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How to Deal With Cyber Bullies

August 19, 2016

Happy Friday my dear lover loves! I felt super inspired to make a new YouTube video a few days ago — a 20 minute long vid no less, LOL — and figured I’d share the deetski deets with you here in case you haven’t watched it yet or wanted to hear more!

Firstly, I was extra inspired to film it because I am ALL ABOUT dat Youtube life right now… And by that I mean I have been watching YouTube videos like crazy. Brittany Dawn Fitness, Brittany Lesser, Michelle Phan, Ingrid Nilsen; and way more. But those chicks are all especially cool so I thought I’d name them specifically. And from watching their channels I feel like I legit KNOW them, and that’s how I want you guys to feel with me! (If you don’t already, hehe. I hope you do! Especially since my Snapchat & Insta story are basically the same #realityshowlife thing just in different form!).

Secondlyyyyy because I have gotten a few questions on my Ask Me Anything page about dealing with negativity on the Internet or about people bullying you in the cyber world and YouTube community. So I figured if a few people were wondering, this must be happening to a LOT of us. Internet trolls are a REAL thing, and they ain’t no fun.

Thirdly, because I got a dumb negative comment from someone I actually know on one of my social media pages… Which I talk about extensively in the video, if you wanna hear more on that front. 😉 Internet trolls are one thing, and real life judgmental people are another… But on a similar wavelength. They both have ish to deal with and sort out in their lives.

Anyway, the video is above. And for anyone who wants the bullet points broken down into reader-friendly tidbits instead of chatty kathy with Huddy sleeping like a baby in the background, here ya go!


  1. Have a supportive group of people that you can turn to that will uplift you, support you and remind you that you are above the negativity. Surround yourself with GOOD people, so that the trolls can’t get to you, because your real life crew has your back. They can shake you out if it when the negativity gets to you (because inevitably sometimes it does). This also requires being there for your friends when they need you, because being a true, supportive, ride or die friend is a two way straight!
  2. Have compassion for the person who was mean to you. They’re taking out their anger and insecurity on you, which is totally unfair, but you are just their target. If you spend your time hating them or harboring negative thoughts toward them, that negativity consumes you and affects YOU. Control your reactions, because disliking them is only going to wear on you versus bother them. They want you to get riled up, so don’t give them the pleasure of that. Have compassion for them because they have issues they need to work through, that’s for sure. And the compassion you have for them will only make you a calmer, happier, less frustrated person at the end of the day — and I care about YOU and your wellbeing.
  3. Be really confident in the choices that you make. If you make your choices for a reason, then you can defend yourself (even if you do so in your head!) whenever and however you need to. If you make big life choices on a whim (we’ve all been there), then it’s quite a bit easier to let other people’s opinions shake you up. The best way to find that confidence is by self-reflection: through journaling, meditation, therapy, yoga, conversations with friends, deep thought with yourself. There’s always room to get to know yourself better — and when you’re confident with who you are, other people’s opinions & mean words legit don’t affect you in the same way (or at all, in some cases).
  4. Don’t engage with the bullies, because they are not worth your time. People who are already saying something rude to you on the Internet are online to argue, and they enjoy the controversy. They have their own issues, as stated in #2, and whatever you say to them, no matter how true and calm your words are, they will likely twist into something you didn’t mean. These people are often very, VERY good at arguing, and they love the argumentation aspect of being mean to someone. No need to stoop to their level — they’ll just engage you in a typing battle that is so not worth your time, and will leave you more frustrated than you felt to begin with.
  5. If that person happens to be your friend, you don’t want them in your life! No need to try to change anything in your life to appease them, or feel sorry for yourself because they don’t like you or don’t want to be friends with you. They aren’t one of the cool cats who SUPPORTS you, as they should, so you don’t need them. Be conscious of who you give your enjoy too… And save it for those who deserve it!

XOXO, would love your thoughts on the video! And any suggestions for future videos… Please do send my way! I am all aboard the YouTube train right now. 🙂