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26 Reflections on my 26th Year //

October 10, 2017

Happy Wednesday evening, my favorite humans.

I think every year that I have had this blog I have written a special little something on my birthday to reflect on all the little tidbits that happened throughout the year, from the magic to the struggles, inspirations, and more.

Tomorrow marks my 27th year around the Sun… and as I look back on 26, wow. Life changing moment upon life changing moment, to say the least. And challenges galore, because life is life. What do I mean by all of this? Well…

Everything is better in list form, so I’m just going to go for it.

26 Reflections on my 26th Year //

1. When I turned 26, I decided it was time to let go of all of the bullshit. I was still holding on to a relationship that didn’t make me happy or feel good about myself, and a few weeks into 26 I decided enough was enough. I walked away, and beyond that I began to set intentions for what I really wanted: personally, professionally, relationally, all of it.

2. I spent the last few months of 2016 taking a good, hard look at what I wanted moving forward and continued shaping my intentions to reflect those goals. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing, but I knew it felt good to write my lists down on paper, color-code them, and pour energy into taking care of myself from the inside out.

3. Right before I turned 26, I did an Ayurvedic Panchakarma that changed my life. It totally planted the seeds for the path I ended up going down for my 26th year of life. Self-care, self-reflection, slowing down, dropping the things that were no longer meant for me, and drawing inward.

4. The end of 2016 was kinda hard, not gonna lie. I decided to close down my clothing line to focus on new things, launched my podcast, started teaching yoga four nights and two mornings a week (think I was trying to fill my time much?), went through the rocky and painful and lonely emotions of that intense breakup, and as much as I was intention setting… I was still caught in a fast-moving, slightly lost, very work-focused lifestyle.

5. Enter 2017: New Years Eve, to be exact. All of my months and months of intention setting were coming to a head as I lead an intention setting & yoga event to ring in the new year, and in those moments leading up to the event I knew I was clear on what I wanted in 2017. Personally, in my career, and in my relationships. I felt so clear in fact, I felt FREE. Free from so many of the worries and anxieties that had plagued me all throughout that winter. It was kind of stunning how clear and in tune I felt, really.

6. Maybe it was a certain amount of letting go, getting clear, feeling free and light, the cosmos aligning, or ALL of it together, but that night… New Years Eve 2017, the love of my life made his way into my life and my heart in a whole new way. My longtime friend, the amazing Jonathan Albrecht, a friend I had pretty much been in love with from afar for a long, long time… came to the event and I knew there was a reason he was there. I could feel it. It turned out that reason was he’d decided to ask me out. We kissed, went on our first date on January 1st, and very shortly thereafter I realized I’d met my forever human.

7. Having such deep, full, fun, meaningful love enter my life through my relationship with Jonathan has rocked my world and made this year one for the books. It didn’t take long for me to realize our love was the real deal… the kind of love I’d wanted all my life. And it wasn’t just there because I wanted it or called it into my life, it was there because he embodied everything I had been looking for — the best kind of love. The kind that is loyal, selfless, committed, honest, and so deeply intertwined and connected with my soul that it hurts in the best way. Never have I felt so supported or understood, and that has allowed and helped me to grow in a trillion new ways. It took that deep connection with myself and the deep level of self-care to even be open enough to receive the love I was always looking for. And now here we are. 🙂

8. Speaking of new things, have ya noticed my spiritual journey?! I have gotten very woo-woo, to say the least. And that’s not Jonathan — he supports it, but let’s just say I am the one that brings the woo to our relationship. Let’s get into that, because these topics deserve their own numbers on the list FASHO.

9. Kundalini. It really all started with kundalini. I was already deeply immersed in practicing yoga daily, living an Ayurvedic-inspired lifestyle, and meditating often. But when I got into kundalini, everything changed. It was very early January when kundalini books and signs started sticking out to me EVERYWHERE. It was very obvious that the universe wanted me to dive in. Then, I met two amazing kundalini teachers + practitioners in Santa Barbara in early Feb, and started taking privates from them. In that setting, everything felt at peace. My body, my mind, my spirit. I felt so divinely connected to my highest self I wasn’t even sure what was going on at first!

10. From kundalini, it all started to spiral spiritually and all sorts of things in my life started making a LOT more sense. Kundalini introduced me to reiki, reiki introduced me to energy alchemy, energy alchemy introduced me to shamanism, shamanism introduced me to my own unfolding shamanic path, that path introduced me to crystal healing, and somewhere along the way I was also introduced to the ideology of the Pleiadians (thanks to Nicola, episode 52 of the pod for that!), non-physical beings, and the celestial world.

11. As I mentioned in my latest podcast episode about this spiritual journey, I am still me! I haven’t changed, I am the same person. It’s just that at my core that person feels so, so much more connected and at peace. I am able to get in touch with my intuition like crazy, and have even been able to channel full blown conversations from spirits that have passed on. It’s nuts, and it’s awesome.

12. Meditation started to take on a whole new form in my life. I meditate for at least 7 minutes twice a day, and that helps me clear the blockages and stay on this path toward being the healer I now know and feel I was meant to be.

13. Through this healing path, my relationship with FOOD basically started to heal itself. I had struggled for so long with redefining my relationship with food after my veganism & after my eating disorder. It took about three and a half years to find my groove again, and somehow this year it just clicked. I love certain things like intermittent fasting, Bulletproof, high fat, mostly veggie but with some lean animal protein, grain-free, the list goes on. I no longer feel guilty for having so many specific food preferences but rather I know this is my highest self knowing how it feels its absolute best. I no longer feel the need to “stop drinking coffee” or “go on a juice cleanse” or “follow a nutritionist’s plan to a tee” because I am listening to my body and I have never felt more in tune with it.

14. Yes, my hormone problems are still there and I am working on them, but they no longer color my life in such a way that I can’t think about anything else. I feel really good about the team of doctors I am working with (hi Dr. Lekkos!) and feel that over the last few months things have been under much more control than usual. We finally got to the root of some lingering issues annddd my newest supplement regime is going great so far.

15. In my 26th year, I traveled to Cabo, Nicaragua, Bora Bora, Maui, New York, Philly, Portland, Arizona, Ojai, Carmel, Sactown (duh), and some other stunning places I am sure I am forgetting. 🙂 For me, this travel year was light and that’s exactly how I wanted it. I was craving more time in LA with Huddy and with Jonathan, living my life and being in my routine. After many years of nonstop travel, this year was a beautiful one to CHILL… with some travel. 😉 Bora Bora was a HIGHLIGHT!

16. A huuuuuge thing that happened in my 26th year was the launching of my PODCAST! I don’t even think there are enough words to describe how much having a podcast has changed and enhanced my life. It has taught me so much about what is important to me, what sets my soul on fire, how I communicate with others, how I represent myself, the direction I want my brand to move, and has introduced me to so many mentors and also made clear to me who I don’t necessarily feel lifted up or supported by. Both win-wins.

17. In my 26th year I got to interview longtime idols of mine for the podcast from Kathryn Budig to Gabby Bernstein to Mark Sisson to Shaman Durek to tons of humans in between. I got to learn from so many amazing leaders in this industry what has helped them grow and how they’ve set their soul on fire.

18. One of the coolest moments of being 26 was being in a video with Gwyneth Paltrow (!!!), and then having her remember me when we chatted at the GOOP Summit several months later! #IDOL

19. I’ve gotten to hone my yoga teaching skills and spread the yoga love all year long, and figured out over time that my favorite way to teach is in an events/workshop/retreat kind of setting. Lots of those to come. Get ready for the RETREAT LIFE in 2018! 🙂

20. BREATHWORK has enhanced my life so much this year. Ashley Neese is an incredible teacher and I cannot wait to keep learning from her.

21. Just a few short weeks ago I became craaaazy inspired from a divinely connected place to start SPIRIT JUICE, my now-weekly newsletter all about the moon phases, manifestation, high vibe living, spiritual tips and tricks, and more. I see it turning into sooooo much fun stuff down the line and I cannot even wait.

22. Bodywork with the amazing Lauren Roxburgh, and acupuncture/cupping with a few incredibly amazing acupuncturists have also rocked my world this year on a self-care level. Same goes for LED light therapy, which I am starting back up in just a few days!

23. My next book is on the near, near horizon. Just sayin’…. always exciting, always so divinely inspired to keep writing. It sets my soul on fire big time.

24. Huddy still makes my world go round. My baby boy turned two this year and now that it’s officially been two full years of being a cat mama, I don’t even WANT to know what I will be like as a parent to a human because I am diehard madly in love obsessed with him all of the things. I love him so much he explodes my heart.

25. I learned the valuable lesson that less is more, and as much hard work as it is to blog all on my own and handle all aspects of my business — that’s how it works best for me and I learn so much every day in this process with my hands in all of the pots!

26. My friends, family, Huddy, and my LOVEEEE make my world go round. I truly believe we are the people we surround ourselves with, and how cool and special it is that when we can’t get enough of those people.

Also MANIFESTING… I can’t wait to dive deep into my manifestation stories and the craziness of setting intentions and watching them come to life.

So much! So much happened this year! Highlights: starting to date the love of my life, becoming much more connected with my higher self & understanding the beauty of this divinely connected life, slowing down, finding balance with my health + exercise + food, and PEOPLE. Community. Love.

Tomorrow, 10.11.17 I will turn 27 and wooowwwweeee I can’t wait to see what this next year brings! I love you guys so much. <3