Today’s Recovery Series post is going to be a little different. I have a lot of inspiring bloggers & readers lined up to share their stories of recovery, and I am so excited to get their voices on the blog. This week has been an intense period of reflection for me, and I wrote something the other night that I felt I wanted to share today. It reflects my recovery process and my journey toward my happiest, most whole self. It also reflects my life in general, and the way I want to live my life.
It’s more of a free flow than my usual posts. I hope you enjoy. Happy Friday, lovelies.
Today I feel lucky. I feel lucky to have skin on my bones and to be present in this body and in this crazy, sweet, mystifying puzzle of life. I feel lucky to be rooted on this earth and to have the ability to walk, run, swim, bend and jump. I feel lucky to be surrounded by people who make my heart swell with love and who I can wrap my arms around and who make me smile until my face hurts. I feel lucky to have passions that ignite my soul and make me hustle through the day and make me ache for more. I feel lucky to wake up in the morning and fall asleep at night and dream about the wild and odd things that make my subconscious dance. I feel lucky to have fingers that can write and eyes that can see bright blades of grass and ears that can hear the rolling waves crashing into the shore. I feel lucky to have a drive that pushes me to seek newness and a heart that’s okay with the discomfort of the unknown. I feel lucky because sometimes I feel so full with love that my heart seeps happiness into my whole body, and even though life makes no sense I know in my soul that this universe is a beautiful place to exist.
I know I don’t always get it. I know I don’t always do things right. I panic over lost keys and I yell in traffic and I stress over things I can’t control. I get devastated about the evil things that go on in the world and I question what we are all really here for in the first place. I second guess myself and criticize and dwell on things I want to change. I don’t always choose the precious moments over the superficial ones, and sometimes I keep driving instead of deciding to hop out of my car at sunset to run onto the beach and take a dip in the waves.
But one thing I do know is that the more I let go of the questions and the unease and the fears and the striving for perfection and the preoccupation with things that are not in my control, I feel lucky. I feel calm. I let my heart make decisions that my mind is too programed into the specificities of humanness to make. When I let go I can just be and the world makes more sense and I am reminded that beauty in one single moment far outweighs sadness for any given stretch of time. My heart can buzz in tune with the earth and no matter what I am surrounded by I feel whole and complete.
I focus, I love, I receive, I listen to my heart and I reflect and I act on my impulses and I let the saltwater and the pen on the page heal me. I trust in myself and I believe that the universe holds a certain truth we may never know and may never need to know. To be happy; that is our purpose. And to love. To love a whole lot.
Today I feel lucky. Do you?
xx, Jordan