Lifestyle

The Art of Messing Up Your Life

July 2, 2015

( MESS UP YOUR LIFE, the video. In case you wanna watch before you read! )

Sounds counterintuitive, right?

Why would I want to mess up my life when I could work to make it as perfect as possible: perfect body, perfect career path, perfect relationships, perfect sleep schedule, perfect fitness routine, perfect exterior in hopes that it will all blend to create the most perfect, content & wonderful interior there ever was?

Let me tell you why. Perfection is not fun. It’s attainable, but not maintainable. Once you reach your “goal weight,” “goal job,” “goal ____” [FILL IN THE BLANK, you know what I’m talkin’ bout!] you set a new, higher, more unattainable goal for yourself.

Perfection is an issue. It’s not reality – it’s an escape from reality… A vessel to channel our nervous energy into that inhibits us from living in the moment, cultivating meaningful relationships, being in touch with our creative potential, and being effortlessly happy with who we are.

For many of us, reality is scary. It’s something we run & hide from for fear that what we see in front of us is going to be displeasing. REALITY is the face we see looking back at us in the mirror; reality is the look in your eyes, the curve of your waist, the sentiment behind your smile that tells you how your day really was.

And not all days are perfect. In fact, most days are NOT perfect.

But you know what I’ve learned about perfection?

The happier you are with what you have, who you ARE, and where you are, exactly in this moment, in every moment, the less you’ll care about perfection and the more you’ll care about living in the moment — maintaining the true happiness of being your true self. “Stepping into your light,” as my dear friend Lisa calls it, which really resonates with me.

Once you step into your light, getting messy isn’t about fear of imperfection. It’s about embracing every ounce of imperfection to be perfectly, effortlessly, blissfully you.

#BEYOU

Filming this video was cathartic for me in so many ways. As you can tell in the beginning of my speaking part, it was emotional — I was near tears many times throughout the morning that we filmed, and re-watching it not only brings me to tears but makes the tears stream down my face. Stream.

It makes me bubble up with emotion not only to see how far I’ve come, to re-wire my mind every time I see it to embrace GETTING MESSY versus striving for perfection, to hear my authentic self shining through even if I was afraid, to look back and see how far this journey has taken me…

Not only does it make me cry because of all of the above, but to see my friends taking part in the video with me and allowing themselves to be vulnerable as well — that’s what hits me in the feels with this video.

When we started filming that morning, it was a surprise to everyone involved that we were going to be writing our insecurities on the back of our t-shirts. In fact, I told everyone that part was optional because I was so unsure that they would want to put themselves out there so candidly. (Understandably so!!!)

To my great surprise, after one person stepped forward to write an insecurity… everyone stepped forward. One beautiful soul after the next after the next, and even though it was a new thing for many of us to be so vulnerable, we did it together, and it was a supportive, loving & incredibly magnetic environment to be so open within.

Beyond that — beyond my 9 or so dear friends that took part in #MessUpYourLife with me — I extend this video to all of YOU. I extend the invitation to celebrate your insecurities, the permission to be rawly, openly, PROFOUNDLY open and vulnerable, and to let the emotion flow.

To open up about those insecurities so you can let those bad boys go.

The more we talk about our insecurities, the less and less real they become. So much of what we dwell on about our bodies/minds/lives that makes us unhappy and insecure all exists in our MINDS. Once we get it all out there in the open, it’s hard to believe that such little figments of our imagination can have so much impact.

Try it. I promise, it feels good.

THERAPEUTIC to the 91754938498237th degree!

I would be forever grateful & honored if you watched this video & commented by telling me what your insecurities are — what you want to let go of. I will read every comment (as I always do!) and burst with joy and love for all of your openness and vulnerability.

We are a team, never forget that.

Time to embrace who we ARE and never look back. Here’s to living in the messiness!!! Here’s to living our LIVES.

#TBBTribe

Thanks hugely to Enjet Media for bringing this video to life. I am forever grateful for your support, love & killer vid skills. You guys are everything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuNNG7Vd4Nw&feature=youtu.be

P.S. If you want to hear me talk more about my journey, check out my podcast interview on the fabulous Daily Groove Summit. Honored to be a part of this project with so many health & wellness rockstars.

P.S.S. If you want to hear me talk ALL about my journey, the link to preorder my book, out November 15th, is here. Email me once you have preordered and I will add you to the #TBBTribe email list… With tips & tricks for staying balanced & HAPPY and healthy in your every day life. Basically, more of this bloggy, straight to your inbox. Boom shaka laka!!!

P.S. x 3: Please SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel if you like what you see. The more subscribers I have, the more videos I can create because it will be more legit for me to do so… ya feel? XOXOX love you peeps to the moon and beyond a mill times over.

18 comments

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Cassie

This is one of the BEST posts you've ever published, Jordan. Perfection is indeed attainable but it can only last for so long. And it sucks. There is so much work behind every perfect body, perfect face, perfect diet, perfect life--and it's dangerous that all of these people believe it's the purpose of life! I've struggled so much with the ideal. It made me mean, cranky, whiny, and overwhelmed. I think what society needs to promote more is the best of ourselves rather than perfection. That way, we could all strive to be the greatest our individual selves can achieve.

Jordan Younger

Cassie, thank you so, so much for the kind words and the understanding. SO thrilled to hear that you are on the same page!!! Yay for embracing our messiness, and living in the MOMENT!

Katy

I'm confused--didn't you JUST do a whole post on the importance of mantras and say yours was "today, I am perfect"? This whole post seems to pretty much discredit that one. Was that previous one just bs-- and still really your ED justifying a way to hang on to perfectionism?

Jordan Younger

I think you misunderstood the point of this video and/or my mantra post if you find them to be in contrast with each other. The mantra "Today, I am perfect" is not about perfection at all-- it's about finding perfection in our imperfection: perfection exactly as we are. Embracing our flaws, and knowing that each & every day is as ideal as it can be because we are happy in our own skin. I am ALL about that type of "perfect." And, for the record, I would never call someone else's mantra "BS" for any reason -- not a good way to look at the world, my dear!

Tammy

I watched your video and tears came rolling down. Ultimately, I need to let go of my need for control as it causes anxiety and a fear of not being perfect for me on a daily basis. Some days it is so bad that even if I have free time and a friend calls to ask if I would like to do something, I will often say no because it wasn't "planned." I have always been a bit envious of the "free spirits" around me who are so much more relaxed than I am. I need to start learning to let go of control and live more in the moment. No time like the present! Thanks for the "kick start!"

Jordan Younger

Ahhh Tammy I can totally relate to that!! It can be so, so hard to deviate from the PLAN. I get the same way-- so stuck in my head. My main goal is to become more and more okay with living in the moment and letting go of "the plan." I always have so much more fun that way and go to bed with a smile on my face. It is worth it. We are worth it. Sending you so much love.

Megan

Thanks for this beautiful inspiring post. You are such an encouragement. I would have to say my biggest insecurity is my self-confidence. I really struggle to be bold and brave and stand up for myself.

Jordan Younger

Megan, I totally understand. Standing up for ourselves/what we believe in/what's important to us can be such a difficult thing to do. But the good news is, once we start getting the hang of doing it, it is SO worth it that it's impossible to go back!! It just takes a lot of drawing inward, challenging ourselves and remembering that we are worth the work. So worth it. <3 <3

Niki @ Life With Niki

This was beautiful Jordan! I have totally experienced the need to live a 'perfect' lifestyle and eat the perfect foods and find the perfect workouts etc. as well, and letting go of those beliefs to finally LIVE and enjoy life in the moment has truly been a blessing. It can be so daunting and scary to step out of that comfortable bubble you have created- however once you do, you NEVER want to go back. Loved your video and the message it is trying ti spread, your laughter was unforgettable <3.

Jordan Younger

Niki, thank you so much for the beautiful comment. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and so so touched that you can relate. The laughter is the best part :)))) you rock!

Jen

Thank you for this post. I struggle with the need to be "in control" and striving to be perfect. Trying to achieve both is exhausting and time consuming. I am trying to learn to be more free spirited,but it is not easy.
purelytwins

Beautiful post girl!! We too have learned to embrace life as it is, perfect or not. It's about letting loose and enjoying life. Yes having goals and things to aspire to is great, but we also have learned to be a peace with life now. xoxo Lori and Michelle
Nichole Dunst

This gave me goose-pimples. Really, really beautiful Jordan. I think us young women, especially those of us with high standards of wellness and success, tend to get caught up in this idea of perfection that's heavily influenced by social media. What we don't realize is that what people choose to put out on social media usually does not include the everyday struggles and mishaps. We only tend to show our best moments, but this is not real life. Real life is a collection of the mundane, the hardships, the cherished moments. The fights and arguments, the laughter, the tears. The insecurities and accomplishments. I would love to see more women show the whole package, and you're doing a really beautiful job of it <3 www.joiedevivreblog.com
Amy

Love this Jordan! Perfection is not the be all end all, and I need to keep this in the forefront of my mind more often. I am me. I am not perfect, but I am me. And that's pretty great :)

Jordan Younger

Yes, you are YOU, and there is nothing more beautiful than that!!! <3 thanks so much for the support. So glad the video resonated with you. Such a special one.

Kaitlin @ Heaps of Me

I read this post and watched the video this weekend during my getaway upstate to Red Hook, NY. I had to take the time to digest what a wonderful and insightful post this was before posting my own insecurities...I have so many! I would love to let go of my fear of weight and worrying about what other people think of me. I long to be comfortable in my own skin EVERYDAY, not just some days. Disordered eating is something so many of us struggle with, but feel powerless to overcome. Even worse, we are ashamed and embarrassed that we let food hold such power over us. Thank you for giving us the strength to share our own stories and insecurities! Xx

Jordan Younger

Kaitlin, thank you for your beautiful insight! I so agree that letting go of what other people think of us is huge when it comes to #gettingmessy and saying ADIOS to our fears! Looking at ourselves from a whole new perspective makes a world of difference in recovering from our eating disorder/food fears as well. So glad we are all on this journey together-- #TBBtribe all the way!!! You are the best. Cheers to feeling GREAT in our own skin, every single day.

Micaela

I just loved loved loved this video! Very inspiring message, made me cry too. Why would we give everthing up for an illusion of greatness, when we can have the real thing, just us being raw and real. I think this has a lot to do with the way we want others to perceive us, with the power we give to the "what will they say´s". I´m on a transformation journey too, and it is tough. Thank you Jordan for being there to shed some imperfect yet radiant light :)