Jordan, you mentioned acknowledging the different aspects of our being and how they aren't always aligned; and then you spoke of "dissecting" as a less effective way to understand something living. So those two statements seem a bit counter to each other. Could you possibly clarify a little more what you mean ?
          • Certainly! Very good observation, Mi Li & Aishavari :) There's a bit of an irony in play here; that by distinguishing (mentally separating) the various parts of our being, we have the opportunity to equally account for them all. Whereas when we just look at ourselves as the sum of our parts, we tend to overly focus on some elements while neglecting others. This is how we most commonly end up psychologically fragmented and conflicted within. So the idea is to identify the many levels of being we embody, and then to work toward harmonizing them with each other. Such an aspiration in Life is sometimes referred to as 'Holistic Living'. This path of the awakening soul, gradually leading to an inner place of Harmony with the Divine Whole of Life, is the process by which theoretical Knowledge becomes living Wisdom. Some call it 'Enlightenment', others simply call it 'Happiness' or 'Fulfillment', but all those who've found such a place within themselves agree, it is a place of Eternal Harmony. Hope that makes a little more sense, and thank you for pointing out the apparent contradiction. ♥
          • Where is the line between overly dissecting the layers of ourselves and becoming fragmented, versus unfolding ourselves to better syngergize as a Whole ?
          • Yet another excellent question, Mi Li & Aishavari! In my experience, it becomes overly dissecting when we place more focus on the layers, or a particular layer, than we give attention to the relationships between each aspect of ourselves. The relationship between the imagination and the intelligence for example, is the most important thing to know about either of them. Same goes for the relationship between our hearts (ethical concerns), and our bodies (nutrition concerns), and our minds ('treating' ourselves).
          • It helps a lot to think about it that way, because we personally tend to get fixated on a particular part and forget to incorporate the other parts of us when making decisions (( including what to eat )) Thank you for your patience, by the way, in explaining. (:
          • Glad you can relate. It's a pleasure to learn about ourselves together.
  • Yes! Moderation! Balance! A little of this, a little of that within reason! The other thing that drives me absolutely bananas is when someone says, "Oh, I CAN'T eat that..." Barring an actual medical condition, you really can. You choose not to. You don't. It's all good -- eat what you like, but for some reason "I can't" really rubs me the wrong way.
    • Jillian, I totally agree!! The whole "I can't" thing drives me bonkers, especially because for those of us with true food allergies/intolerances it is pretty insulting when someone says they CAN'T eat something when in reality they can. It would be much better to just say "I don't want to," and all decisions would be totally respected! :)
  • I LOVE this! And completely agree! I definitely still think of them as "cheat days", and I always have to remind myself that it's fine and it won't kill me to have some ice cream or whatever. I think it's one of those things, where in the back of my head, I'm like "oh no, if you eat that, you'll gain all that weight back you tried so hard to get off" but that's a little crazy and one day won't hurt anything. Thank you for posting this!
    • Exactly!!! I get the same fears, and it makes sense that we associate those indulgent foods with weight gain/being "bad" but the truth is we have to live a life of moderation and balance, and we have to nourish our souls just as much as our bodies! One treat won't derail all of our hard work, and that's the best thing to remember. :)
  • Thanks so much, Sydney! I completely agree that treat is a much more luxurious and loving word. We have to treat our bodies with the respect and love they deserve, and then it will be much easier to make good choices!! Xox. Ps I love the name of your blog. <3
    • Aww, that means the world to me!! Yay for promoting healthy, balanced living through our blogs!! Xox
  • Totally agree! The whole idea of "cheat" days or meals has always given me a yucky feeling! This idea kind of goes along with another thing that bothers me and I'd love to hear your thoughts- when people obsess over vacation! If you look forward to (obsess over!) vacation SO much, there must be something about your everyday life that you need to change! I get such anxiety about coming back from vacation because I dread the comments like, "back to the real world," and the endless questions about how the vacation was. I believe we should be leaving each day, each week with little "treats" along the way. After all, it is all about BALANCE isn't it!? That is not to say you shouldn't look forward to vacations and plan them as "treats" throughout the year, but there is definitely a balance to be had, in my opinion. Inspiring and thought provoking post, as always. Love, hugs, and namaste♥ Kailey♥ksmsunshineyogagirl
    • Kailey, OMG I cannot believe that you just brought this up, because I was JUST talking about that last night with my best friend. It does go along the same lines as "cheat meals," etc. because I think people who are prone to referring to their food as "good vs. bad" also view the days of their life as "good vs. bad" depending on whether they are on vacation, at work, on a break, or whatever else. It drives me up a wall when people act like vacation is the only time in life where we can have fun and let loose! I truly believe that every day should be enjoyable and "treat-worthy," and if it's not then we have total power over our own lives to change that. It's also similar to how I can't stand when people only look forward to the weekends and act like those are the only days of the week that we are allowed to enjoy... Every day should be enjoyed. :) And vacations are just that added bonus, to see the world and explore and have new experiences, but coming back to real life shouldn't be an unhappy thing! So much love to you, gorgeous! Sounds like we have similar world views and I love it. Xox
  • I so agree! Every day I treat myself to dark chocolate, peanut butter, pretty much anything I want!
    • Love it! Those are all the best treats. :) my favs!
  • I loathe the terminology "cheat meal/cheat day," too! In fact, I recently wrote a post along the same lines. I can see how the concept of "allowing yourself to cheat" can sometimes feel positive (if you think of it as a treat!), but anything that will make you feel guilty if you overindulge or indulge at the so called "wrong" time just isn't healthy. I eat well most of the time, but nothing is off limits to me. If I want froyo, I have some. If I'd rather skip dessert (which, frankly, is hardly ever!), then I skip. Food is whatever you allow it to be. It should be fuel, adventure, pleasure, etc, but, as you know, it can easily become something that controls us.
    • Yes!!! That is so so true. What beautiful words-- food is whatever you allow it to be!! I am all about the idea of food as FUEL, and keeping control over what we put into our mouths so that it doesn't control us.
  • THIS POST! Cheat meals, cheat days or cheat whatevers are a big no no for me. Do I eat sweets, desserts and snacks? Heck yea. But calling them cheat meals just feels so wrong. That kind of terminology is like a gateway to disordered thinking when it comes to food and no matter what anyone thinks, it isn't healthy. Definitely sharing this on twitter/fb this week :D
    • Yessss. You are so so right. Thanks for sharing on your social channels, beautiful!! Means a lot to me to have your support. We are all in this good fight together!! Xox
  • Jordan I love this! I think I've felt this way for a long time now, but just didn't know how to put it into words or know exactly what to call it. But you've done so beautifully- and so simple! Thank you for sharing.
    • Awww, thank you so much Amy. I am so glad that the post and the sentiment resonates with you. Cheers to listening to our bodies and reinforcing positivity rather than negative talk when it comes to food!! So much love to you. Xoxox
  • OMG, Thank you! I`ve been trying to write about this for a long time, and I have a bloggpost with my thoughts on this waiting to be published. I just felt like I missed some words, and now you just wrote everything I didnt manage to get out on paper. Thank you so much! I love this. It really resonates with me and everything I`ve learned recovering from my eating disorder. First I just googled intuitive eating, and things fell into place for me. And today I saw your blogpost. Perfect. Im so happy and I am looking forward to continue my "becoming healthy and balanced" journey. Love from Norway
    • Awww, Mari! I am so thrilled that the blog post came at a good time for you. And double yay for learning the beauty and balance of intuitive eating. You should check out Kelsey Miller at the Anti-Diet Project on Refinery29. (http://www.refinery29.com/the-anti-diet-project), you will fall in love with her honesty and her quest toward balance! Sending you so much love. Would love to read your blog post on the topic once you get it all out. Xoxox beautiful.
  • LOVE THIS!! So true. Spot on. Cheat days, cheat meals makes us feel bad about ourselves and that's just not cool especially when we lead limited lifestyles due to autoimmune diseases. Right on!
    • Yes!!! Knew you'd be able to relate. Yay for living a delicious, balanced life of healthful abundance!! Xox
  • I'm so thankful someone is talking about intuitive/mindful eating! I truly believe it is the only sustainable way to feed our bodies. Keep spreading the word!
  • Amen to all this! I am soooo glad you brought attention to this. I cannot stand all this talk of IIFYM, cheat meals, etc. It's such a distorted and limiting approach to life. I see those eating this way so consumed with meal preps and unable to simply enjoy eating what they want, when they want. And then the whole cheat meal... seriously, what the heck!?! Food is meant to be ENJOYED. ALWAYS. Not once a week and be labeled as a 'cheat'. There is so much more to life than focusing so much on eating the perfect/portioned foods, having the perfect body. Of course I always encourage to eat the healthiest & most sustainable one can, but when it comes down to it, we have to embrace a balanced mindset & life. If you want to eat cookies, have drinks with friends once in awhile, eat bread, cheese or have a snickers bar... then do it! Don't punish yourself, don't say it was a 'cheat' meal, just own it and love your choices. I wish people would stop fixating so much on being perfect and just enjoy their life and food. Love what you eat, eat what you love & above all love yourself, no matter what!
  • I love this Jordan! Printing it off and sending it to friends.
  • Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!! This is perfection in every way! Thank you for being such a great example of how to treat our bodies with love and celebration. It took me a while to learn to really live this, but once I did, I never looked back. What freedom! xx Lane
  • I do prefer the term treat day rather than cheat day. I think people feel that because on Friday/Saturday night because they want to steer away from their regular diet and indulge on the bad stuff that tastes so good they feel like they are cheating themselves. So your telling me that out there, there is a fitness and nutrition plan encouring people to indulge in treats for 45 minutes of their "cheat day" rather than throughout the day? To me I would feel much worse trying to cram all the bad treats in a 45 minute timescale. You can still treat yourself to something that is not in your daily diet and still reach your fitness goals by having treats in moderation. Like you said we can't cut treats out all together. There is recipes all over the internet and blogs were people have shared treats that are still good for you.
  • I have been trying to find the words to write about "cheat" foods , so often interlinked with the words "good foods" and "bad foods", and how our perceptions of everything, including the foods we use, change when some aspect of life is out of balance.... Thank you!
  • THANK GOODNESS someone has said this! As someone currently in recovery from anorexia and orthorexia, seeing terms such as "cheat day" literally brings tears to my eyes. I do not have anything against people wanting to "clean eat", but I resent the terminology used and the connotations they bring. For example, that any food that isn't raw is somehow "dirty", or that like you said eating what you want is a "cheat" - suggesting it's wrong. I hope you don't mind me including this in my next "link love" on my blog? So glad i read!
    • Exactly, Sophie!!! So glad that you agree, and I agree it is such a sensitive topic... brings tears to my eyes, too -- we should never view the food we nourish ourselves with (or indulge in) as "cheats." It's al FOOD, fuel, for the soul and for the body. Yes, I would love for you to include the post in your next link love! What an honor! Xoxox
  • This article really resonates with me. I struggle every day with the mentality of keeping my life in very black & white terms. Meaning I'm 100% into eating clean & healthy, and exercising hard every day, then one thing will slip me up (aka, LIFE) and I go tumbling down into the rabbit hole of binge eating, shame and guilt. I've been trying to achieve comfort in the "gray" area, where I am balanced in my eating & exercising--but goodness is this a hard thing to achieve after years of regimented routines. Especially now that I have a live-in boyfriend who can eat giant hershey's bars like there's no tomorrow. . .its wonderfully refreshing to see so many people who struggle with the same issues. Its even more refreshing to see strong, beautiful women renouncing highly regimented "healthy" lifestyles because they're not sustainable. And here I thought I was just a huge failure because I can't seem to achieve absolute perfection in my diet every day. What a relief!
    • Cayla, what an incredible comment to receive. Thank you so much for reaching out and for sharing a slice of your story with me... It means a LOT, and it's so true that we are not alone in this process. There are so many people struggling with similar rigidity and perfectionism that manifests itself in all sorts of nasty ways. It sounds like you are very self aware and beautiful inside and out, and you've GOT this. <3 <3 Sending you so much love!!! So lucky to have you reading. Xox
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