The Issue I’m Having Lately…
So, I’m having a huge issue lately and I feel like it’s time to confess it to you guys: Overcommitment. MAJOR overcommitment.
I have always had problems with overcommitting myself because I simply can’t say no to anything that sounds fun to me or like a good opportunity for the business. For some reason, EVERYTHING and anything seems doable to me in the moment, until the time to do it actually comes and I am literally unable to make it happen to due other commitments or due to forgetting about it entirely because of having so much on my plate.
Also, I can’t say no to someone who is excited about the prospect of me doing something with them / for them / that they think is a good idea, so that only doubles the issue. And yes, I’ve always had problems with saying “yes” to far too many things at once… But I am realizing in these last few weeks that I have officially met my overload.
You see, I used to be able to get away with the whole overcommitting thing because I was really good at juggling all the things I’d committed to. I guess the things I was saying yes to were easier to do alongside one another because the commitments back then were smaller than the things I’m trying to take on now. For instance, in college I would say yes to absolutely everything. On top of my major and my minor and holding a position in my sorority and doing my yoga teacher training and interning at LA Yoga Magazine and writing a novel on the side, I had a superrrr packed and fulfilling social life, and I went to / planned all sorts of events, took all sorts of trips, made lots of time for my family, surprised people on their birthdays, managed to run and do yoga every day, traveled / studied abroad, the works. Ya know, normal people overcommitting types of things.
Now I still say yes to everything, but my problem has amplified. I don’t know if my ability to juggle it all is dwindling or if I’ve just far surpassed my maximum of things to take on. Between running the blog (my favorite thing all of the things I do, btw), running TBV Apparel, getting ready for the book to come out, writing freelance content, speaking at conferences, photographing new projects for the blog, going on work trips, planning a retreat for March (YAY!), training for the LA Marathon, taking care of my kitten, and trying to have some semblance of a life outside of that… There isn’t really room for much else at the moment.
And let me stop right here and say something before you might start to assume that I am complaining about being too busy: that is not how I feel at all. I love everything I do and I feel super duper grateful to have all of these wonderful things to focus my energy on and pour my creative passions and ideas into.
What I’m really saying is that in TOP of all of that, I have to be very careful not to add to the pile. Everything I mentioned above is pretty much my “maximum,” as far as taking things on goes. I am trying really hard to stop saying yes to things that fall outside of those categories (and now even things that fall within the categories like speaking engagements, hosting events, teaching yoga classes, going to hotels overnight to review them, etc) because I simply do NOT have time and when the time comes to do any of those things… I have to cancel.
I’ve been having to cancel plans a lot which I HATE doing, because it makes me feel like such a flake. I know I’m not a flake, but I also know that if I don’t write down a plan I have to get coffee or lunch with someone and plan around it for days and days, it’s just not gonna be able to happen. And even then, sometimes work things come up and I am still totally unable to go. OR I am so beyond exhausted FROM all of the overcommitting that the thought of going and doing something social where I have to be “on, on, on” sounds not only unenjoyable but truly impossible.
Again, not a complaint. Just a reflection, and something really important for me to think about when making plans and commitments from here on out. I will never stop prioritizing my friends, family, kitten and the people in my life because no matter what people are ALWAYS going to be the most important to me. I was reminded of that last weekend when my two best friends and my parents came to town to celebrate my birthday. I didn’t work for basically four days, and soaking in time with them was so beyond worth it and incredible.
Also while they were here, my text messages and emails were piling up in a psychotic kind of way. We walked out of an Orange Theory class on Friday morning and I had, I kid you not, 100 text messages. 100!! Exactly that number. I was so thrown off and freaked out by it that I couldn’t even begin to think about responding, and then my birthday came around on Sunday and I got about 100 more and started feeling awful about being able to respond, etc.
And what prompted me to write this post is the fact that I just realized that I accidentally booked FOUR important things all in one day (this coming Saturday) and I am going to have to pick and choose and only commit to two. I feel so bad flaking on the other two things, especially because they are work related things I’ve been “committed” to for a long time, but I know I have to do what works best for me in this situation and opt out of the two that I know I won’t be able to make it to.
I know I enjoy my plans more when I don’t have to rush off to the next thing or think about, “OMG, I’m going to be late if I don’t leave in 5,” or “Oh shit, who’s texting me about somewhere that I’m supposed to be right now but I know I won’t make it to?” etc.
NOT worth feeling that way, for me or for ANY of us. I’m writing this post A) to hold myself more accountable to taking care of myself and not committing to way, way, way too many things at once, and B) because I imagine a lot of you Type A people out there also often find yourselves in this position, and we need to stop and smell the roses a bit…. We need to CALLMMMM down!
In order to combat my overcommitment issue, I need to be better about being organized, reflecting on my plans, staying on top of things and not letting my schedule get too wacky. So if you’re someone who wants to collab with me on the blog, interview me for your podcast or site, get coffee to hang out and connect for the first time… I am SO SORRY in advance, but I’m going to be saying no to those things for a while until I get all of my “musts” back on track.
My big things right now are the blog, the book, the clothing line and the people in my life. Everything else is going to be put on hold for a bit while I make sure I am putting ALLLLL of my energy into that stuff. 🙂
SOUND GOOD? I am excited about it and stoked to get my organizing on! I reached my breaking point late last night when I realized the horrible overcommitment issue I’d gotten myself into this coming Saturday, and also when I realized I didn’t even have time or energy to respond to some dear people in my life trying to get a hold of me to talk about THEIR lives. I am not cool with being so unavailable, and I’m going to try to work on that to shed the layers of overcommitment and get back to a normal spot.
I have no problem with admitting that I need to work on myself a bit… And hear it goes, I’m going to begin the NEW cycle of taking care of myself and saying no to things that sound potentially difficult to make happen.
Anyone else ever feel this way?!?! Any tips for overcommitting?! Let me know, would love your insight!