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A Note on Fear about Corona + The Story of Picking Out My Wedding Dress!

March 12, 2020

Hey guys! There is a lot of heaviness and fear about Corona floating around right now that I don’t want to discount. I first of all want to send so much love and healing to anyone who has been affected by the virus — whether it be directly, with quarantine, disappointing change of plans, or otherwise.

I posted on Twitter last night that while it’s ok to be freaking out (and valid!), it’s also ok to be calm. I choose to stay calm because my nervous system depends on it. My body and my mind go through so much on a daily basis with Lyme, more than I could even begin to describe here, and falling asleep panicking about a virus that would compromise my respiratory system in full if I caught it is TOO MUCH for my mind to handle at this time.

I know people have very strong opinions about how to handle the virus and where to go from here, and I will be the first to say no one is wrong. I think people should choose to handle it and deal with it in whichever way makes the most sense for them and the people close to them. Interestingly enough, my best friend sent me a photo last night taken from a psychic’s book written in 2008 that predicted this pandemic would come in 2020! The psychic also said the virus would leave as quickly as it came… which is the feeling I have had about it as well.

So again, I don’t ever want to discount how anyone is feeling or how this is affecting anyone’s life. I know I have a lot of people who read my blog who suffer from anxiety and/or chronic illness, and for us it’s extremely important to not let our mental health take a backseat during this time. There is a lot going on in the cosmos right now with this week’s full moon (a very intense super moon!), daylight savings which my body still can’t seem to shake, the global fear spreading like wildfire (which those of us who are HSP’s are soaking in, big time), just to name a few. Be kind to yourselves and do what you need to do during this time to feel good, it’s the best we can do.

The final words I will say on the subject for now are that my friend Jenna Zoe brought up a really good point today — that when something like this happens to the world it’s important to take note that it happens for all of us for different reasons. People are all affected in different ways. For some of us, this is a call for solitude. A call to draw inward, spend time alone, reflect, perhaps start a project we’ve been putting off — I know that’s what I am doing!

Someone sent me a quote last night that said, “be wary of spiritual teachers who are not addressing this pandemic” and my thoughts on that are — yes, it’s important to address a global issue and be a calming voice to those who need it. But it’s also important not to tell anyone how to be who they are or to teach how they teach.

For example, I went to yoga the other night and the teacher made jokes about Corona for, no exaggeration, the first TWENTY MINUTES of class. And then throughout the rest of the class as well. It was exhausting and disappointing because I went to yoga that night to escape the chaos — not to dwell on it. But would I waste my energy getting frustrated with that teacher because of his dwelling on it? No, because I recognize he is doing what he feels right and what he feels needs to be said about the subject. So instead I embrace him for who he is, and love him wholly as a teacher and wouldn’t want to change his unique perspective.

When you live from a place of love, and see love in all things, in all people, in all circumstances, it’s hard (impossible) to be mad at anyone or any situation.

So now that I’ve shared my thoughts on Corona, and I really hope they bring you some peace in whichever way you can receive today, I wanted to share the fun story of picking out my wedding dress 👗 last year, since I realized I never got to share because my dress was a surprise for almost a whole year after I got it!

I hope that amidst the chaos everyone is feeling today, this brief little story can put a smile on your face, the way watching reality TV or reading a good fiction book has been doing for me this week. 😃  Picking out a wedding dress is such a fantasy for a bride to be, something even I (someone who did not envision anything about my wedding ahead of time) was thrilled to do. So I hope this brings you some joy and brings you to fantasy land today!

SO!!! Picking out my wedding dress…

Last January I was sick — REALLY sick — with Lyme and mold and was deep in the midst of healing, and most days I was too tired to get out of bed let alone go to a store to try on wedding dresses, let alone go to multiple stores with a big group of my closest friends and family to try on wedding dresses. But alas, I did it and I loved it, which goes to show that when doing something for a fun purpose (like our wedding!) with people you love, sometimes that’s the greatest healer of all.

The first place we went was LoHo Bridal on Melrose. It was just me, my mom, and my dad. The following day my two best friends from childhood were flying in from SF, and we had appointments at some of the bigger stores. So the next day it was me and my four maids of honor + my parents! I fully planned on not finding anything I loved on that first day, but you never know what you’re going to find…

What I had in mind for my wedding dress was… flowy, bohemian, lacy, detailed, with lots going on. Basically those bohemian bridal dresses you see on all of the Aussie blogs where the bride is wearing a flower crown and getting married on a long, colorful, gorgeous Moroccan Rug surrounded by Victorian candles and guests sitting on plush pillows at sunset. THAT is what I envisioned.

So of course my dad, being him, pulls the most simple yet elegant looking dress off the rack to add into my room. Immediately I look at him and say, “That is NOT what I am looking for.”

But he, my mom, and the girl helping us all say, “Just try it, you never know! Then you can rule out what you don’t like!”

So right away I try on some of the big, bohemian, flowy dresses that I had imagined myself in. We came to LoHo because it has a big selection of those boho brands that felt so me. When I slipped them on and walked out to show them, I felt… drowned in the dresses. They were pretty, but they also reminded me of what I would wear in my everyday life. Exhibit A: my entire closet when it comes to dresses.

They were big and had a lot going on, so overall what you could see and notice was the DRESS but not the GIRL inside of the dress. You couldn’t see my shape really, and there were so many clamps on the dress (standard for trying on wedding dresses) I looked like I was part of a circus! We all agreed the dresses drowned me a bit.

Then, the third dress I tried on was the one my dad put in the room. I was mostly slipping it on to get it out of the way. But when I put it on, something clicked. Holy shit, I thought. This is my wedding dress. I am getting married in this.

My mom snapped this photo the first time I put it on. Look at my dad in the background.. his excitement (and the pointing- LOL so him) is palpable… I feel it through the photo!

I walked out to show the three of them and their jaws dropped. My dad teared up. It fit like a GLOVE. It was so beyond obvious that it had to be mine. My mom and I looked at each other with a knowing like… this is the one. It was so obvious in fact, that I had my dad stand up and pretend walk me down the aisle because we needed a visual of the wedding day!

But of course it was only the third dress I tried on, so I continued trying on the others with an open mind (or trying to have an open mind), while my dad continued to say, “Nope, we’ve found the one.”

The dress was a Spanish brand I hadn’t yet heard of, called Pronovias. Based out of Barcelona, his designs are all simple, understated, elegant, and basically one of a kind.

We put it on hold and still went to the appointments the next day with my friends, and every time I came out in a dress my dad was like, “NOPE, we have the one.” 😂 Byron knows what he likes!

I found some others that I liked, and I even had a brand send me about 12 dresses to try on for free (SO KIND!!!!) that they were going to gift to me, but even with those nothing held a candle to the one I had tried on at LoHo.

So after we tried on dresses at the big department store appointment, we called LoHo to see if we could bring my friends back to show them the one. They squeezed us in and we went over there. Once I tried the dress on for my maids of honor (my four best friends for life), it was even more obvious this had to be the one. Some of them cried, all of them said I acted differently in the dress. I acted like a BRIDE. I acted more confident in this dress. It was so clear.

I felt like ME in the dress more than anything!!!! My favorite part about it was the buttons down the back, and the way it fit like a glove, and the way it hugged my curves and showed the shape of my body and made me the centerpiece rather than the dress. I loved the little cape in the back and the way it went low in the front while still being super elegant and classy. I loved how timeless it was, how it could be worn in any era, how it literally felt like it was made for my body.

The day we picked the dress! Feeling so loved and supported with my humans. 😀 

I also loved that I had never seen anyone wear anything like it. Although it was simple and classic, I was used to seeing the same types of wedding dresses over and over (all gorgeous) — and I liked that this one felt different. It felt bridal in the sense that I would never wear a dress like this in my daily life, the way I would wear the boho ones. Special was an understatement.

We got the dress that day and I successfully kept the secret from Jonathan for THE WHOLE YEAR!!!! If you know me, then you know that this is next to impossible. I CANNOT keep my mouth shut when I am excited about something. He didn’t want to know a thing — not the color, the shape, whether it had sleeves or touched the ground… NOTHING. If anyone even breathed the words “wedding dress” in his direction, he flipped and left the room.

So during our first look when he got that first glimpse of me in the dress, you guys… it was everything. There are no words. He cried and laughed and “convulse sobbed” (the term we came up with that day 😂) and couldn’t speak. He walked around me in a circle SPEECHLESS.

First look, baby!

When I asked him what he thought I would have chosen, he said, “Something lacy!! Something bohemian! Something flowy and big and… not this!” And, that felt like the best thing to hear in the world. He was as surprised as I was, and he loved it as much as I did. It was perfect. It was everything.

Our first look was one of my favorite parts of the wedding day, for sure. Also when I slipped my dress on for my bridesmaids and walked out in it for the first time, that was another favorite part of the day. Everyone was shocked that it was so simple, yet not shocked because the dress just made sense — and with my hair and my overall vibe the bohemian-ness still completely came to life, but with an elegant twist.

When I came out to show my bridesmaids! With my maid of honor Jill. ❤️ 

Jonathan and I recorded a podcast episode together about the wedding that I will be sharing in about two weeks, so stay tuned for that, and then I still need to get my Part III Wedding Recap up! PLUS we got our wedding video back this week so I will be sharing that soon too. For now I just wanted to share the fun dress experience with you, and I hope it lifted your spirits today — and if you’re a future bride, gave you some inspiration!

More first look magic!

With my groom. ♥️ 


Walking out to show my bridesmaids… ahhh! That moment!


Not to mention, can we talk about how special it is that my DAD picked out my wedding dress?!?! He is the best forever. And this moment with him, our dance, was everything and more.

Wedding photos by Tynan Daniels & Tony Modugno of Via Imagery. Highly recommend!! They are everything!!!

Remember… do you today, this weekend, next week — have boundaries with the fear floating around. Take all the precautions you need, but also don’t be afraid to live. We’ve got this and things will start looking up soon. I love you all! Would love to hear your thoughts on ALL of this!!!